Based on my own personal experiences thus far, the only questionable or "bad" thing about laying down the foundation for a possible interpersonal relationship with someone via the internet is that unlike in real life, it's virtually impossible to totally read a person because you never get to see their facial expressions and body language. Anyone could very well misrepresent themselves to you, as well as downright lie to you, and you'd never ever know the difference. Granted, there are things such as Skype and the like but even those, at best, appear in slower motion than real life and as we all know, capturing the look of someone elses eyes alone can literally provide you with a crystal-clear look into their very soul. Without being able to perform this one crucial key factor, I'd venture to say that that is the only frustrating, impairing, aspect of getting to know a person online.
Can this "problem" ever be elimanated between the two parties involved? Sure. But only if they both care enough about each other to wanna work through it. But only if they both can rise above the shallow, pseudo-egotistically enhanced waters of the world-wide-web and realize that two can indeed become one, just as long as both parties involved stay focused on each other. Any relationship that has begun on the internet which has not met the aforementioned criteria has never amounted to much of anything. Maybe a friendship here-n-there, but only if one is lucky. Very lucky.
I felt compelled to broach this subject tonight because I'm getting fed up with people using my anonymity as HivSpice as an excuse to monkeywrench the getting-to-know-you process itself, especially when those very same people are familiar with my real identity as well. I'm equally disdained by such people not being able to psychologically handle the reality that HivSpice and the real me are the same identical person. I've had it with people saying "Well, I'm not gonna say this-or-that, nor post this-or-that on HivSpice's walls cause I dont want the whole world to know my business!" Look, I'm not even famous by any means, I'm just some little guy trying to make a positive difference (no pun intended) in the lives of my fellow Hiv'ers and as many other people as I can reach out to - and that is all. There's really not a whole lot more to HivSpice than that. Really.
I've already been through this a hundred times previously in this blog, but let's getta few things cleared up right here-n-now. HivSpice, at best, is merely a small extension of myself as an individual. He and I are the same person. I am not some pseudo-psychiatric dual-identity gone awry. At worst, HivSpice is a small thin veneer that exists overneath myself, simply a harmless, non-threatening, anonymous drape. How anyone could exhibit jealousy towards an anonymous identity is beyond my scope of basic human comprehension. That has got to be one of the poorest, phoniest, and most immature cop-outs of an excuse I have ever heard in my entire friggin life. Gotta little bit of insecurity going on there, heh Sparky? Now if I was schizophrenic or perhaps even bi-polar and listened to Suzanne Vega songs all day-n-night, then I'd tell y'all to be genuinely concerned, but damn, people really do need to come to reality on this one.
In the future, should anyone attempt to use the jealousy factor as a form of rationale in nixing the getting-to-know-you-better process with me, or should such people claim "Well, this relationship cant work because you're HivSpice and that's all there is to it!" here's my response to that - I cant become involved with someone who'd rather scapegoat an anonymous identity versus being a real man and accepting the responsibility for ones own actions.
I suppose what really takes the cake on all of this is when you discover that the other person who is allegedly enjoying getting to know you better is actually courting one or more other people on the side because they "cant handle the pressures of you being HivSpice." Excuse me, but what kind of whacked-out rationale is that? Personally, I think those people who attempt to scapegoat any problems onto HivSpice are simply doing so out of convenience. I'm proud, not ashamed, to stand behind this name and do what I can to help in the battle against Hiv/AIDS and nothing in the world is ever gonna change that. Sure, someday I will kick the bucket, we all will; but, until then I dont plan on going anywhere anytime soon so I suggest that everyone out there who assumes otherwise to pull their heads out of their arses and breath, just breath.
There's something I'd like to suggest to the guys who have attempted to get to know me more personally in the past coupla years to seriously think about. Have any one of you ever once taken into consideration what others must think of you when they see you making advances towards me, and then you making extremely similiar advances towards one or more other parties? When I have asked people that question pointblank here's the response I've gotten "Nobody pays attention to that, they only pay attention to what appears on HivSpice's wall." Look, if any of you out there are that ignorant enough to think that foolishly, then you're right, there is no place for you in my life because no matter how desperately hard you attempt to cover this-or-that up, I'm not the only one seeing it. So are your friends. So are my friends. So is anyone else who can even peek slightly onto our walls. It's one thing for a person to make a fool of themselves, but to make a fool outta me too? I dont think so.
