For Asher Brown - Tuesday, September 28, 2010

By now most of the world has heard about the tragic suicide of Asher Brown, 13, a student at the Hamilton Middle School in the Houston, Texas suburb of Cypress, who a couple of days ago shot and killed himself because he was viciously bullied by his fellow students for being gay. I heard of this incident yesterday morning but didn't wanna write anything about until I had read every one of the news stories covering this extremely sad event. Naturally, anytime anything bad happens to a fellow human being, but especially a child, it breaks my heart and I get all choked up. But at the same time it makes me angry, viciously so, because no child, no adult, no human being should have to feel that it is better to end their lives due to all the heinous and cruel treatment they receive from others just because they are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgendered. What happened to Asher Brown and the horrors he experienced, the cruel, vicious things he experienced because of other's bullying, bullying based totally on hatred and intolerance, should never have happened at all. Children, regardless of age, are not born as bullies, nor born bigoted - those things are learned, and in almost every instance, they are learned in their homes. Parents need to stop raising their children to hate. It's as simple as that. This kind of behavior has got to stop - it must. It's up to us, the living, to do something about.

Perhaps in some ways it could have been even worse for Asher - he at least had a loving and supporting home life, complete with a Mom and StepDad who loved him tremendously. If I hadda dime for all the times over the years that I have heard about such tragic events taking place, always compounded by the fact that there was no love and acceptance in an individual's home environment, I'd truly be a rich man by now. But Asher's family, whom I might add deserve a giant medal and much love for embracing, not condemning, their child, loved him no matter what and God bless them for realizing that no matter who or what your child is, they are always always worth showering with unconditional love and acceptance. No child, whether by their own hands or someone else's, deserves to die for being who and what they are. And, when you really think about it, those kids at Asher's school are the ones responsible for pulling that trigger on that gun, not him.

In the articles that I have read regarding the events that led up to Asher's death - more like murder, hey, I call a spade a spade when I see it - the parents were aware of what were going on and the school officials were also aware of what was going on; but, from what I've gathered, in Asher's mind he just couldnt live with the harassment and severely taunting abuse he received from his schoolmates, so he decided to end his personal pain and suffering. Perhaps if there had been a chapter of an organization such as GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network) in place in Asher's local school district they could've done something to help him, maybe even somehow prevented it, I dont know. One thing I do know is that the majority of people who kill themselves are not deranged psychos who have lost touch with reality as society has painted them to be - isn't it ironic that even in death, those people are denied the peace they strove so desperately to garner from society? True, Asher was definitely beyond distraught enough to feel he had to take his own life; but, by the same token, it's quite obvious that his suicide shares one universal element with everyone else who ends their own lives - the kid obviously felt he had nowhere else to turn to. And, that's the part that makes me break down and cry, that that little boy felt so goddamn alone inside, that he felt so damn upset because he felt he had nowhere else to turn.

I'm not gonna assess Asher Brown's death because no matter how much we all as concerned individuals want and need to come to full terms with what happened to him, it's not ever gonna bring that young man back. However, we can definitely do something about, we can do our damnest to make certain that not only did Asher not die in vain, but maybe we all can somehow prevent something like this from ever ever happening again. The bigotry and hatred that his schoolmates were spoonfed by their families and by society in general comes from the same exact source that is responsible for every single loss of LGBT life since time began - society's inability to destroy it's social mores and moral judgements of yesteryear and replace those negative, oppressive things with the compassion and acceptance that should be more than abundant here in the year 2010. Our race of beings has come a long way since the world came into existence but we obviously have much more work ahead of us because quite frankly, shit like this should NOT be happening. We need to do something about this, changes need to be made.

First, let's not sweep any of this under the rug - the people who are responsible for Asher Brown's death need to be punished - and severely I might add. Oh I know that's not gonna bring Asher back but damn it, people need to pay the price for such barbaric, inhumane behavior, starting now. For starters, I think legal charges should be brought against those individuals who are responsible for his death. They all need to be sentenced to their local juvenile home indefinitely. Lock them up and throw away the key? Oh no, definitely not, those scumbags dont deserve to get off that easy. The state of Texas, more specifically, the city of Houston, Texas, needs to make it mandantory that every single one of those kids who even looked at Asher Brown in a negative way should be required to undergo intense psychiatric evaluation and treatment at one of the world's leading names in the world of psychological and psychiatric studies - the Menninger Foundation. A state hospital environment is all they should be given? Fuck no, they deserve the creme de la creme of mental institutions and since Houston, Texas is the new homebase for Menninger, how convenient is that? For those of you who may think "Well that's good enough Spice" think again, I haven't even started. They deserve far more than just fun-time at their local juevy home or mental ward - so much more.

Second, we need to launch a nationwide campaign to brand, to label - and most of all to make them never ever forget for one single day for the rest of their lives - Bullies. You got it. You know how this country has a public database for those who are child sex offenders? Well, we need to create one for Bullies. I'm not kidding. Any person in this country, or even on this entire planet, who commits the crime of bullying against their fellow human being, whether it's for being Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, Plaid, having Four Noses or Seven Ears, and so on needs to learn for once and for all that BULLYING IS WRONG AND NEEDS TO BE STOPPED FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL!  What's that you say, reverse psychology? Heaven's no. True, that would work in this scenario but no way, again, no one will be allowed to glide by the system on this one. It should be federal law in this country that if your parents are going to raise you as a Bully then you should be made responsible for the crimes you commit as a Bully and reminded of this every single day of your life. Permanently. No matter how old a person gets, no matter what they no, no matter where they live, it should be a PERMANENT LABEL so when you're living in someone else's neighborhood they have the right to plug your fucken name into a computer database to find out that "My name is Tommy Jones and I am a bully. In 2007 I was convicted of harassing a 14 year old lesbian girl to the point where she took her own life." 

Oh and don't think the parents of the Bullies are getting off scot-free either. One of the rules of that datebase should be that ANY and ALL members of a Bully's family must be listed inside the database - after all, why should the children pay for the sins of their mothers and fathers? You listen to me right now America, if you're going to allow such inhuman trash to be a part of this great country, then those people need to pay the price for raising hatemongerers, for raising murderers.

Third, in every city, in every town, in every small burb across America, we the people need to force our federal government to make it mandantory that every single municipality is REQUIRED to include a LGBT organization as part of their school district not just so that what happened to Asher Brown and so many other children like him ever happens again, but to patrol our nation's school hallways to make certain such harassment stops AND to make certain that no child of any age, background or sexual orientation feels they have no one or no place to turn to in their time of need. This is NON-NEGOTIABLE America, the children - EVERY CHILD - of this great nation deserves to be saved, deserves the opportunity to become educated and grow within an environment that is morally and unconditionally supportive of EVERY CHILD, not just the straight ones, not just the rich ones, not just the church-going ones but EVERY CHILD.

Fouth, and finally, we adult members of the LGBT community worldwide need to do more. Reading about it in our Facebook newsfeeds or watching it on CNN and exclaiming how horrible it is and then going about our daily lives isn't enough. No matter where each and every one of us lives, we need to - with or without a national organization standing behind us - become more involved in our local school districts. We need to push for our local school districts to implement those LGBT educational networks. Our voices need to be heard and no, not do "indoctrinate" children "into our lifestyle" as the Biblethumpers and Hatemongerers preach, but so that we can make some contribution in saving a kid's life, a kid like Asher Brown. No one should say how much what happened to Asher upsets us and then take on the attitude "Well, let's just hold our breath and pray it doesnt ever ever happen again." No, I'm sorry, that is unacceptable. If you stand by and remain complacent, this type of hate crime will continue to happen over and over again. I just cant help but think of the "What If..." scenarioes on this one...what if there had been a LGBT outreach program at Hamilton Middle School, could it have helped in saving Asher Brown? What if there had been various leaders of the local LGBT community sponsoring lectures or student support meetiings after-school, and educating the kids in that school that it's truly okay to be gay, could this have made a difference as well? Could any of this somehow stemmed or even diffused even a bit of the hatred that brought about Asher Brown's death? Could it have made that little boy feel so much more less alienated and less isolated? We may never know but I ask you, why must we always wait and wait for it to happen over and over again to re-address these issues? We need to start laying the groundwork now, bit by bit, piece by piece, so we can at least do something about this. Now.

Whether as an adult, or as a child, it's a known fact - hell, even an unspoken rule for that matter - that nobody likes a Bully. Yet throughout our lifetimes, as children in school, as students in high school and college, and yes, even as adults in the modern day workforce, we experience some type or form of bullying throughout our lifetimes. It is true what they say, there is an asshole in every crowd. But what happened to Asher Brown goes way way beyond popular phrases and/or idioms - we're not talking about words, we're talking about a human life here. No one should ever ever have to contend with an environment where they are continously condemned and harasssed for being who they really are, regardless of their sexual orientation. When I try to put myself in Asher Brown's shoes and attempt to imagine the hurt, pain and loss of hope that that little boy experienced before his death, it not only upsets and enrages me, it makes me realize that we as LGBT people can no longer allow society to dictate what is best for the LGBT youth of today. What happened to Asher is yet another wake-up call that if we don't start doing something about it, there won't be any LGBT youth of tomorrow. Yeah, this is that serious guys. We have to make these changes happen. Now.

