Perhaps it is somewhat premature on my part to assume that since its been more than a week since "The Ultimate Challenge" has been written, that no one will meet the challenge I presented in that entry; but, I don't think so. Let what I wrote in the numerous paragraphs of that piece stand as a testament to the following - that when you have someone who is attempting to intimidate you and crush your spirit, call their bluff immediately, stand up to them, figuratively grab them by the neck, stare deep into their eyes and set the record straight. Liberate yourself. Respect yourself. And, most of all, Love yourself like nobody can but yourself. It's funny, I have yet to learn how to add photos and music to my blog entries - this is one of those countless times when a boyfriend would come in handy - but one of the songs that came to my mind most when writing that piece was that slightly bubblegummish, late 80's dance hit of Laura Branigan's, "Shattered Glass." The song is fantastic, the video to it was horrible but some of the lyrics really hit home for me while I was writing "The Ultimate Challenge."
Do I regret writing that piece? Not for one single second. And as I more or less indicated in that piece, I'm not backing down. Not budging, not one single millimeter. Repeatedly I have said in this blog that if anyone wants to play hard ball with me, they better hone their craft extremely well and be beyond dilligent at it, because my tolerance for bullshit is at zero. I shall go ahead and count that as one positive to growing older as well as hopefully growing wiser.
I've given it some thought and I also have a footnote to "The Ultimate Challenge." Over the last few months I've thought of ways of how I could prove my existence as well as validate my person to others, without totally compromising my true identity and a few nights ago it hit me. A telephone calling card. Yeah. What better way to convince people that I am real by giving them the voice behind the voice, ya know what I mean? After all, whether from a home phone or a cell phone, the calling card would totally protect my real identity while allowing the other person on the other side of the phonecall to exclaim "Holy Shit, he really does exist!" to which I of course would be tempted to say "Oh ye of little fucken faith!" But then I took this concept to the next level.
Why the hell should I go to all that trouble? Why should I have to pay for phonecards that I cant even afford right now as it is? The answers are simple - I can't and even if I could, I wouldnt. My days of having to prove anything to anyone on that level are over with. I've been 100% honest about who and what I am, as well as what my true intentions are from day one - the only thing I havent done is provided a real name, and that's it. And guess what? I'm not the only one on Facebook, let alone the entire internet, who does that. My God, look at all the people I know who exist and/or writer under other pseudonyms. Isnt this all sort of a double standard, that its okay for everyone else to do it, but not the person behind HivSpice? Sorry everyone but for myself, I think that's kinda fucked up. And if anyone is moronic enough to say "Well yes, but you're Hiv+." First off, why the hell should that make any difference whatsoever and second off, how the hell do you know what the health status of every single individual out there on the internet is? That's not only impossible, but it's both illogical and irrational to even think that way.
Actually, what I should do is add in an extra clause to "The Ultimate Challenge" - whenever everyone else comes out and throws their real names on the table out there, I will too. But with the exception of a few of my close friends, I too feel that that is a challenge that would go just as unmet as the marriage scenario I wrote about in that piece. Bottom line - yes, another bone to pick - people must stop lauding that fucked-up double-standard over my head. I'll admit, there are only a very few of you out there who do that to me, but that's gotta stop too. People really do need to get a hold of themselves and start thinking logically and rationally, thank you.
Getting back to that calling card idea though...lol...ya know, it would be sucha trip to actually speak to some of the wonderful people I've had the blessing to become friends with here online! Even to all the fine folks who know that I am a real person, just think, they'd be able to say to themselves "Omg, he really is real! Sometimes he even talks the way he writes - longwinded! Quick, Sparky! Call the phone company up and get the damn number changed!!" Seriously though, I never ramble on and on over the phone unless the other party really needs to talk about something they feel is important. But I think it would be fun, I really do, ya know, just to call up and say "Hey Sparky, how the hell are ya?" and talk for 10 to 15 minutes. Oh well, maybe someday. Not to boast, but that's something I very rarely worry about in my life - my heart is always in the right place, always. Thank you for reading.
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