People online, in general, are not as knieve as some folks assume they are. They too can see when a person doesnt have the most sincerest of intentions towards me. They too can see when someone figuratively plants their lips firmly on my ass one second, and then in the next second figuratively sticks their tongue up someone else's ass. Newsflash - I dont like double-standards and I think it's pretty fucked up that there have been people out there who literally expect me to allow them to mistreat me in this manner, yet I'm suppose to be so self-conscious and so apologetic because those very same people actually feel threatened by HivSpice? I'm suppose to turn a blind eye to the fact that some people out there are simply cheats, chronic liars and flagrant schmendriks? Give me a friggin break.
Here's the deal - I keep everything real, just as I do in my real life. If anyone cant handle that, then they need to be honest with themselves, and with me, for anything less than that is totally non-negotiable with me. If a person cant handle my less-than-perfect life, nor the ups-n-downs of my everyday existence, nor my existence as HivSpice on the internet, then they need to be a man about it and speak up, with all the cards on the table and totally bullshit-free.
I'm really glad that I wrote this piece because I really needed to cleanse and free myself of some extremely heinous bullshit I've been encountering within the last 48 hours. This has been downright theraputic for me. I suppose some people out there might think "Jeepers, Spice, are you saying you would choose a web-name over the future possibility of a relationship??" No, I'm not saying that at all. But what I am saying is that I think what's happening is that once people get to know the real me and they gradually realize my life is no different from their own - there is no fame, no glitter, no wealthy fortune - I think they feel threatened by the fact that I am indeed what I say I am - the real thing - and, that ends up scaring the living shit out of them. They cant handle it so they fabricate excuses to discredit and discount me, as well as invent reasons to toss me to the side. Well, no more. For now on, I'm tossing right back. Be forewarned. Thank you for reading.
I'm not planning on writing a "Christmas Dedication" series in this blog, yet since Christmas is my ultimate favorite holiday, and even though it is a chagrin to the majority of the people I know online, I'm gonna write about the holiday season whenever the fancy strikes me. In fact, I wasnt gonna write about anything "Christmasy" until the 24th or so, but for some reason tonight it feels right.
Looking back on my Christmas Dedication piece of 2010, I can actually see how much more I've grown as a person and a writer when comparing that blog post to my more recent blog entries. I still cant get over how nervous I was when I wrote that piece back then! I kept thinking to myself "What if he does indeed figure out it's about him? Will it make him smile, will it touch him, or will he be a complete and utter asshole about it??" Now when I look back on that piece, I can actually laugh about it because boy, did I have that guy pegged wrong. Embarassingly so, I cant believe I ever thought I could even stand a chance with someone like him. It goes to show you, or at least it showed me, that sometimes writing something anonymous like that and then sitting back and watching the other person's actions can really shed a bright, clear light on who they really are as people. And the funny thing is, is that I betcha he never ever really read it. Oh well, in his galaxy I'm quite certain he has much more worthwhile accolades to bask in.
But I was right on one thing about him - like alotta people who appear to clamor around me from time to time, he did get bored with HivSpice and moved on a bit. Oh, we're still friends and if he ever needs an ear-n-a-shoulder, I'll do my best to be there for him; but, we're not as close as we use to be and that's okay, I dont hold it against him or anybody when it comes to that kinda stuff, that's just the way life goes sometimes. But, I just think it's kinda funny how into me he was for awhile there and how fairly quickly the faerie dust in his eyes wore off. But I'll always care about him, as a friend and a human being, because he is an extraordinary man.
On the flip side of all this, an extremely flattering flip side I might add, there is a very special friend out there in the internet universe who privately commented to me on more than one occassion that he wished it was him that I wrote that piece about it. Well, there's something that I need to say to him about all of that right now, even though I know he hasnt read this blog in the last 6 months or so, and that is this...