In closing, I'd like to offer my sincere sympathies and condolences to Asher Brown's parents, family members, and friends in this horrible tragedy that they are currently enduring. If I could take away all their hurt and pain and even bring Asher back with the sweep of a magic wand, I'd do so instantly without thinking twice. Boston is a pretty long ways away from Houston, so since I cannot be there to pay my respects in person, I'm sending them all the love, compassion and hugs that I possibly. This evening when I return home from work, I'll be lighting a candle for Asher Brown and sending love to him as well as healing thoughts to his family members. His life did matter and I know it always will. Thank you for reading.

 

Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo

Cyber-Stalkers: What Do You Do? - Monday, September 27, 2010

I was once considered a "lurker" when I first re-introduced the Spice nic to Facebook in April of this year but I have never been called a "stalker" - and I don't plan to ever be called that. I despise the term "lurker" even though it does remind me of the group "Berserkers" in one of my most favorite horror films of yesteryear, Clive Barker's "Nightbreed" (1990) - just loved that movie! But still, the term lurker is unsettling to me because it implies a person who lurks behind the internet scenes, instigating mischief and mayhem - not only am I not that type of person, but please, with my life the way it is I have enough problems of my own as it is, I definitely dont have the inclination, nor the time to be doing shit like that. The reason I would like to talk about stalkers is because I think it's something that needs to be talked about, especially since I have a good, sound reasoning to believe that someone is cyber-stalking me. Regardless of what kind they are, most stalkers arent usually conscious they are stalking someone until it gets to the point where you find a dead rabbit on your doorstep or you find yourself playing 2nd lead in a Morgan Fairchild Lifetime-Movie-of-the-Week production. Personally, I don't like the thought of either scenario, so let's talk.

By the way, "re-introduced" in the opening paragraph needs to be explained. In 2009, I think it might have been in late Summer/Early Fall, I decided to open the Facebook account of HivSpice. I wasn't sure about it because I thought "Golly Gee Whillickers Batman, what if I am the only visible Hiv'er on this network??" Well, that's exactly how it felt. From then until December of that year, nothing, it was as if I had never created the account. I heard from only 1 person during that time-frame. Some straight guy was trying to find some new friends for his Hiv+ lady friend and naturally, as most people have done at first, he assumed that with the Spice at the end of the nic, I was like an Hiv+ version of one of the Spice Girls. Not so, as we all know. I told him no, sorry but that if she wanted to talk, she could always contact me. Nothing came of that. So I thought to myself "This Facebook crap is a waste of my time." So I left the account as is and then one day in April, 2010, I thought to myself "Oh what the hell? Let's check to see if anything has happened." When I accessed this account, my friggin mouth dropped and hit the floor with sucha thud!! There were at least 10 to 12 "Friend Requests" and once I started clicking onto those requests I found a whole brand new Hiv+ world that I had never known even existed on Facebook. Personally, I still would like to know what the hell happened between the time that I opened the account and early April, 2010, I dont understand how I could have missed it all but thank goodness I found it, well, more like it found me. Anyways, back to business.....

I dont know how the rest of you may look at this, but I've always assumed (which yes, I know, isn't always a good thing to do, especially on the internet) that if somene felt I was commenting, chatting or privately messaging too much in their personal direction, they would have the inclination and/or maturity to let me know. So far, I've never had any complaints on my sincere intentions of keeping in touch with my friends as regularly as mutually agreed between myself and the other person(s). After all, I believe in regular, open communication with those whom I believe are my friends and/or family on places like Facebook, and obviously those other parties involved must feel the same way otherwise I think they would've told me otherwise by now. I have no hesitation in telling others "Hey look, sorry, I cant talk to you right now, can we catch up another time?" or as is the case with me the majority of the time, especially when I get home from work so late at night "Sorry, getting bombarded, having a hard time keeping up, thanks for your patience." All these types of responses and exchanges are fine-n-dandy; but, what do you do when encounter someone whom you believe is not only a cyber-stalker, but who also appears to be two-sandwiches-shy-of-a-picnic-basket? That's where it gets tricky. 

There are a few ways you can deal with "cyber-stalkers", the politically correct term applied to those individuals who give you a strong indication that they indeed stalking you online. First, you can simply delete and/or block the person and be done with it. Quite frankly, that sounds like the most effective and direct way to deal with such people, simply cut to the chase and kick them to the curb. But when it comes to Facebook, that method appears to leave a certain amount of unsettled residue especially when the person you blocked is friends with your other friends. In some cases, it can lead to even further exchanges, which in turn can occassionally turn embarassing and/or heated up. I dont know about the rest of you, but drama and stress are something we all could use less of in our daily existences. This is a legitimate option but dont kid yourself, be prepared for a certain degree of fall-out.

Second, confronting the person directly yet privately, the civilized, mature method as I'd like to call it. In my opinion, this is probaly one of the most effective ways to deal with sucha situation as a cyber-stalking scenario. Be honest, be open and try to resolve it one-on-one. Since dealing with this cyber-stalking crap is very new to me, I would think this method would work best because nine times outta ten any sane, rational person is going to also realize that if there is a problem and if they are indeed a person of good character, they will want to work with you in finding a positive resolution to the problem. For those rare times when the issue cant be resolved, I would think that both parties accepting that and parting company would be the logical conclusion. However, one can run into those folks who simply don't want "to let it go." In such rare instances, it can be extremely frustrating to know what to do, but if all else fails, it appears that deleting and blocking the other individual really is the only recourse. It's sad, but true, even if you're like me and do everything you can before resorting to sucha final measure, sometimes you just dont have a choice.

The third and final option is something that is probaly the most nondramatic, nonconfrontational, non-shared-friend-upsetting choice of them all - simply ignore those who are cyber-stalking you. It sounds easy to me. Don't respond to their comments, don't respond to their private messages and when they are in your chatbox, either say "Sorry, really busy right now" or simply don't respond at all. No one likes to be ignored under any circumstances, I think we all can agree on that, but when you are indeed being cyber-stalked, what are you really suppose to do? Although I have offered what I feel are some positive resolutions, there is no guidebook stating what is the best thing to do or not to do. 

When all else fails and you have exhausted any or all of the aforementioned options, you do have the right to report the person whom you feel is cyber-stalking you to the proper authorities but I myself would utilize this as a final resort only if the person is continuously verbally harassing you as well as threatening physical violence against you and/or your loved ones. The entire world wide web was originally designed for us adults and if any of us adults out there cannot "play nicely" with each other than those individuals should not be allowed to be on the internet. Period. In this regard, even whether it's an issue of cyber-stalking or not, it's perfectly normal to disagree or even argue if you dont share the same viewpoint with another person; but, try to do so in a respectful, civilized, mature manner. Defaming, harassing or even bullying someone just because you don't agree with them is not only immature and barbaric, but also extremely ludicrous.

How do you know for sure someone is cyber-stalking you? That is so easy to answer and here it is - when it's to the point that when you sign onto the internet, you can't breath. Figuratively as I intend this, it is also possible for this to be meant literally as well. It's one thing having a large number of friends and family to converse with, I know I am blessed to interact with so many extraordinary people online and I never, ever turn a friend away, or anyone who wants to communicate with me because that's the type of person I am, I firmly believe in being nice to everyone, I really do. But when you sign-on and someone is there in your face constantly, whether it's chat-wise, message-wise, comment-wise, or all of the above, you know that there is a problem. When someone is on you so much that you cannot even hold a half-decent conversation with anyone but that person, you know there is a problem. And, when you look at that person's friends list, whether it be on Facebook or any other internet social network, and see they have a few hundred or more friends, and you exclaim to yourself "Oh my God, why the fuck am I being singled out?? Do those hundreds of other people know what this person is all about and now I am the lucky number being pulled out of the hat??" then you know there is a problem. And, when you drop hints here-n-there or even tell the other person "Look, I'm really busy right now, do you mind if I connect with you another time?" and the person keeps going on and on with the conversation, as if you didn't address the concern whatsoever, then you know there is a problem.

One of my dear friends suggested the following - just turn off your chatbox, that way, end of problem. Yeah sure but what about the other people you really really wanna talk to? I would NEVER allow someone else to control me that way - NOT EVER, whether online or in real life. I'm not kidding I MEAN IT. If any of you feel that turning off your chatboxes is a legitimate method to handle a cyber-stalking problem, hey, go for it, you have my blessings if thats truly what you wanna do; BUT, I refuse to do that. I won't. I can't. And of course, I'll tell you why. Chatting online is more than just talking, bullshitting or joking around with people - it's how I spend time with my friends, my family members and especially those who mean the most to me - my friends who are my family. I will not allow anyone to come in-between the important people in my life and myself. If you allow anyone to control you that way, you're nuts. You'd be better off telling the person who is cyber-stalking you to go fuck themselves flat out and that if they ever tried that shit with you again, you'd be the one doing the cyber-stalking, not them.

But with me, it goes even further. I've said it before and I'll say it again - there isn't a person I wont help out there if they need someone to help them and if it is in my power to help them. I will NEVER turn away anyone who comes to me in need. This is especially true of my fellow Hiv'ers. There are about a dozen or so of my fellow Hiv'ers whom I speak with online on a regular basis, not because I feel required to because we share the same disease, but because I want to speak with them. We're like our own private little family - notta clique, no, not by any means - justa simple group of people who try to be there for each other as much as we possibly can. And since most of us live all around the world, what better way to connect, talk and share with each other than via the internet? These people are as much my friends and family as my non-Hiv'er friends. I enjoy spending time with them as I do with many of the people I know online.

