In a way that title is a bit of a misnomer because when it comes to living with any kind of sexually-transmitted disease (or any disease in general for that matter) I dont think it's something you can ever get final closure from because you live with it every day; however, how you choose to approach it emotionally and mentally, well then yes, in those ways you can indeed obtain final closure. And that's exactly what I did with my Genital Herpes yesterday morning. Finally. Finally I can let loose of any and all remaining mental demons that have been attached to that entire scenario. For once and for all.
A few days before Hurricane Irene hit New Haven, I actually gave their local health department a phonecall and spoke with one of their health counselors there and told the entire story of how it came to be that I contracted the Gential Herpes and asked them, after all this time, was there anything else I could do regarding the situation? They told me that I could come over to their STD clinic there, get re-tested and then speak with a social worker on what, if any action, I could take afterwards.
But before they even started examining me (by the way, local public health departments really are much more private, as well as respectful of their patients' privacy, than the media and people in general give them credit for) I had an extremely enlightening conversation with one of the clinic's doctor-n-nurse teams and told them exactly why I wanted to get re-tested - not outta spite for the individual who infected me but because I merely wanted to prevent him from infecting others. Regardless of my logical reasoning and good intentions, they set the story straight with me on whatta person can or cant do when they are infected with something such as Genital Herpes.
Bottom line, it is illegal for any health department official, any doctor, and or/any nurse to disclose the results of anyone's medical tests for whatever reason, with the exceptions being IF the disease itself is life-threatening or in circumstances where there are actual laws on the books regarding certain diseases; and, even under those two exceptions, it's a very very fine line. There are no laws whatsoever regarding the transmission of Genital Herpes, Oral Herpes and/or any kind of Herpes that exists on this planet. Sure, I coulda told them who the guy was who infected me but there's no way they could go after him and say "Well, you knowingly infected this person so we have to test you and you have to be punished!" Now I already knew that it definitely doesnt work that way but I was hoping against all odds that there was something that could be done. Well, there isnt.
So aside from taking my medications for the Genital Herpes as well as faithfully disclosing my Gential Herpes status to anyone whom I chose to become intimate with, which I've always done with my Hiv+ status anyways, I need to let go of the rest of this and just go on with my life. Yes, it was wrong that he wasnt honest enough with me to disclose what he had with me butcha know, I guess this is one of those times where you just have to accept things for what they are and file the rest of it into the circular chickenshit file that we all are blessed with when we are born into this lifetime.
Just as with being Hiv+ I will not ever stop talking about Genital Herpes; but, for my own sake, I'm gonna try to leave the personal side of it outta future discussions regarding the subject because quite frankly, going down that road too regularly is not only harmful towards myself, but there really is no point in it, there's nothing to accomplish by doing so. So remember, no matter what you do or who you do it with, even if the other person appears to be telling the truth and even if they appear to be the cleanest person on the planet, don't you dare take their word for it. Respect your own judgement enough to realize that safety first is one standard you should never under any circumstaces lower, not even once. Trust me, you'll never regret doing so, not ever. Thank you for reading.
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