I love you for who you are. There is in no way, shape or form, any legitimate way whatsoever of comparing how I feel about you with what I wrote to that guy in my Christmas Dedication piece of December 24th, 2010, just no friggin way. All that was was me taking a chance on doing a writing experiment, of seeing what effect, if any, an anonymous love-letter dedication would have on someone whom I thought might get the picture. But, he never got the picture. And even if he had gotten it, guess what? Knowing what I know about him now, it wouldve never worked out, I woulda been setting my heart up for a full and total disaster just waiting to happen and omg, isnt a broken heart at Christmas-time one of the most saddest scenarioes any of us could ever entertain about ourselves? I mean, not that any of us needs a long-term, romantic relationship to validate ourselves and our life's happiness, but contending with being single and alone is a helluva lot more pleasent than being brokenhearted, crying in ones' egg-nog and overindulging oneself on fancy Christmas cookies from the North Shore of Boston, dontcha think?
As a matter of fact, both reflecting back on writing that piece and even moreso, getting to know you better, has taught me that it truly is best to simply take a chance and let people know how you feel about them, versus writing a bubble-gummy schoolboy anonymous love-letter dedication to someone who never even had an inkling it was about them in the first place to begin with. In addition, I also have to extend a special note of thanks to my friend Ramone's mom who compassionately warned me that it's always best to take the high road on such affairs of the heart.
And I wanna tell you something else too. Not now, not ever in the present, nor the future, will another human being ever be able to tap directly into my soul the way you have with me. Now I realize that as close as we've always been, we both have drifted apart off-n-on since knowing each other and that's okay, that too is sometimes just the way life goes, even with all the warm, deep feelings and mutual respect we have for each other. But please, open up your ears and heart full-force right now and listen to this loudly and clearly - you never need to do anything to impress me because you've already done that by just being yourself. That is something that it doesnt matter who either of us ends up being with for the remainder of our lives, it is a bond that only you and I will ever share. If you ask me, I think that's pretty damn special and I'm not gonna question it, analyze it or any of that crazy shit that the majority of human beings do when they stumble upon a unique kind of love. I'm just gonna look at it, admonish it as much and whenever I can, and keeping going forward appreciating what I have with you.
Gee, I guess I have written a new Christmas dedication piece after all. But that's okay because when you're writing something which your thoughts and emotions flow so naturally and freely into the words onto the screen in front of you, well hell, it just doesnt get anymore truer than that folks. Plus the guy whom I wrote this about deserves it so very much. He has created some very beautiful things for me online in the past year or so, things that no one I know has ever once thought of doing for me - ever; and, he deserves so much praise, credit and reverence for his extremely thoughtful and unselfish ways. I dunno what his future holds for him anymore than I know what mine holds for me, but either way, I'll always love him for the special bond we have. And in an ironic kinda way, he'll never ever have to wish that I had written a special dedication just for him because quite frankly, I just did. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to everyone out there and as always, thank you so much for reading.
This probaly isnt the best subject in the world for me to approach during the holiday season, a season which originally was founded on the premises of good will towards all mankind; but, I'm choosing to write about it anyways because it is for the good of a particular sector of humankind which I feel is neglected, a faction in our society which I feel is constantly being underrated and swept off to the side of the frontlines - the average American kid.
For a coupla decades now I've heard over and over again how the Japanese and Chinese kids are so much more smarter and educationally advanced than the children of the United States and perhaps in alotta ways they are; but, there's a flip side to that generalized assumption that most people are totally unaware of, unless you yourself have personally interacted and/or worked with children from other nations as I have been fortunate enough to have done previously in my career. 
First, just because the Japanese and Chinese kids allegedly have more intelligence than American kids doesnt automatically mean they are better than them, nor that their lives are a bed of roses. Google this topic anytime you please and you will quickly discover that both Japanese and Chinese kids have a much higher rate of suicides and psychological issues because of all the pressures that are put on them on a daily basis from their schools, their parents and more or less their home countries. Every child out there in the world should be encouraged to do their best towards any academic endeavors, as well as non-academic endeavors too; but, that's as far as it should go. To demand otherwise isnt simply pushing them to try harder, it's forcing unrealistic demands on their overall beings and in the process damages them as people. I think that type of psychological abuse should be banned in every country in this world. It's okay to encourage kids to succeed in school, but goddamn, also allow them to grow and develop as invidivuals outside of the world of academia. Allow them to become the full people they are, not the full people we want them to be.