So factor in a cyber-stalker into this mix. I work almost 12 hours a day - so do many folks I know, I'm not complaining, nor crying about it - and my jobs are very demanding; the main one moreso than the 2nd one, but either way, when I get home at night I am exhausted from work and like to relax and chillout as they say by going online and visiting with my friends on the internet. Plus I love making new friends and getting to know the ones I currently have much better, especially if there is a possible love/relationship interest out there, ya know? After all, I'm a single guy and ya know, you gotta explore the possibilities. All hunky-dorey, right? True, BUT when you have a cyber-stalker, you are expected to set aside everything that you wanna do and can do, whether talking with friends or helping others, all for the sake of that other person. You are expected to put them first above everything else, even if someone is half-dead, you're expected to sit at your computer screen and listen to your cyber-stalker's conversation and God damn you to hell if you even remotely entertain doing otherwise. Uh-huh, and that's how it is. You wanna know how the mind of a cyber-stalker works? Re-read this paragraph and there's your answer. Please, do NOT allow anyone to control you this way, not ever. Do what you gotta do, ignore them, tell them off, banish them permanently from your internet universe if you must, but get rid of them. They are nothing but psychic vampires who will fucken prey on anyone they can sink their teeth and claws into - don't let them do it. Stop them right in their tracks. I mean it. There's no way you will ever get through to people like that, there is no compromising, there is no rationalizing, there's not even any point of having a calm, mature conversation with them because none of those things will work. Throw them outta your lives like yesterday's trash - you'll be so fucken glad you did.

Awhile back I was once accused of using this blog to attack others, but the person who accused me is no longer a part of my life. When it first happened, I thought to myself "Well, they are a friend, maybe I need to take good hard look at myself, maybe I have done something wrong." But after a good reality check I realized I wasn't in the wrong. And when my accusor began to attack me repeatedly not just on what I write in this blog, but even on things I would comment on, I realized that that person was really not my friend to begin with, but the person in the wrong, not me. But that's not the point, one of the glories of having a blog is that it is your sole property - you can do whatever the hell you want and you are not required by anyone or anything to explain or justify your actions to anyone. If I did wanna attack my cyber-stalker, name and all, in this blog, I would, but I dont play low and dirty like that. Talking about what is going on without naming names is good enough for me. Besides, there's always a chance that person will read this entry and even if they do, do any of you really think that person is gonna get the picture? I doubt it. I highly doubt it.

Before I close this piece, I just wanna say one more thing - please, all of you who know me and joke around or talk with me on a regular basis, please dont get paranoid or freaked out by this entry. There are so many of you out there who I truly adore and I think are some of the most fascinating people I have ever had the privledge of knowing and caring about, as well as being allowed to call my friends and family. It may have taken me a few days to further confirm my suspicions and warning signs that someone is definitely cyber-stalking me, but I have the situation under control and I hope and pray that if this ever ever happens to any of you out there, that it too will only take you a few days or more to accept and confront the reality of it all. Actually, I consider myself kinda lucky, most people deal with this kinda bullshit for several months or longer; but, not me. I cant afford to waste what I consider precious life-time on someone belligerent like that - and none of you should either, not ever. Thank you for reading.

Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo

BlondeNation - Saturday, September 25, 2010

No, this isn't gonna be a treatise on the Top 500+ Blonde jokes floating out there in the universe, it's gonna be quite the opposite. With being a blonde myself, jokes about being one is nothing new to me but the stereotypes that us blondes are dumb, dittzy and totally out of touch with the world around us is something I do have a bit of a problem with. Of course, yes, I've told my share of blonde jokes too because as I always say, if you cant laugh at yourself, what can you laugh at it? And I too, like many other of my blonde compadres have repeatedly exclaimed "Oh, I must be having a blonde moment!" Humor is usually never a bad thing unless you use it as a weapon to harm others; however, negative stereotypes about various groups of people, including us blondes, is a bad thing. So, I've decided to stop cracking jokes about being blonde regarding myself and others; and, have decided to illustrate that one's hair color has no correlation to their intelligence, their ability to excel at their goals or their desire to simply be themselves, as we all should be. There is no shame in being a blonde, whether toehead, yellow blonde, honey carmel, bleached, dyed, you name it, because we all are special, regardless of our genetic hair color.

Of course, writing a mere blog entry on this subject just isn't gonna cut it when it comes to getting the aforementioned messages out to the rest of the world, so I would like to share my idea of eventually establishing a national foundation for blondes. Oh my God, I have to admit, writing that and then reading it just made me chuckle too cause I can just imagine all the innuendoes I just set myself up for by saying that, and yes, I can see the humor in it too; BUT, I feel it's a legitimate idea. Nope, not another one of those fly-by-night organizations complete with t-shirts, bumper stickers, pins and mousepads stamped with any logos on it, but a true organization that promotes us blondes in a very honest, positive light. Naturally, all blondes are welcomed to join, as are any of their friends, family and/or supporters - you don't have to be blonde to join but you do need to accept, as well as promote, the truth about blondes - that we're honest, decent, hardworking folks like everyone else, we are not idiots, morons or trollups of any kind. Okay, maybe some blondes out there are those things but that most certainly does not mean that we as a collective group of individuals are any or all of those things. What better way to make such a statement than to establish a national organization - BlondeNation -  designed by blondes, for blondes?

Like with all the other hair colors out there, blondes have made their contributions to the world over the centuries too. Yes, I suppose the first place to start is the area where they have been glorified as actresses, musicians and sex symbols, the entertainment industry. Of course, several have crossed over into more than one medium in that particular industry but most of us know of or have heard of one or more of the following people: Mae West, Jean Harlow, Carole Lombard, Lana Turner, Betty Grable, Marilyn Monroe, Kim Novak, Jayne Mansfield, Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Gwen Stefani and the list goes on and on. But we blondes are also capable of excelling in areas other than acting, singing and being seductive. What are those other areas? I've researched and cross-referenced every subject connected to blondes on the internet and all I've come up with so far are blogs and articles about being blonde versus brunette, a ton of references to Marilyn Monroe, a gazillion or more blonde joke websites and that is about it. Sad, just so sad that no one out there has documented the intellectual contributions that us blondes have made to society. Or maybe I am wrong about all of this, perhaps the world realized long ago what I have known all my life - that the point is mute, that it doesnt matter what color a person's hair is, what does matter most is how they use their brains, their intelligence, to make a difference in the world. I truly was prepared to go down every career field out there - scientists, mathematicians, astronomers, newscasters (Jessica Savage, Diane Sawyer and Katie Couric to name a few), financiers, explorers, inventors - and list the blondes from each category; but, such lists do not exist, not even on the world-wide-web.

Trust me, I've cross-referenced everything out there on the internet and nada, zip, zilch, notta friggin thing and I find that so damn frustrating. Another odd thing about all the research I've done is that there are millions of references to blonde women but very very few in regards to blonde men. Granted, I realize that this may very well be a result of Hollywood's decades-long obsession glorification of blonde females, but still, even when it comes to blonde males, actors, models, singers and musicians are all that I came up with. No shit. Oh wait, werent Amelia Earhart, Beryl Markham and Margaret Bourke-White all blondes? I believe they were and all three were women who dominated in predominantly male-oriented career fields. Hey, fantastic accomplishments not just for women, but for us blondes too. Still, I'm sure there are thousands more examples that exist out there, I just cant seem to locate them but in a way maybe that's not sucha bad thing because one of my main points in wanting to create BlondeNation is to establish and promote the fact that hair color is irrelevant to an individuals true potential. But I also think it's equally important to provide blondes with a sense of national pride, unity and commaraderie when it comes to being who we are. Why? Because people are always making fun of them, at the expense of them and I think that's wrong.

Being blonde is merely a feature on a person's body and that's basically it. It's just like eye color, skin texture, height, weight, etc., - it's just a result of who we are gentetically. And that is all. It doesnt make anyone any less intelligent than others, nor does it make a person anymore clutzier or ditzier than anyone else out there. Perhaps it can be sexier than other peoples out there but that is truly a matter of personal opinion - besides, there is so much more to a person than their ability to seduce others, as well as their sexuality too. Being blonde is just one tiny piece of the overall person and that about it sums it all up. Thank you for reading.

Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo

Thoughts On The Afterlife - Friday, September 24, 2010

I know, the weekend is beginning and the last thing any of us wants to think about right now, or any day of the week for the matter, is death and dying but that's not really what this piece is gonna be about. I just wanna share some of my thoughts on what happens to us after we kick the bucket. I was gonna tie this one in with my "mini-psychic-series" of pieces since this subject is heavily linked to the paranormal world in certain ways but I decided not to because it doesn't matter what you believe in spiritually or otherwise, biting the dust is something we all will end up doing sooner or later anyways. Naturally, everyone is entitled to their own belief system in regards to death and the afterlife, I am not saying that everyone needs to believe in or agree with my views on the subject, I'm merely sharing what they are. In fact, I actually insist that even after reading this piece, please, by all means, stick to their own thought patterns because then if I say something and it doesnt prove to be true, there might be some negative energy headed my way and I dont know about the rest of you but that's the last thing I need in this life, let alone the afterlife.

