When I got back to my flat after physical therapy today there was a message from my Grandma in Michigan on my machine so I called her back and we had a really nice talk. We discussed the usual stuff like how we both were doing, the weather, how her beloved Detroit Tigers are having a good season thus far (!); and, then we talked about something that literally broke my heart and reduced me to tears.
She told me the story of a 4 year old little boy in the Flint, Michigan area who died in April of this year (from the conversation I gathered the court proceedings are still in progress) because he accidentally peed his pants while having breakfast so his mother's boyfriend literally beat the shit out of him and literally tortured the little kid to death. They rushed him into the Hurley Medical Center in Flint and I believe he died a day or so later after being on life support. His name was Dominick Calhoun and all you have to do is Google his name to get the full story on what happened to him. It's very difficult for me to write about this because when I think of the monsters out there that harm children and think it's okay to do that, I wanna track down every single one of them down and destroy them with my own two hands, and as I am bashing their heads into a brick wall I wanna say to them "There motherfucker, how does that feel?? Did you think how that innocent child felt when you were beating the living crap out of him/her??" Violence for violence? No, anyone who loves children will tell you that that is justice for sheer insanity.
This isn't the only child abuse horror story to come out of Michigan these past several months. The others my Grandma mentioned were one where a grandmother actually sold her 6 year old grand-daughter into prostitution so she could support her drug habit. Yet another true story was of how a young 19 year old nursing student's water broke and the baby was born alright but something was wrong with it, so when she couldn't take care of it herself, she let the baby die and then threw it into a grocery store dumpster.
Michigan isnt the only state where these hideous crimes against babies and children (as well as animals) take place; but, it sure has had a bumper crop of these types of crimes this past year. It beyond sickens me. This type of crime and the type of psychologically aberrant behavior that sets it off needs to stop. These are inexcusable actions that every state in this country, not just Michigan, needs to monitor and enact legislature to get it to stop. Because no child, even Dominick Calhoun, should ever ever have to die for being a child; no child should even have to entertain one, tiny shread of the fear that little Dominick lived with up until the time he was attacked and murdered.
Oh, I agree with a lot of you - "Well the goverment isn't gonna do a damn thing about it, it'll be just like the stalking laws, the law won't step in till someone is half-way dead or nearly dead before they do anything about it." Well, then, I guess we as the little guys need to get off our asses and do something about it then, don't we?
Now I know there are a lot of you out there who think 'Well it doesn't concern me directly, so I don't need to do anything about it" or "Well, it's better to not get involved." I guess that's your choice. And if that's how you feel, please, do us both a favor and stop reading this blog, not just right now, but for good. Because this is one of those rare exceptions in our lives where you cannot in good moral conscience stand by and do nothing at all. I've said it before over the years and I will say it again - whether it be a man, woman or child, you cannot stand by and just watch people drown in both danger and horror and not do anything about it. On that note, to those that are still reading this, let's get a few things straight here.
First, and foremost, if you notice, or even slightly suspect that any child whom lives in your immediate neighborhood or in the businesses and places where you frequent appears to be in any type of physical or mental danger, you need to contact both your local social services organization and your local authorities (or better yet, your state police). What if you're wrong? Oh my God, it's a chance worth taking dammit. We're talking about children, innocent lives, little people who have never had the chance to grow and live fairly full lives like the rest of us. We are all here today, we have both lived and survived our lives, shouldn't they too have both the opportunity and basic human right to do that as well?
Still don't wanna get involved? Then do it this way - go to Walgreen's or CVS, pick up a 5 dollar phonecard, go to the payphone outside of the store and call from there - whatever you do, just do something about it, okay? And that one in a million chance that your suspicions are wrong, at least you should be able to look in your bathroom mirror before you go to bed that night and say to yourself proudly "Hey, I may have been wrong but at least I was thinking of someone other than myself, and I did try to make a difference for something good." If for some reason you still don't feel good, look at it this way - you still have the left-over minutes on your phonecard, right? Well, throw it in your wallet or your purse and use it next time your car breaks down and your cell phone battery dies, it's that simple.
Second, whether you are a friend or family member of someone whom you suspect is physically and/or mentally abusing their children, DO NOT let outer appearances fool you. Do not let the fact that the house is spotless and the fridge and pantries are overstocked with goodies fool you for one second into believeing that all is safe and well in La-De-Dah Land. Why? Because you don't know who's cleaning that house into a shinier-than-a-brand-new-sequin appearance, nor do you know if those children are being fed properly. There are many things in life that we adults take for granted, many "should-I-or-shouldn't-I?" scenarioes but this should not be one of them.
And it doesn't matter who you are, what your health status is, how much you have in life or don't have in life, this is one of those issues that applies to each and every one of us. In addition, for those of us who love and adore animals, such as I do, the same rules apply. If you suspect that someone is physically and/or mentally abusing their pets (don't you dare laugh, animals have both feelings and psyches too) then you need to get out the phonecard that I suggested you purchase and call your local chapter of PETA and/or local animal shelters for guidance, as well as report them to your local and/or state police.
Third, and final, something crucially important. If you as a parent are experiencing any type of mental problems and are fearful of harming your child(ren) then the FIRST PRIORITY on your mind, IF you truly love your children as so many of your contemporaries have stated on many-a-witness stand, is to get your child(ren) to safety. I mean it. It doesn't matter if it's a family member, a friend or even a local shelter for abused/battered women and children, get your child(ren) to safety FIRST and then get yourself some help. The only explanation you need to give to whomever you go to for help is this - "Sparky, I'm having a lot of problems right now and I want the kids to be safe while I get help. Could they crash at your place for a week or two till I get some of this sorted out? Here's some grocery money." Yep, it's that simple. If you don't wanna go to a big fancy government agency, then grab the Yellow Pages and look for therapists who specialize in both Individual and what they call "Family Systems Specialist" therapy - that way you can get help for yourself and help for your family so that you and your children can be reunited.
Abused children, if they somehow survive it all, have a slightly different mindset than the rest of us. What goes through their little minds when they sense something terrible is about to happen? When the bedroom light is flicked on between 2 and 4 a.m. in the morning they don't say to themselves "What's the matter? Is everything okay? Is there a storm coming?" Yes, there's a storm coming alright. Rather, they say to themselves "Oh God am I gonna make it through this or will this be the night I get to see what angels look like?" And if they are lucky, and fortunate enough, some do survive. When they're older they get help to try and figure out how all the pieces of the puzzle fit together and if they are really, really lucky, they realize it wasn't their fault and they go onward to leading full, normal live. There are many kinds of heroes out in the world and the people who survive those childhood horrors deserve to be considered just that. Heroes. And, Survivors.
In closing this piece, I dedicate it to little Dominick Calhoun who will never get the chance to grow and experience the fun of winning his first baseball game, the thrill of going on a roller coaster ride and tearing into a giant bag of cotton candy, or the right to do what so many others take for granted - to breathe and live life. I'm just one person, I can't change the entire world but you have my word Dominick that I personally will do whatever I can to help prevent what happened to you from happening to any other child on this planet. Thank you for reading.
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