Second, perhaps a good majority of those Japanese and Chinese kids are indeed little Albert Einsteins and Madame Curries in-the-making; but, when it comes to their social manners - how do I put this? - they suck. They suck big-time. Now I know that there are alotta folks out there who claim that there are American kids out there who are nasty little barbarians when it comes to social graces but trust me, when it comes to being severely impaired in that arena, there are alotta foreign kids who have the market cornered on that one.
In my professional experiences, I've interacted more with Chinese kids than the Japanese, so I can only share my reactions based on those specific incidences. I'm talking about those Chinese kids who come from extremely wealthy families over in China who decide to enroll their children in many of the private schools that we have here in the United States. Money speaks and that's their choice, but isnt it both ironic and extremely hypocritical that if Chinese kids are so much more intelligent than our own American kids, then why the hell would their parents wanna send them to private schools here in America when they could be taking all their boo-koo big bucks and building such private schools over there in China? Kinda makes ya wonder, doesnt it?
When dining with these rich Chinese kids, at first you'll notice they try to use the fork-knives-n-spoons system we Americans use but give them less than 10 minutes and soon you'll see them helping themselves to 2nds and 3rds using their own forks. Now some of you out there may think "What's the big deal? We're talking about kids here. No one has ever taught them any different." Bullshit. Their parents, the hoyty-toyty private schools they go to and any American families they've interacted with have fully taught them quite well how to correctly use eating utsensils, it's just that for some reason those rich Chinese kids think that they dont have to abide by the same standards as the rest of us. Well, just like learning to speak the language when you come to another country, I personally feel those children, whom are guests in the United States, need to behave just like the rest of us do because that's exactly what they expect of us when we visit their countries.
Machismo. For years I've heard sooooooo many people piss-n-moan about how decadent the machismo in both the Latino and Italian cultures is but hell, the Chinese version of that makes those two look like a temporary teenage growing phase. The Chinese males, both children and adult, very rarily close the doors behind themselves when entering or exiting because they simply feel they shouldnt have to, that other people, especially women, are the ones who should be doing that. Whatta loada crap that is and I think the ways in which Chinese women are regarded and abused is both deplorable and unacceptable human behavior. Regardless of cultural differences or not, when you're here in America, you need to treat women - and everyone else for that matter - with respect and proper social etiquette.
When factoring in the aformentioned facets together with the untrue, generalized statement that Chinese, Japanese, etc.,etc., kids are smarter than our own American children are, that really hocks me off. We've got all these kids coming from different countries to getta great education here in America only to be told that they are smarter than American kids - now I ask you, isnt that just a tad bit contradictory? True, there are alotta private schools here in the States that are exemplary but point blank instead of allowing all these children from foreign lands to take advantage of those schools, our country should be making a helluva lot more effort to ensure that American children, whether rich or poor, get the same opportunities that all those ill-mannered foreign kids get. 
I realize alotta economic and political strategists will argue that all that foreign money that is coming into those private schools in turn helps out the American economy but that's a load of bullshit too. All that foreign money does is educate those foreign kids, then they go back to their homelands and create new opportunities for their people, which then in turn takes even more and more jobs away from the American people. It's a very serious mess. Naturally, the best place to start addressing this problem is for this country to stop its continous shortchanging of American children. For all those believers in the American dream out there, I gotta newsflash for you, by not allowing our own American children to have the same academic opportunities that are graciously extended to all those foreign children, you're all in essence helping to kill that dream. I mean, it's like, how fucked up is that?