A special note here...upon reading this particular piece, some folks may say "Hey, I can identify with this-n-that" or "Mannn, he's really really whacked, I wonder if this is perhaps a side effect of the Atripla?" Trust me, I'm 100% mentally stable and totally competent when writing any piece. Some of the things I am about to say may very well cause an irrational reaction in others but as with everything I write, I'm basing what I know on personal experience as well as personal perceptions. Like I said, I dont want any of you changing what you believe in for my sake for I truly believe that things like death, Heaven, the afterlife, and so on and so on are totally what you believe in and expect them to be. You see, the funny, as well as extremely ironic aspect of a discussion of this nature is this - none of us, not one, not even myself, is going to know 100% for sure what is or isnt the complete truth until each one of us dies. Kinda morbid to say that, but it's true - none of us will truly know what will happen until it actuallly does. And that right there, my friends, is the reason why most people are scared shitless about death and dying - because unlike life, we have no past or previous experience on which to accurately gauge what the experience will or wont be like until it actually happens. Of course, those who are psychic or are deeply involved with past-life regression therapy may disagree with me on that but you get the picture.

The two things I hate most about death - I know, kinda irrational for any of us to dislike something we've never experienced before, isnt it? - are, naturally, the fear of the unknown and being seperated from loved ones. On the former, I have a very good idea, based on my own experiences and what I have studied on what will or wont happen. On the latter, I've always been taught that we will be reunited with loved ones when we die and "pass on" as they say. Funny, as much as I despise the organized religions of the world, that is one tenet of faith that almost every one of them preaches that I firmly believe and agree with them on. As a matter of fact, let me go on record as stating that's probaly one of the extremely few things that I do agree with them on, that we all will be reunited with those who have gone on before us. Perhaps some of what I will say will give comfort to others, perhaps even give them a teeny tiny upper edge up on that fear of the unknown that many of us have in common with each other on this issue. Either way, I'm not talking about this to scare the shit out of anyone, nor to frustrate and/or anger anyone, it's just how I feel. 

Before I jump here, one more reminder - remember, any concept of Heaven that you may or may not have, is totally yours, it's totally up to you what you believe in, I'm not trying to sway any of you either way. Also, no, I am definitely NOT attempting to begin my very own religious sect by sharing what I believe in with others, I personally feel that things like death and salvation, as well as for those who dont believe in either, are strictly an issue of personal interpretation. Be that as it may, I'd like to take the liberty of classifying what I am about to share with you merely as "the Rules & Codes of the Universe Concept" because quite frankly, I dont know what to call it but it's there, it's definitely there.

When we die, most people believe one or two of the following concepts - we die and that's it, there's nothing there, we go unconscious, we fall into a deep sleep and there is nada. Or, folks believe that when we die there is this giant brilliant light, we step into it and there are tons of angels and half-naked cherubs flying around with trumpets and everyone is getting on down to some Heavenly grooves going on. It's your choice on whether or not you wanna believe either but I personally think the former is a bunch of hogwash and as for the latter, I do believe it's possible but not totally because there are no half-naked, let alone fully clothed, cherubs in Heaven. Angels are not born like us humans, they dont start out as babies and then grow-up like we humans do, they are created as adults, they may even look like either gender but in reality they are totally genderless. Their voices are unlike anything one has ever heard before - almost like the perfect melding of male and female mixed together. I know, I know, "Spice, you're beginning to scare us, we need to get you some help Honey..."

The concept of instantly after you die, you merely cross-over and start walking around and going about whatever business you have is true, for the most part, but that's not always the case. Sometimes when a person dies an extremely horrible death, it can literally be deep enough to puncture the soul and/or psyche and in those cases a person will usually go into a deep, trance-like state of sleep for a good 3 or 4 days, before regaining full consciousness, as well as realizing exactly what the hell happened to them. That's why when people say "Oh, I hope I die in my sleep, I hope I simply go to sleep some night and never wake up." Nah, you dont really wanna wish for that because of two reasons. First, no one knows if dying in your sleep is totally pain-free to begin with - even forensic experts who study facial expressions and body contortions of those who have passed away in their sleep don't know that. Second, when you die in your sleep and then wake up, 9 times outta 10 it takes you much longer to realize that you're dead and no pun intended, but whatta rude awakening that would be. Most people know when they've died but to not know, to not realize it right away and to wander all over the place wondering what the fuck just happened, how unsettling would that be, know what I mean?

Rule of thumb is that after dying, for the most part you usually have about 3 to 4 days to wander around and check things out before you do the full crossover to the other side. During this time period you will definitely be greeted by someone you know and they will relay to you what you need to do. Usually you're not expected to take care of any "unfinished business" during this period, that generally happens after you've done the full cross-over. However, the general requirement of this time period is that you will attend your own funeral and burial services because you're not allowed to cross-over until you have come to 100% full acceptance of your death. Dont get me wrong, it's not that you have to go through any certain steps to get to Heaven, it's not complicated like that at all, it's just that there are do's and dont's that you will be made aware of. This 3 to 4 day period is also the time period in which you will be allowed to comfort those you have left behind and to check on them and provide them with as much spiritual comfort as you can regarding the circumstances. Personally, I think it'd be very interesting attending your own funeral and listening to what everyone has to say about you! Of course, the only bad thing about that is even if folks say unflattering  things about you, there isnt a damn thing you can do about it, you just have to listen to it and take it with a grain of salt. Either way, dont let anyone tell you otherwise, during this period you do indeed hear EVERYTHING that is said about you.

The Tunnel of Light concept....this is true, but how one approaches it after they have died can vary greatly. Some people are very catatonic or confused mentally when they die and that's normal, that's nothing to worry about but rule of thumb is this - when you see that light shining, focus on it, concentrate on it and head for it directly. If someone you know, or even an angel stops you on the way and wants to chat, that's okay but do not lose sight of that light. You shouldnt feel any pain, or any scared feelings whatsoever BUT by chance you do, then simply say a prayer, the same exact way you did when you were alive, and you will be fine. And that one-in-a-million chance - I say that because this very very rarely happens - you cross-over and no one is there, don't panic, just go towards the light but try to veer yourself more towards the right, okay? Nothing bad will happen to you per se if you veer towards the left but it's just a good precaution to not do so since that's the area where most of those who have to go in-vitro are situated and you don't wanna go there unless you are told to. Nine-and-a-half times out of ten, someone will be there to greet you so that you are not scared or bewildered by what just happened to you, usually it's a relative or a close friend and in most cases, you will see them at least a good 24 hours before its your time to cross-over. Special note on that though - just because you are visited by a decased loved one doesnt mean you're gonna die, not by any means, but chances are that if you and your medical team have definitely determined you are on your deathbed, your loved one(s) are there to give you comfort and assure you that it's gonna be okay so that you wont be afraid to die.

When do you become a ghost? Actually, you don't unless, of course, you decide that's what you wanna do. In most cases, you're simply a disembodied spirit, you can move around and talk and act just like you would in real life. The only time you become a ghost is when (and believe it or not, this does indeed happen) you cross-over and you refuse to cooperate with whoever your spirit guide is. You're totally capable of conscious thoughts and your decision-making faculties are still totally intact. My personal suggestion is to do exactly as you are instructed to do, but if you decide not to, well then, I hope you know what you are doing. Those who dont listen and decide to go off on their own are usually those who feel they need to stay on because of some injustice that was done to them, such as a murder or a very traumatic, violent death and they refuse to leave because they feel their lives were unjustly cut short. I'm not saying it's wrong for people to feel the way they do but when you die, your time here is over, there is nothing left to tend to unless you are spiritually directed to do so. And in some cases, some folks simply get lost on their way to the light, something emotional attracts their attention, they seek to find out what it is and they simply lose sight of the light. Don't get me wrong, this light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel thing is notta one-time occurrence - people do get more than one chance to walk into it but it's the time-frames that can either be short or extremely long. I think you gotta ask yourself this "Is it really worth staying on for? Don't I deserve the total peace that everyone else does, dont I deserve eternal relief from all the bullshit that I went through during my lifetime?" Personally, I think the answers to these questions are something that people should contend with before they die, not after. Having your affairs in order on a spiritual level is just as important as having everything in order on the physical level, such as pre-arranging your funeral and burial wishes, and stuff like that.

What happens once you step into the light? I don't know. One can speculate, form theories, trust their spiritual faith, the truth is I simply dont know. What do I think happens? Well, I'd like to believe that once you step into it, you are are basking in 100% blissful, pure happiness and you experience what is total peace and contentment. Complete happiness on the most unimaginable levels, that's what I hope it is. I cant speak for everyone out there but as much as I love life and will continue to rally for my continued longevity, my life hasn't always been easy, it sure would be nice to embrace all the good memories, let go of all the bad ones, and finally be free of pain and stress on every level possible. Spiritually and emotionally, that's probaly what Heaven means to me. Does that mean I am embracing death and I want to die? Are you fucken kidding me? If I ever fall down while walking down the street, there had better be at least a good 20 or more paramedics jumping up-n-down on my chest because I dont care what I go through, I love life and I wanna live it as fully and as for long as I possibly can. But you gotta keep in mind, I love life, even with all my diseases, I still love it, not everyone else feels that way. My overall take on it is this - I dont want to ever die but if I must, then I'll deal with it when the time comes because right now there simply is too much living to do.

