Something which use to happen to me every now-n-then when I first opened my Facebook account happened to me again last night, only with a bit more resonance than usual, particularly because of the abrupt rudeness of it all. I know that most people would shrug it off and go onward with life as I use to do and as I will do, but like I said, this time it actually pissed me off.
I received a friend request from a person whom I had 6 mutual friends with. I never heard of the guy before but I usually dont accept new friends unless we indeed do have some friends in common. Granted, that doesnt always mean the person sending the request is an honest, legitimate individual but I always do try to give people the benefit of the doubt. And, since he knew of me via our mutual friends, I naturally assumed that he knew at least a bit of the story behind this name. Apparently I was wrong.
We actually chatted for a few minutes last night on Facebook chat when alla sudden he asked me if I had any photos of myself. I politely told him no, that this name is my anonymous identity, just as I have written about on my Facebook profile page as well as my Posterous profile page on this blog. Instantly the conversation stopped and I couldnt figure out why. So I went to my inbox and I received a message from him that not only still repeats itself in my mind, but every time I reread it, it literally makes my blood boil.
It reads as follows - "Weird and sorta..........sorry have to delete and block." Excuse me? Naturally I thought it was some kinda joke so I wrote the person back and said "But I didnt do anything wrong, how could I have offended you?" Of course, the guy never received my question because I had obviously already been blocked, no two ways about it. Hey, this kinda stuff happens in all kinds of scenarioes online all the time but I think the thing that frustrated me the most about it is that the individual automatically shut me out without allowing me to make an intelligent response. He took away my right to fairly and justly respond to an offense which came from his direction, a reaction on his part which I in no way precipitated.
Am I gonna start crying and throw a temper tantrum over all this? Absolutely not, plus, I dont throw tantrums though I have been known to cause other people to throw them - or so I've been told! lol Seriously though, I thought to myself afterwards "Omg, this guy didnt even allow me the right to defend myself. Whatta fucken asshole!" And it's true, what he exhibited was extremely immature behavior which no adult of any age should be doing.
The ironic thing about it all is this, and in a way, I cant help but chuckle about it - oh, just a tiny bit. Those mutual friends he and I share? They dont know it, and apparently neither did he, but I'm friends with half of them under my real identity. In fact, had the individual bothered to speak further with me and get to know me better, he may have actually had the opportunity to see who the real me is. Obviously he is one of those types of people who believes it's best to judge others FIRST before getting to know them. Since that appears to be the case, I'm actually glad he deleted and blocked me because frankly, I just dont need people like that in my life. Nobody needs people like that in their lives.
Look everyone, I'm not the first person in the world to have more than one identity online and I know for a fact I certainly wont be the last. It's like with everything else in life, it depends on how you use it. Yes, I do use HivSpice as a mask to protect my real identity but even more so, I use this name to help others and to educate people about Hiv/AIDS. I always have and I always will and yes, it is that simple. I have never used this name for negative purposes or for inappropriate solicitations of any kind, and I never will because that's just not what I'm all about.
Now I realize that I dont need to re-explain all of this to all of you out there, let alone defend myself, but I think it needed to be stated again. Am I at all upset with themutual friends that me and my latest "blocker" share? Heavens no; but, for future reference, if any of you out there have friends who wish to friend me and you somehow know about it before I do, please, would you let those friends of yours know that I have no intention whatsoever of revealing my true identity to them personally and that if that is a prerequisite of friendship, they need to forget about me? Thanks, I truly appreciate that.
Oh and one more thing before I wrap this baby up and bring it in for a landing. Everything we say and/or do in life is because of choices. Some people may choose to accept the realities which are HivSpice and some may not; however, I do wanna ask another favor pertaining to that not just for myself but for everyone out there.Before you write off a person, whether it be online or in real life, would you at least take the time to get to know them, perhaps even have just a few conversations with them, before you choose to condemn and banish them from your life? Cause you'd be pretty damn surprised how much you can learn about a person as well as how much you may very well have in common with them if you would just take the time to talk with them. Thank you for reading.
P.S. Should the individual referred to in this piece figure out that it is about him, I just wanna say one more thing to him - dont sweat it Sweethaht, some of my closest friends come from your home state so the withdrawal of your friendship is of no consequential loss to me. And if you get fired up about anything I've written here, you can always grab a bag of marshmellows, some chocolate bars and some graham crackers. Bon Appetit!
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