And as for all those parents who go to places like China, Japan, Africa, India and so on and so on and adopt babies and children, while alotta American kids are living on the streets, selling their bodies and souls just to survive, ask any of them about it directly (oh yes I have, yes indeedy) and do you know what their excuse is? "Well, there's too much red tape in the American system, it's simply too expensive to adopt American children." Really? Then get off your friggin lazy asses and do something about it, make it so that those American children can be helped and taken care of. Make it so that none of them are living shamefully on the streets, while kids from China, Japan and other countries are living high off the American hog. I know, I need to save all of this for another post but hopefully y'all get the point.
Look, I realize the issues I discussed in this piece cant be solved overnight but I really do think that we as a nation really do need to make some major changes in our educational systems so that our American children are no longer automatically discounted and swept under the rug. I think both our country's private and public educational instutions need to start putting American kids first, because this inferiority complex bullshit that statisticians, the media and people in general have pounded into the psyche of American children is not only demeaning and degrading but it's totally unacceptable behavior. It's not fair. I dunno what happened to the United States believing in its own children but we need to get back to that and much more sooner versus later, especially if we want those children to flourish and prosper like we all were told about in that long-ago American dream. Thank you for reading.
I'm more than certain that some of my internet friends out there are already silently laughing to themselves regarding the title of this piece because for the last several months, their humorous quips about internet stalkers have brought us all some mighty good laughs; but, as much as I may have been laughing along with everyone else, what I've said previously about internet stalkers still stands true today - you dont know what its like until its actually happening to you. Dealing with a stalker is like dealing with really bad sex - you never know when its going to end but when it's finally over, whatta welcomed relief it is.
I've written about the subject of internet stalkers previosuly in this blog as well as in the Notes section of my Facebook account. What has prompted me to write it about once more in this blog? It brings me great pleasure to finally be able to state the following - my internet stalker has come full circle. Finally. That person has finally accomplished what they set out to do against me and now that they've gotten what they wanted from me, they've finally stopped. There is nothing more they can take from me which they havent already managed to deceitfully obtain. Oh and in case you're wondering how I know this, at some point this past week my stalker did something to me which I never ever thought would happen but was elated when I discovered it - they defriended me! Halleleujah, lemme tell you.
What this full-circle concept all basically means is that my stalker has completed the final part of the circle that allows them to obtain full closure from contending with their current prey and starting their search for a new one. Once an internet stalker gets what they want, they literally cut you out of their lives and act as if you've never existed. They literally banish you from their lives as if you're the one who actually needs to be punished for all the wrongs they've committed against you. I know, that's pretty fucked up, wouldnt you say? They wont do it immediately, usually they take at least a month or two off but my particular stalker is one helluva psychotic individual, so it wouldnt surprise me in the least if they've already begun the search for their next opportunity. If you dont wanna take my word for it on all of what is written in this paragraph, as well as the rest of this piece, please, by all means, consult with your local psychology major and/or your local psychiatry intern and they will tell you the same exact things I have, only using bigger, fancier words, of course. 
Some people actually think "Oh, there's no such thing as stalkers, that's up in people's heads, people only are taken advantage of as much as they allow others to do so." That may apply to friendships and romantic relationships but it most certainly does not apply to the stalker/stalkee relationship. I stood my ground - more than once - with my stalker, mentioned it to mutual friends, some of whom brought it to my attention first, but to no avail. 
My stalker managed to infiltrate every single aspect of my internet existence with relentless fervor. For the past several months that nasty, deceitful motherfucker "liked" and commented on every single fucken thing on my Facebook wall and when they became bored with that, they started doing it on my friends' walls too. No matter what time of day or night I signed on online, till the time I turned in for the evening, that person was figuratively on top of me every single second. Then they began to insulate themselves with some of my closer friends, though I am thankful that more than several of those friends caught on to my stalkers actions and defriended/blocked them almost immediately - which is definitely what I shoulda done in the first place. But I gotta admit, my stalker successfully blindsided alotta my friends, but they didnt stop there. Somehow, someway, they managed to manipulate their way into becoming adminstrator of every single Facebook Hiv/AIDS group which I am a member of. The ironic thing about all of that is that they arent even an Hiv'er to begin with, which makes no difference at all, but still, it's the principle of it all. I still dont know how they managed to pull that one off, but my stalker was either damn near spectucular in their deceptions, or the folks who run those groups arent the swiftest folks around. Who knows, maybe it was a combination of both.