I'm not going to go into whether or not I believe in God, the Devil and all that other pseudo-psycho organized religion crap which I loathe so fervently with my heart-n-soul, because when it really boils down to it, when it comes to death and dying, those types of things don't always touch on the spiritual experiences one encounters during that final process. If you feel they help you deal with the concept of death-n-dying and give you comfort, more power to you, I'm very glad for you. I don't have all the answers on this subject guys and that's actually okay because of the fact that I'm not here to give any out, I'm just here to share my thoughts and theories on the entire matter and as always, respect your right to evaluate and determine where you personally stand on the issue. I realize that some folks may think I'm a major crackpot for even writing this piece but as with any subject I see nothing irrational, let alone insane, about sharing thoughts and ideas with others. Regardless of what you think, it's always good to know where you stand on the serious issues in life such as this one and again, we all can claim that what we believe is the truth but none of us really ever ever knows until that time comes. So in the meantime, I suggest we all live life to the fullest and find as much happiness as we possibly can. Thank you for reading.

 

Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo

A Victory In Florida - Thursday, September 23, 2010

Yesterday the state of Florida repealed the ban on allowing gay & lesbian parents to adopt in that state and after reading several posts regarding that good news, it gave me the biggest smile I've had in a very long, long time. Granted, I'm sure that certain voting factions in that state, mainly the Biblethumpers and Rednecks, will do their damnest to get it put back in place; but, in the meantime, thank goodness, thank goodness for the LGBT community in that state and most of all, thank goodness for the children. In the last 20 years or so it has been proven time and time again via numerous psychological and psychiatric studies that a parent's sexual orientation does not have one single negative effect on the psychological growth and development of a child, regardless if the parental figures are biological, adoptive and/or foster parents. For anyone who loves children, or has always dreamed of being a parent, this is one victory that needs to be celebrated not just yesterday and today, but every day from here on out.

I realize that there are many of you out there in the LGBT community who have no desire to ever have children, or adopt, or be fosterparents and that's perfectly fine, everybody has the right to their feelings and reasonings on the matter and I can and do respect that. But in my opinion, this ruling is a very wonderful thing. There are many LGBT families with children sprouting up all over the planet and in almost every single case, people are realizing more and more that you don't have to be biologically related to a child to be their parent, nor to provide what children all over the world need in order to grow and keep their self-confidence nurtured in every way - a stable, consistent, emotionally supportive home environment. Raising kids is notta easy job, sometimes it makes parents, or those who care for children, wish that each one came with their own individual guidebook; but, teaching a child how to work to amount to something and watching them grow, well, that's something you just cant put a pricetag on. For all those who choose to be parents, I not only commend you, I envy you.

As long as I can remember I've always wanted to have my own kid, and I suppose had things turned out different in my life I woulda been a parent by now, but sometimes life doesnt turn out the way we expected or the way we'd like it to, so you just do your best with your other goals and be as happy as you can be. Dont get me wrong, there's nothing stating that even an Hiv'er cant be a great parent for they most certainly can and they most certainly are; but, with being in my current situation with barely making it and never knowing what's around the corner for me healthwise, I choose to keep that dream of mine on the backburner. After all, regardless of how much longer I live or not, currently I literally cannot afford to raise a child on my own; but, I will say this much - IF those new drug therapies regarding the cancer-fighting drugs do become a reality and a cure is FINALLY found, one of the first things I am gonna do is try to have my own child. I've wanted that since the day I graduated from high school. I guess that makes me an odd man out when it comes to most gay men of my age and/or generation but when you love kids as much as I do, and have always dreamed of being a parent, well it's just something that you know and feel in your heart to be true.

It's funny, I use to think - as most heterosexual women use to think decades ago - that I'd have to be married or involved in a long-term relationship in order to have a child, let alone raise a child, but now the possibilities and methods for us LGBT people having our very own children are endless. Plus I think I've grown up quite a bit in the last 25 years or so. Like alotta people I've come to realize that I dont need a long-term relationship to validate who I am as an individual; and, I also realize that I don't need someone else in my life in order to effectively raise a child and be an excellent parent. That kinda knowledge, that kinda self-confidence is something you have, or dont have, deep down in your soul. Now dont get me wrong, for yes, I do want to be in a long-term relationship and actually get married someday and hey, any parent out there will tell you that it's always easier raising a child with another person, especially with someone whom you truly love. All I'm saying is that unlike that starry-eyed kid I was upon my high school graduation in 1983, I no longer feel it's a prerequisite on becoming a good, effective parent. 

Dreams are never bad because they are something that never grows old, unlike everything else in our lives, except for the human spirit, they stay forever young. So I am now modifying my decades old dream of wanting to be a parent - IF they find a cure for AIDS before I turn 50, I'll be the first one in line to sign up for adoption and/or being a foster parent to a child - or maybe more than one, maybe 3 or 4? lol - because as long as I can take good care of myself and am able to afford it, I still wanna give it a try. It never hurts to reach for the stars, it never hurts to give it your best shot.

None of us truly knows what the future holds, and who knows, maybe someday I'll end up meeting a millionaire, having a whole household full of children, and experiencing a life I've only dreamed of having while listening to songs by Georgia Gibbs, Eartha Kitt and my beloved Ella Fitzgerald; but, with recently turning 45 not too long ago, I dont think it's realistic to hold my breath on that happening anytme soon guys! So in the meantime, I'll take my life one day at a time, living it to my best and fullest as I possibly can, as we all should do; and, I will continue to be happy for all the LGBT folks in Florida who can now adopt children if they so desire. To those people in particular, I'd like to say this - Congratulations! Enjoy every moment watching them grow, taking them to their first day of school, helping out with their school projects, baking treats for them on their birthdays, teaching them how to swim and how to ride a bike, worrying about them when they go out on their first date, holding them close when their hearts get broken, reminding them that they can and will succeed at their goals and most of all, being so proud of them for thanking you for being there and for loving them. The love and emotional contentment that will come from those experiences is something that will last beyond a lifetime. Cherish them, appreciate them and whatever you do, always, always celebrate them.

Oh, one other thing - one doesnt have to have a child in order to be an exceptional parent. There are many people all over the world, LGBT and non LGBT folks alike, who are some of the best parents in the world I have ever known. Some of my most favorite nieces and nephews happen to be from the animal world, and I love them just as dearly as I would love any niece or nephew, human or non-human. I hope you all feel the same way too, because not only is all life precious, all life deserves to be loved and celebrated. Thank you for reading.

 

Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo

A Little Writing Experiment - Tuesday, September 21, 2010

In one of the Communications courses I took in college many moons ago, I did an extra credit paper (no, notta goody two-shoes, I took my education seriously, as everyone should) based on a very unique writing exercise. My instructor for that particular course suggested that those of us who desired to become writers someday should do it every now-n-then just to keep our thought processes in our writing up to snuff, so to say. Quite frankly, I haven't done this in about a good 24 to 25 years, so I thought to myself "What the hell?" Plus since I will be autoposting this while here at my 2nd job, it's the perfect length piece to write this evening. P.S. I won't get in trouble, the younger employees beneath me (no pun intended!) are allowed to do their homework and/or reading whenever the evenings are slow, just as tonight is.

The exercise goes something like this - rather than write out paragraph after paragraph about one's subject material, take all the central key points and/or themes of your subject material, try to fit them neatly into one giant paragraph and see what happens. The trick of it all is that after doing so and submitting it to one's audience, those who read the piece will find it 100% totally ambigous; in other words, they won't be able to tell if it's fact or fiction, or in my own words, the truth or purely unadulterated bullshit. I aced this exercise many years ago but I don't know if I will tonight. Let's find out, shall we? Gawd, I hope this turns out right...lol. Okay, central key points and/or themes....here we go....

I have the crystal ball and a rare copy of the Seven Books of Moses. No, it's not the crystal ball of Kolmandar, that's not its source of origin. No, not the books of Moses the Catholics and Jews claim to have in safekeeping, this copy is the real McCoy, the one that those careless translators omitted in their texts and footnotes, at least in those translations from the year 1572 onward. Elise went to Europe in 1939 to retrieve them from the family clan that had protected those two items for an extremely long time, generation after generation. She got her hands on them before Hitler and his thugs could get them; but, he obviously wanted them very badly, otherwise he wouldnt have told his wolfpack commanders to locate and torpedo the ATHENIA. After her rescue, she took the next ship to America and placed the small leather sachtel she was rescued with in the upstairs attic at the old family homestead. That's where it remained until her death, until they were given to me. When my great-grandparents picked her up at the train that originated in Montreal, Canada, and asked her why she had very little luggage on her, her only response was "Oh well, one must travel lightly when swimming in the Atlantic Ocean this time of year!" That woman was my hero in every sense of the word.

Well, I think I did it. Of course, I wont really know until any of you, should you choose to do so, give me some feedback. When I write my pieces I like big, meaty paragraphs. Granted, I too dont like to read pieces that are "too long" either but I don't look at my writing in that context - I just figure I have a lot to share and I need the space for which to do it in. Regardless of your own sentiments on the matter, one thing is for sure, this baby is definitely one of my shorter pieces! Thanks for reading everyone.

Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo

A Little Writing Experiment - Tuesday, September 21, 2010

In one of the Communications courses I took in college many moons ago, I did an extra credit paper (no, notta goody two-shoes, I took my education seriously, as everyone should) based on a very unique writing exercise. My instructor for that particular course suggested that those of us who desired to become writers someday should do it every now-n-then just to keep our thought processes in our writing up to snuff, so to say. Quite frankly, I haven't done this in about a good 24 to 25 years, so I thought to myself "What the hell?" Plus since I will be autoposting this while here at my 2nd job, it's the perfect length piece to write this evening. P.S. I won't get in trouble, the younger employees beneath me (no pun intended!) are allowed to do their homework and/or reading whenever the evenings are slow, just as tonight is.