In regards to the aforementioned, I suppose one of the most ironic and saddest aspects of all of this is that the majority of the friends whom my stalker and I share will never see my stalker show their true colors simply because they've gotten what they wanted. Of course, because they insulated theirself so well with my friends, I have no doubt in my mind that several of those mutual friends may still, after all that has happened to me, exclaim "Well, we've never had any problems with that person. We've even chatted with them on the phone and found them perfecftly delightful!" Take my word for it, a stalker's mental illness can fool people just as easily on the phone and in person as they can over the internet, there's not much of a leap of faith there folks. My stalker now has no reason to further impress and mislead anybody else. They are truly sated - at least for now. Eventually, my stalker will become restless again and require their usual psychological-vampiric fix that keeps them driven and once that happens, they will go after my friends like a runaway train, and we're not talking about some Bon Jovi song here either folks.
Do you know what really burns me up the most about my stalker? That they piggybacked off of HivSpice. That nasty insufferable wretch of a person has their friend circles, their group affiliations and everything else internet-related not because of who they are but because of who I am. Can anyone out there even begin to comprehend how infuriating that can be when someone does that to you? It is unspeakable in feelings and emotions, and it is unacceptable when it comes to human behavior. Talk about identity-theft, I cannot stress enough that my stalker did not get to their current state of world-wide-web bliss because of their own merits, but because of HivSpice. In addition, the most mentally disturbing thing about all of this is that my stalker knew right from the get-go what they wanted from me. Totally premeditated, if you will.
Why write about all these things now and therefore give my stalker all the credit they so unjustifiably yearn for? I'm writing about all of these things right now because I want my stalker to know I'm not as dumb as they originally perceived me to be and I have a few things to say directly to them. I know you're pretty happy and content on the nice job you did on me but I think you need to consider yourself VERY lucky that I'm a sane, rational person because one of these days, you just may end up pulling this kinda of warped pseudo-psychotic bullshit on someone who isnt going to be as nice and levelheaded as I am. Now I realize that perhaps somewhere in your sick, twisted mind, you may get a huge adrenalin rush from doing this kind of thing to people but someday you just may end up doing this to the wrong person at the wrong time, and what the hell are you gonna do then? Obviously you have a major residual OCD problem which you need to address immediately via some majorly intense psychotherapy, before you harm anymore people, yourself included.
Is there any way to avoid stalkers on the internet? That's a pretty tough question to answer because when it comes to internet stalkers, there isnt a whole helluva lot you can do because there are no rules or regulations on what denotes a stalker or what doesnt. As a matter of fact, the internet is the perfect breeding ground for stalkers because it allows them to mask themselves, close their accounts and reopen new accounts under totally different masks without ever suffering any consequences for their actions whatsoever. The offensively pathetic thing about all of this is there isnt a goddam thing the stalkees can do about it. In the majority of internet stalking cases, the stalker gets off scott-free but hopefully someday something will be done to change that horrible reality.
I realize that with having an anonymous identity such as HivSpice there are still some folks out there who dont view me as a real person but they are very mistaken because I am real and I have a life too, just like everyone else. However, unlike my stalker, I have never used my name to manipulate or mislead others about myself in any way, shape or form. Nor have I used it for negative gain and I dont intend to ever do so either. I did not create HivSpice as a means for others to take advantage of me, nor to use me as a public doormat. If anybody wants to be my friend, great; but, please, don't try to become me, don't try to manipulate my friends with two-faced bullshit and don't try to pretend you're a noble person filled with great strength of character just to insulate your own existence with mine. Be yourself and getta life but dont you dare ever shit on me because I dont deserve that, nobody deserves that. Thank you for reading.
It's been a little under 2 months since Stuart Walker, 28, a gay man who worked as an assistant hotel manager at the Royal Hotel in Cumnock, Ayrshire, Scotland, was found brutally murdered in an industrial area of the town where he lived. The horrible way in which Stuart Walker died will forever be etched in my mind. A victim of an obvious hate crime, he was savagely beaten, set on fire and then left to die. I dont know which angers me more - the terrible way in which Stuart Walker died or the fact that he died just because of who he was, that he died in the year 2011 because someone could not deal with the fact that he was gay. But what truly angers me the most is that Stuart Walker is not alive today and in a day-n-age when great strides are being made for the equal rights of every member of the GLBTQ community worldwide, it just blows my mind that such heinous barbarism still exists.
They caught the person who did this to him, Ryan Esquierdo, 18, also of Cumnock, Ayrshire, and he has been charged with Stuart Walker's murder so it is my sincere hope that justice will prevail; however, anyone who is a surviving family member and/or friend of anyone who has been murdered also knows that regardless if justice is obtained, it still doesnt bring back the loved one they truly miss with all their hearts and souls. 
My heart goes out to Stuart Walker's entire family and all his many friends. Whenver I think of someone dying during this time of year I automatically think "Geesh, I dont know how his/her family can have much of a Christmas or a Happy Holiday Season with this being the first major holiday without them." Lord knows I realize how tough that can be to deal with from my own personal experiences; but, then again, for all any of us knows, those folks who are no longer with us coulda been fed up with the crazy holiday season that many of us get frustrated with. Still, I hope that Stuart's family realizes in their heart of hearts that nothing can ever take away the happy memories of him, that he truly will live on in their hearts and their thoughts.
Truthfully, I've always wanted to visit Scotland and not just because of the history, the literature, the culture and all that good stuff; but, because of my ships. Some of the world's most famous and most prolific liners that ever existed were built and launched by the famous shipyards of Scotland, noteworthy names such as John Brown & Company of Clydebank, who built such liners as the QUEEN MARY (1936-67) and her sister-ship the QUEEN ELIZABETH (1940-1972), the QUEEN ELIZABETH 2 (1969-2008), Denny Shipbuilders of Dunbarton, Scott Shipbuilders of Greenock, Lithgow's of Port Glasgow and the list goes on and on.
Coincidentally, one of my ultimate favorite liners of all time, the Canadian Pacific liner EMPRESS of BRITAIN (1931-40) was also built by John Brown & Company of Clydebank, so as you can see, I'm not just crazy about my ships, I'm fascinated by how they were built, where they were built and what it was like to live back then.
Yes, someday I will go visit Scotland because up until the time of Stuart Walker's murder, I've never heard a whole lotta bad things about it as a country. With the exception of the Pan Am Flight 103 tragedy which took place in Lockerbie, Scotland back in 1988, the only other bad thing I've ever heard about it is that Edinburgh, it's capital, is quite a huge university town where a whole lotta majorly loud, noisey merrymaking goes on there on quite a regular basis, yet that is true about alotta college towns the world over. Aside from those things, I'm quite certain that Scotland is just like America and the rest of the world, it has it's good points and its not-so-good points.
Even though I will never have the pleasure and honor of knowing Stuart Walker, with him working in the hospitality industry and in spite of what happened to him, I'd like to think he'd want me and anyone else out there who wants to visit his country to feel most welcomed to do so. 
However, when I do eventually make it over there to Scotland, I not only plan to pay my respects to Stuart Walker's gravesite, I also plan to check in with the local GLBTQ community and/or it's organizations and see for myself exactly what the attitudes and perceptions towards gay people are really like over there. If they register even the least bit unacceptable as they do in certain instances here in the States, I'm gonna say what I can say about it and do what I can do about it to make it better for GLBTQ folks over there. Granted, I'm just one person and I really have no idea what the Scottish would think of some loud-mouthed, opinionated gay man such as myself making any kind of stance over there, but I at least gotta stand up and try and you wanna know why? Because to do otherwise would be like saying it was okay that Stuart Walker was murdered because he was a gay man and sorry, it most certainly was not okay. It never will be. You'll never be forgotten Stuart Walker and I extend my most heartfelt sympathies to your family and your friends. Thank you for reading.