The exercise goes something like this - rather than write out paragraph after paragraph about one's subject material, take all the central key points and/or themes of your subject material, try to fit them neatly into one giant paragraph and see what happens. The trick of it all is that after doing so and submitting it to one's audience, those who read the piece will find it 100% totally ambigous; in other words, they won't be able to tell if it's fact or fiction, or in my own words, the truth or purely unadulterated bullshit. I aced this exercise many years ago but I don't know if I will tonight. Let's find out, shall we? Gawd, I hope this turns out right...lol. Okay, central key points and/or themes....here we go....

I have the crystal ball and a rare copy of the Seven Books of Moses. No, it's not the crystal ball of Kolmandar, that's not its source of origin. No, not the books of Moses the Catholics and Jews claim to have in safekeeping, this copy is the real McCoy, the one that those careless translators omitted in their texts and footnotes, at least in those translations from the year 1572 onward. Elise went to Europe in 1939 to retrieve them from the family clan that had protected those two items for an extremely long time, generation after generation. She got her hands on them before Hitler and his thugs could get them; but, he obviously wanted them very badly, otherwise he wouldnt have told his wolfpack commanders to locate and torpedo the ATHENIA. After her rescue, she took the next ship to America and placed the small leather sachtel she was rescued with in the upstairs attic at the old family homestead. That's where it remained until her death, until they were given to me. When my great-grandparents picked her up at the train that originated in Montreal, Canada, and asked her why she had very little luggage on her, her only response was "Oh well, one must travel lightly when swimming in the Atlantic Ocean this time of year!" That woman was my hero in every sense of the word.

Well, I think I did it. Of course, I wont really know until any of you, should you choose to do so, give me some feedback. When I write my pieces I like big, meaty paragraphs. Granted, I too dont like to read pieces that are "too long" either but I don't look at my writing in that context - I just figure I have a lot to share and I need the space for which to do it in. Regardless of your own sentiments on the matter, one thing is for sure, this baby is definitely one of my shorter pieces! Thanks for reading everyone.

Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo

A Cult of the Damned, Almost - Sunday, September 19, 2010

Once again the tale of another religious cult gone awry is permeating our tv airwaves via all the major networks with the usual scenario in place - a group of individuals seeking spiritual salvation decide to follow some whacked out, charismatic person who promises them - as well as their children - the opportunity to have an in-person meeting with Jesus Christ himself, to be followed by them all "going home" with their Heavenly Father, accompanied, of course, by great eternal happiness and joy like they have never ever experienced before. Naturally, with promises like that who wouldnt hesitate to take their own lives, as well as that of their children? After all, the concept of killing oneself and one's family is an extremely minute price to pay for eternal bliss, right? Thank God, thank the Creator, thank the Universe, thank whatever spiritual deity you worship that that entire group of 13 people, including 8 children between the ages of 3 and 17, were found unharmed, unmaimed today in the California desert. These occurrences of people being that void of mental stability and spiritual faith to be desperate enough to follow some nasty lunatic bitch from Hell who apparently is not aware of the difference between Heaven and a hole in the ground must be stopped. If anyone, whether it's a family of 4 or a family of 400, is that psychologically unbalanced enough to even think of attempting sucha ludicrous act, then they need to get psychiatric counseling, not spiritual affirming with a major lunatic like Reyna Chicas.

I am livid, just totally livid! Time and time again the leaders of these absurd religious cults feel that the only way to make it to Heaven is by giving oneself and their followers an extra push in the alleged right direction by mass suicide. Sure, the followers of that particular cult will totally deny sucha act was about to take place because they were discovered, and by that happening, the lives of innocent children have been spared from being claimed all in the name of Jesus Christ. It's times like these that make me ashamed to even consider myself a Christian in any way, shape or form. Granted, I'm not considered one by any of the organized religions of the world anyways because I'm gay but you get the point. When I think of all the millions of innocent lives that have been lost over the centuries in the name of Jesus Christ, it infuriates me so much that if I could I'd be hurling out brimstone left-n-right myself! This insanity has to stop, not just for all people, but especially for the children who in most cases are not intelligent enough to know that the route their parents are choosing for them is the road to mental obliteration and eventually sheer madness.

So now that all those people are safe, everything will be okay, right? Anyone who believes that is committing a crime as heinous as what Reyna Chicas almost succeeded in doing in the California desert. What needs to be done now is this - the State of California should be required by law to remove those children from their families and place them either with relatives or in decent foster-care homes so that their safety is ensured and so that the danger of them losing their lives is removed - permanently. Any parent who puts the overall well-being and safety of their children on the line because of some religious lunatic who instructs them to do so needs to have their hands cuffed, thrown into the slammer and the fucken key thrown away for good! When you put your very own children in danger's way, you forfeit your rights to be a parent, as well as your rights to be called human beings. And on top of all this, here's the real kicker - charismatic sickos like Chicas and her mentally incoherent followers are religious hypocrites because if they were to truly adhere to what their Bibles state, they'd realize immediately that not only is it a "sin" to commit suicide, but God and God only has the jurisdiction to take human lives, and only Him/Her alone, no one else. What the hell were they thinking? Did the unbearable, hot desert heat melt their braincells, causing them to actually believe that once they offed themselves and their children and crossed over that Jesus Christ himself would be standing there with open arms and saying "Yo, welcome to Eternity, Homies, y'all are kinda early but hey, what the Hell? S'lright, s'lright!" Whatta shame, sucha filthy shame.

In my opinion, I think the State of California needs to get off its lazy, bureaucratic, red-taped ass and do more than slap the hands of Reyna Chitas - they outta lock up that pitiful excuse of a human being and put her away for a long, long time. Better yet, put her away in a state-based mental institution for about a good 4 to 5 years stint, if that doesnt give her the supreme attitude adjustment she so justly deserves, nothing will. The children, above all, those children need to be removed from their homes and kept safe-n-sound away from their biological parents, who in turn should not be allowed to even come near those children until they are at least 21 years of age. I'm serious, I dont care how cruel that may sound to any of you out there, we are talking about the safety and welfare of innocent children, children who might not be alive this evening as I write these words had they and their families not been discovered. I really dont like having to refer back to a book that I disagree with on many counts, but in the actual Bible itself it is stated more than once how much Jesus Christ loves children and damned be any mortal that brings harm to them. Let me tell you, talk about religious hypocrisy, Chicas and every one of her adult followers not only deserve spiritual damanation for their intentions, but condemnation on every level that is humanly and earthly possible.

Oh I can already tell you what will happen next. In the upcoming weeks, Reyna Chicas will be interviewed by Fox, ABC and if she's really available, even CNN, about how nothing of the sort was ever going to happen to herself, or her followers and their children. They were just going out to the desert to pray and be at one with nature at the same time. My ass they were embarking on a Yule-Gibbons-like sojourn out in the desert. That nasty little curdmudgeon may have fooled her followers but she is not going to fool the rest of the world, especially me. When anyone puts the lives of innocent children at stake, I am one watchdog you do not want to cross paths with, both figuratively and literally. I'm actually glad that Reyna Chicas and I do not know each other personally, for I'd tell her how thankful she should be that I can barely afford a pot to piss in at this current time in my life, cause if I had the money, I'd personally fly out to L.A. this very moment to not only make certain that she would be prosecuted to the full extent of the law for intent to commit murder, but I'd also make her life a living hell for all eternity by going through every legal process humanly possible to make certain that that worthless excuse of the human race would pay dearly for what she attempted to do.

It's funny, earlier this evening before I sat down to write this piece a friend whom I spoke on the phone with, a wonderful lady from down South (White Wiccan is her religion) said to me "You better be careful, those Salvadoran folks are known to practice voodoo, just as potent as the folks here in Bayou country do." I, of course, listened to her heeding for she truly does have others best interests at heart, and I reminded her that curses do not exist, they are mere verbal incantations to strike fear in others; but, if they indeed are real, they are automatically made null-n-void when they run up against anyone who is pure of heart. In other words, there could be about 13 or more VooDoo priests and/or priestesses throwing their strongest and toughest directly at me, whether Salvadoran or not, and they wouldnt stand a chance against someone who would smash through a friggin mountain or two just to protect the safety and welfare of innocent children. Hey, bring it on and they would see firsthand for themselves that Hell isnt the only thing that hath fury. Tonight before I go to bed I am gonna say a special prayer of protection, love and compassion for those 8 children who are alive tonight, as well as for the countless other children out there who may still be in danger because of their parents irrational, delusional, mental instabilities, as well as the pieces of walking shit that foster such lunacy. May those 8 children and millions like them all over the world be safe-n-sound tonight and every night. Thank you for reading.

Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo

A Cult of the Damned, Almost - Sunday, September 19, 2010

Once again the tale of another religious cult gone awry is permeating our tv airwaves via all the major networks with the usual scenario in place - a group of individuals seeking spiritual salvation decide to follow some whacked out, charismatic person who promises them - as well as their children - the opportunity to have an in-person meeting with Jesus Christ himself, to be followed by them all "going home" with their Heavenly Father, accompanied, of course, by great eternal happiness and joy like they have never ever experienced before. Naturally, with promises like that who wouldnt hesitate to take their own lives, as well as that of their children? After all, the concept of killing oneself and one's family is an extremely minute price to pay for eternal bliss, right? Thank God, thank the Creator, thank the Universe, thank whatever spiritual deity you worship that that entire group of 13 people, including 8 children between the ages of 3 and 17, were found unharmed, unmaimed today in the California desert. These occurrences of people being that void of mental stability and spiritual faith to be desperate enough to follow some nasty lunatic bitch from Hell who apparently is not aware of the difference between Heaven and a hole in the ground must be stopped. If anyone, whether it's a family of 4 or a family of 400, is that psychologically unbalanced enough to even think of attempting sucha ludicrous act, then they need to get psychiatric counseling, not spiritual affirming with a major lunatic like Reyna Chicas.

I am livid, just totally livid! Time and time again the leaders of these absurd religious cults feel that the only way to make it to Heaven is by giving oneself and their followers an extra push in the alleged right direction by mass suicide. Sure, the followers of that particular cult will totally deny sucha act was about to take place because they were discovered, and by that happening, the lives of innocent children have been spared from being claimed all in the name of Jesus Christ. It's times like these that make me ashamed to even consider myself a Christian in any way, shape or form. Granted, I'm not considered one by any of the organized religions of the world anyways because I'm gay but you get the point. When I think of all the millions of innocent lives that have been lost over the centuries in the name of Jesus Christ, it infuriates me so much that if I could I'd be hurling out brimstone left-n-right myself! This insanity has to stop, not just for all people, but especially for the children who in most cases are not intelligent enough to know that the route their parents are choosing for them is the road to mental obliteration and eventually sheer madness.

So now that all those people are safe, everything will be okay, right? Anyone who believes that is committing a crime as heinous as what Reyna Chicas almost succeeded in doing in the California desert. What needs to be done now is this - the State of California should be required by law to remove those children from their families and place them either with relatives or in decent foster-care homes so that their safety is ensured and so that the danger of them losing their lives is removed - permanently. Any parent who puts the overall well-being and safety of their children on the line because of some religious lunatic who instructs them to do so needs to have their hands cuffed, thrown into the slammer and the fucken key thrown away for good! When you put your very own children in danger's way, you forfeit your rights to be a parent, as well as your rights to be called human beings. And on top of all this, here's the real kicker - charismatic sickos like Chicas and her mentally incoherent followers are religious hypocrites because if they were to truly adhere to what their Bibles state, they'd realize immediately that not only is it a "sin" to commit suicide, but God and God only has the jurisdiction to take human lives, and only Him/Her alone, no one else. What the hell were they thinking? Did the unbearable, hot desert heat melt their braincells, causing them to actually believe that once they offed themselves and their children and crossed over that Jesus Christ himself would be standing there with open arms and saying "Yo, welcome to Eternity, Homies, y'all are kinda early but hey, what the Hell? S'lright, s'lright!" Whatta shame, sucha filthy shame.

In my opinion, I think the State of California needs to get off its lazy, bureaucratic, red-taped ass and do more than slap the hands of Reyna Chitas - they outta lock up that pitiful excuse of a human being and put her away for a long, long time. Better yet, put her away in a state-based mental institution for about a good 4 to 5 years stint, if that doesnt give her the supreme attitude adjustment she so justly deserves, nothing will. The children, above all, those children need to be removed from their homes and kept safe-n-sound away from their biological parents, who in turn should not be allowed to even come near those children until they are at least 21 years of age. I'm serious, I dont care how cruel that may sound to any of you out there, we are talking about the safety and welfare of innocent children, children who might not be alive this evening as I write these words had they and their families not been discovered. I really dont like having to refer back to a book that I disagree with on many counts, but in the actual Bible itself it is stated more than once how much Jesus Christ loves children and damned be any mortal that brings harm to them. Let me tell you, talk about religious hypocrisy, Chicas and every one of her adult followers not only deserve spiritual damanation for their intentions, but condemnation on every level that is humanly and earthly possible.

Oh I can already tell you what will happen next. In the upcoming weeks, Reyna Chicas will be interviewed by Fox, ABC and if she's really available, even CNN, about how nothing of the sort was ever going to happen to herself, or her followers and their children. They were just going out to the desert to pray and be at one with nature at the same time. My ass they were embarking on a Yule-Gibbons-like sojourn out in the desert. That nasty little curdmudgeon may have fooled her followers but she is not going to fool the rest of the world, especially me. When anyone puts the lives of innocent children at stake, I am one watchdog you do not want to cross paths with, both figuratively and literally. I'm actually glad that Reyna Chicas and I do not know each other personally, for I'd tell her how thankful she should be that I can barely afford a pot to piss in at this current time in my life, cause if I had the money, I'd personally fly out to L.A. this very moment to not only make certain that she would be prosecuted to the full extent of the law for intent to commit murder, but I'd also make her life a living hell for all eternity by going through every legal process humanly possible to make certain that that worthless excuse of the human race would pay dearly for what she attempted to do.

It's funny, earlier this evening before I sat down to write this piece a friend whom I spoke on the phone with, a wonderful lady from down South (White Wiccan is her religion) said to me "You better be careful, those Salvadoran folks are known to practice voodoo, just as potent as the folks here in Bayou country do." I, of course, listened to her heeding for she truly does have others best interests at heart, and I reminded her that curses do not exist, they are mere verbal incantations to strike fear in others; but, if they indeed are real, they are automatically made null-n-void when they run up against anyone who is pure of heart. In other words, there could be about 13 or more VooDoo priests and/or priestesses throwing their strongest and toughest directly at me, whether Salvadoran or not, and they wouldnt stand a chance against someone who would smash through a friggin mountain or two just to protect the safety and welfare of innocent children. Hey, bring it on and they would see firsthand for themselves that Hell isnt the only thing that hath fury. Tonight before I go to bed I am gonna say a special prayer of protection, love and compassion for those 8 children who are alive tonight, as well as for the countless other children out there who may still be in danger because of their parents irrational, delusional, mental instabilities, as well as the pieces of walking shit that foster such lunacy. May those 8 children and millions like them all over the world be safe-n-sound tonight and every night. Thank you for reading.

Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo

Silvertongues - Saturday, September 18, 2010

No, this is not going to be about how I like getting it on with guys who have Sterling Silver jewelery pierced in their tongues. Actually, come to think of it, I've never been with anyone who has a pierced tongue but perhaps I will check that out sometime and get back to you on that. This will be my 2nd and final (at least I assume at this point in time) entry in what I will forever remember as my "Psychic Series" of this blog. Right now on a lot of the cable stations you can catch a film called "Inkheart" (2008), starring Brendan Fraser, Eliza Bennet, Helen Mirren, Jim Broadbent and a cast of others, which is a fantasy/action film about "silvertongues" - people who by reading any book can bring the characters into real life. It's a great film and please, almost anything with Brendan Fraser in it is worth watching - oh, if it were biologically possible, I would just love to have a child with that man! In addition to this film being based on fantasy/fiction, the way the term "silvertongue" is illustrated and used in the film is also treated in fantastical proportions, for what is fiction regarding that term and what is fact are two totally different things.

When it comes to the psychic realm, most people are unaware that there is indeed a form of psychic ability called "silvertongue" but for some reason unbeknownst to me, it has yet to cross over from the world of fantasy to the world of reality. I truly dont know why there is very little available on this topic out there and what miffs me even more about it is that you very rarely hear much, if any at all, discussion of it in the psychic circles that currently exist. Perhaps most psychics refuse to address the subject because they feel it is a threat to their own credibility in the public eye, I don't know, but being psychic is like anything else - doesnt matter what people think of you, you either are or you aren't, notta big leap of faith there, ya know?

Unlike in the film "Inkheart", in which the silvertongues are people who read fairytales and fictional stories, and by doing so bring the characters to life, real-life silvertongues abilities are very different from that. The best way to describe them is that they are a form of psychic-medium who have the ability to act as a channel, or a bridge if you will, between themselves and the people whom they read about; but, not in fictional literature but rather factual literature, such as history books, journals, diaries and anything that is written about real life people having real life experiences. Once they start reading from any of the aforementioned examples, what happens is, for lack of a better description, figurative sparks on their end and on the other end, the book or literature they are reading, start to ignite and it's like a portal of energy opens up between them and whoever they are reading about it, and before they know it, a spiritual manisfestation begins to take place. Unlike in the film, real-life silvertongues do not have to read aloud for this to happen, they can be reading silently to themselves, but either way it does happen, whether instantaneously or hours later after they have gone to sleep and are in their dream state. This, of course, may be the reason why those who are silvertongues will only read works of a fictional nature when going through periods of high anxiety or stress during their lives, because having to contend with such manisfestations on top of the daily rigors of life can sometimes be too much for even the strongest and staunchest of personalities.

Probaly their greatest fear, or greatest source of anxiety, is when silvertongues find themselves reading about people whom they in no way, shape or form wish to channel via their abilities. I mean after all, imagine having this gift and pursuing an education in History and channeling such notorious historical figures such as Atilla the Hun, the Red Baron, or even some famed miliary leader from one of the World Wars - how unnerving could that scenario be, ya know? Naturally, they do need to be very selective and extremely careful on what they read because with that type of gift, there is no telling what the possibilities could be. Try to imagine, let's say, that one would channel a military leader from World War II - can any of us even begin to imagine what that would be like? Really, how would you tell someone "Look Sparky, I appreciate meeting you but your time has come and gone, you need to go back there, just return yourself please, thank you!" For me personally, that particular scenario is totally unfathomable.

When most of us think of people with psychic abilities, we think of people who can communicate with the spirits of the deceased, clairvoyants who can channel those who have gone on before us, clairvisuals who can see and communicate with the spirits as if they were walking around like the rest of us, and those who are clairaudient, people who can actually hear what those spirits are saying. But even though silvertongues are practically unheard of when compared side-by-side with examples of other psychic peoples, like the others they too have a rightful place in the psychic realm. The main role of your average psychic is to provide guidance as well as spiritual comfort to those who are seeking it, ya know, helping others along the way. Regardless of what psychic abilities a person has, every psychic out there has a purpose and place like everyone else on this planet. With that being said, I think the problem most people, most psychics, have with silvertongues is that they just dont know where or how to include them in their world, they dont know how to classify them in such terms as "Okay, this is what you are and you belong in this area or that catergory.." and so on and so on. Sadly, in many cases, silvertongues for the most part are considered a myth, a legend, even by their psychic kinfolk. Maybe that's one of the reasons why outside of that film, you rarely hear anyone talk about them, let alone acknowledge their existence. Lord knows I sure can identify with them on that angle, seeking validation of one's person. I can truly emphasize with how they must feel.

From what I know about the psychic realm, it must be rough for silvertongues feeling that they don't have a definitive place beside their psychic brethern and quite frankly, that's gotta suck. Take a moment and try to put yourself in their shoes - it's one thing for someone who has psychic abilities to encounter the constant irrational skepticisms and judgements from society in general, but then to not feel included amongst your own peer group? Doesnt that remind you of how so many of us in the LGBT community have experienced the same identical experiences and varying degrees of animosity? Like the rest of us, I think all the silvertongues want is what we all want - to be recognized and respected for who and what we are, and most of all, accepted. I don't think we are asking or demanding too much from the outside world on that count, and I dont think the silvertongues are asking too much from the world they are suppose to be a part of either.

In wrapping up on this tiny series as I would like to call it, I'd just like to say that we who are part of the LGBT community, as well as those outside of our community and the rest of the world, need to respect and accept the fact that psychic people are a part of our world and they are here to stay, just as the rest of us are, as it should be. Yes, there are good, honest psychic people and bad, dishonest psychic people out there but that is not any different from there being good and bad members of any other group of peoples who live on this planet. The rules regarding them are the same rules for the rest of us - embrace the good, try to avoid the bad. Yeah, it's really that simple. Thank you for reading

Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo

The Psychic Realm - Saturday, September 18, 2010

This is yet another one of those pieces that I was unsure of how to title it because muchh of the Psychic phenomena we come into contact with nowadays is also labeled "paranormal," and although it is true that these two topics do overlap each other in numerous ways, mainly by being lumped into the generalization of "the Unexplained," I think they are quite different mainly because the term "psychic" is more emphasized as an individual who posesses psychic abilities, whereas the "paranormal" covers those who have paranormal experiences, as well as happenings and events of that nature. Regardless of how you choose to use either term, this piece is mainly going to entail my thoughts and feelings on the entire subject.

For starters, this centuries-old, unadulterated bullshit that those with psychic abilities are "of the Devil" and are pre-damned (like who the hell isnt these days, ya know? I mean, c'mon...) has got to stop. There is nothing evil, let alone Satanic, about people who are psychic. They have been given a very special gift that the majority of us have not had bestowed upon us, and I personally feel their gift needs to be respected as such - a blessing. There isn't a Bible-thumper out there who wont climb on any given soapbox and claim that the Bible states that people are to avoid "false prophets" and "cast them out away from your midst!" However, thanks to the many organized religions of the world, many of those who flock to them fail to realize that they are being extremely misled due to a major misinterpretation in regards to all of this, as well as their own inabillity to use the brains they were born with. You know how people are always saying this-or-that psychic is a phoney, a fake? Well folks, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out that's exactly what the Bible is saying - beware of fake or phoney "prophets," i.e., psychics. It's not saying to beware of all psychics and anyone blessed with a spiritual gift of any nature, just avoid the bad ones, the racketeers. Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending the Bible per-se, for there is much within it that I vehemently disagree with; however, here is yet another prime example of people using the Bible to justify oppression and contempt for their fellow human beings. And although this piece is not going to be on religious discourse, I must say this - that's not what it was originally intended for. Once again, it's mankind who has created all these warped perceptions and heinous misinterpretations.

But's it not just the Bible-thumpers and denizens of the world religions that are enemies of the psychic world, there are equally as many non-religious, allegedly intellectual people who also claim that the psychic world is a farce, who believe that it is all fake and nothing more. I not only disagree with such irrational logic, but I'm here to tell those people that they are wrong. When things cannot be explained in a rational, logical manner, or even based on scientific research, they are automatically thrown into the world of "the Unexplained." Let me tell you something. There are many things, many events, many strings of experiences that leap way beyond the world of the coincidental and defy all rational truths whatsoever. Does that mean we should automatically consider them of the paranormal or spiritual nature? Absolutely not, but it also doesnt mean that we should be closeminded like an ostrich with our head stuck in the sand either. I cannot tell you how many people I have come across over the years who have heard about or viewed this-or-that newspaper article or television show about the psychic world and have said "Well, that's a bunch of bullshit, that's not true!" Oh really? Then what's your explanation for it? Nine times outta ten that very same person's response to that question will be "Well, I don't know." Then when you take it even one step further and say to them "Well then, doesnt that mean it's unexplainable?" most of them will say "Well, yeah, I guess so" to which I have always said "Then you really dont know, do you?" And that's my point right there - don't write off things just because you yourself cant explain them or dont understand them but someone else can.

Or, is it because deep down, people fear them? After all, we all know what happens when mankind fears anything - first the fear, then the hate and then eventually the eradication of the things they fear. It's the law of the jungle, or so they say; however, I think we need to hold a new tribunal council on that one. People need to learn to be more open-minded. It's that simple. And if someone who has been blessed with psychic abilities does have the answer, my goodness, what is the big deal anyways? Do you know how many crime cases involving murdered people, as well as kidnapped and lost children, across this great country of ours have been solved, due to the contributions of a psychic individual? A lot, a whole lot. Yes, it's true, just like the rest of us, no psychic is perfect but damn, if they used their abilities strictly for the sole purposes of saving lives and protecting others from harm, that one reason alone would be enough for me to start a "Celebrate Your Local Psychic Day" let me tell you.

I won't claim the following is true of every psychic out there - except for the real ones - but did you know that the majority of psychics cannot use their gifts for themselves? It's true. Next time you're in the vicinity of a legitimate psychic, whose gifts have been thoroughly documented, ask them the following question "How do you know what's going to happen in YOUR future?" Some of you may be surprised by their response, some not - "Oh that's easy. I go to my own psychic." Why? Because the gift of psychic abilities is a gift that you share with others, it is a gift of the most divine nature, you're literally not allowed to use it on yourself, or for yourself. Whether you believe in psychics or not, I ask you, how could a gift as unselfish and beautiful as that be negated with such labels as "evil," "Satanic" or even, for those religious followers out there, "not of God?" If you ask me, how could such a gift NOT come from a higher power? Sorta makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Should you find yourself checking out this subject further, or the gazillion off-shoots of it, depending on what book or periodical you come across you will discover that technically speaking, every human being on this planet is born with psychic abilities, it's just that most people either ignore their gift, passing off their experiences as mere coincidence or fate, or simply are closeminded to it because of what religion and/or society has taught them about the subject. By the same token, I also know that there are many out there who are simply much more blessed with it and are much more advanced regardiing their abilities than any of us could ever possibly fathom. There are a lot of skeptics out there who will never open their minds to what it really means to be psychic, a few so skeptical that they advised me to not even entertain the notion of writing this very piece but as some of you already know, if I feel the need to stand up and speak about a subject, whether popular opinion agrees with it or not, I'll be the first one to step up on the 'ole soapbox. But for me it goes way beyond that. Whenever innocent people are being mistreated, I always do my best to step up to the plate on their behalf. Psychics are no exception to my rule guys. I truly wish there was something I could say or do to make people realize that psychics are real people, that they are for real and that with the exception of their special gifts, they are no different from you and I. When the world finally realizes and accepts that, I hope I will be alive when that day comes. Then again, I know humankind, so I wont hold my breath on that one.

This piece definitely didnt turn out the way I had expected it to. There's much more I want to say on this subject but I find myself having the need to end this portion of what I have said thus far right here. Perhaps in some ways I should've just written one single sentence - "Psychics are not freaks, they are people too" and called it good but in reviewing what I've written so far, I think all of it needed to be said. None of us, not even the greatest of psychics, has all the answers and solutions to both the problems and directon in which the Universe is headed, but for myself, I actually feel somewhat comforted thinking that someone else might provide a small clue or possibly even a real answer to any of the dilemmas that plague our world. I've always said, more than once, that we really are here to help each other along the road of life and if there are certain people out there who have a better compass reading than ourselves, what's the harm is listening to what they have to say? We may or may not agree with their responses, but isnt treating others the way we'd like to be treated one of the golden rules anyways? Thanks for keeping an open mind and thanks for reading.

Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo