With the Gulf of Mexico oilspill still being battled on both the containment and clean-up fronts, I was equally horrified when I learned this past week (via a good friend's posting) about another oilspill battle being fought in, of all places, the state of Michigan. Apparently what has happened is this past Monday there was a giant rupture in an oil pipeline in the vicinity of Battle Creek, Michigan, which ended up dumping over 800,000 gallons of oil into the Kalamazoo River, which in turn empties into Lake Michigan. When I saw the photos of this man-made disaster it just really hit home for me not just because I know the state quite well from visiting my family's relatives who have lived there over the years but also because of all the Great Lakes, my personal favorite has always been Lake Michigan. Each of the Great Lakes are gorgeous and a beautiful destination unto themselves, but some of my happiest childhood memories exist in that region of the state. I remember the summers of swimming in Lake Michigan at numerous locales (from the Holland area all the way up to Traverse City and beyond), looking for Petoskey stones on the shorelines with both my Aunt Elise and my Grandma, and of all things, a picture of myself, age 17, standing in Lake Michigan off the shores of Traverse City, wearing my Madonna sunglasses (ya know, the ones from "Desperately Seeking Susan") and a cigarette in hand, appropriately titled "(my real name) Smoking in Lake Michigan." And, I'll always remember those late night campfires along the shoreline, beautiful night skylines, with what seemed like every single star in the universe giving its clearest celestial show; the twinkling of the various harbor and inlet lights; and, the sense of sheer contentment and total peace with everything that existed around that single campfire crackling on the beach.
But, with what's going on right now in the Kalamazoo River as I write this, I truly shudder to think of what could happen if even 1/4 of those 800,000 gallons spill out into Lake Michigan and I hope that they get it cleaned up soon, not for the sake of my childhood memories but for the sake of Mother Nature herself and every single ecological environment/community that exists not just in the river regions but in Lake Michigan itself. You know, it really is true, it's not just global warming and erratic weather systems that cause natural disasters and harm both the natural environment and man-made environments, it's humankind's fault to blame for all these tragedies; plus, as many of us know, our civilizations have done nothing but stir up a lot of the problems and conditions that are blamed on global warming in the first place. Regardless of who's to blame, we all must unite in a formidable front, when we can and as much as we can, to both prevent and stop these man-made disasters if we are to save this planet - or what's left of it.
I'm sure most people are probaly looking twice at their screens this very moment in shock that I would even think of writing about any woes, man-made or otherwise, currently taking place in the state of Michigan. As much as I do admit that I have an endless amount of sheer contempt for places such as Michigan and Ohio, I've also realized along the way that neither of those places are responsible for all the awful things I experienced growing up and/or visiting those areas, they really aren't, I mean, no one can blame a geographical location for their life problems, ya know? On the other hand, yes, it's perfectly acceptable in rational thought to dislike a geographical location because of the bad and/or negative life experiences that you may associate with it. And I think that's what it is with me when it comes to Michigan and Ohio; after all, as much as I dislike both those places I'll be the first one to admit that due to the Great Lakes, Michigan is one of the most beautiful states in this entire country and I will argue with anyone out there who claims otherwise. As for Ohio, how could anyone hate a place that is the birthplace of the famous Cedar Point amusement park, located on the more cleaner and prettier shores of Lake Erie? Dont get me wrong you Ohioans out there, I know there is much more to your state than just some damn amusement park but you get the picture. But yes, too many bad memories to ever wanna live in those areas again; plus, I remember how hard my life was in those pre-college years - working 2 to 3 jobs non-stop, never having any money left over at the end of the week and doing nothing but living in a trapped existence. Whether it's the Great Lakes region or any other region in this great country, no one should ever ever have to live like that. Oh I know it's a reality, even for a lotta folks nowadays but it's a reality I could just no longer live with anymore. Thank goodness I got outta there when I did. Even though geographical locations play no active role in us humans pursing our destinies, I can't end this paragraph without giving a special thanks to both Northern California and my beloved Massachusetts for being as wonderful as they both are.
Getting back to Lake Michigan...every state and/or country that has ever bordered any of the Great Lakes has been (and still is in some cases) guilty of polluting and/or damaging the Great Lakes. I remember when I was growing up the Canadians on the other side of the Lakes were always blaming the Americans for screwing up the Great Lakes but that was so irrational because at that particular time the Canadians had just as many industries dumping their garbage into those Lakes as America did. As an adult I now realize that no one single country/place is to blame for decades of damage, point blank, every geographical municipality that is directly connected to the Great Lakes is to blame. Be that as it may, I hope that it's true that Chicago is cleaning up its act on the Lake Michigan shoreline. I'm quite sure that the Chicago area is a wonderful place to visit as well as live in for one always hears of good things going on there, even in the LGBT and Hiv'er communities. As a kid I remember how everyone use to poke fun at Chicago, calling it "The Bastard Lovechild of Detroit and Milwaukee" - it's true, kids can be so cruel! But, as an adult I realize how silly that moniker was; and, I personally want to give Chicago a giant pat on the back for it's crucial role in combatting the horrible Asian Carp crisis currently threatening the Great Lakes, more specifically in regards to that city's commitment towards protecting Lake Michigan's ecological communities.
What Chicago is doing with opening and closing the locks it has on Lake Michigan is somewhat controversial because some people are actually fighting that action by saying "Let Mother Nature take care of it." My response to that is this - "What?? Are you fucken crazy???" People need to realize that if that particular species of fish inundates not just Lake Michigan, but the other 4 Great Lakes as well, EVERY SINGLE ecological community will be affected if not indeed totally obliterated! Look, Mother Nature is one of the kewlest broads around but let me tell you this - if the Woman could speak, she would agree with what they are doing in Chicago. I'm serious. Asian Carp aren't even suppose to be living in our waters because they are not indigenous to this country. They are a result of ocean-going ships that fill up their ballast tanks with whatever water there is in their native countries and then dumping that very same water into the Great Lakes; and, therefore dumping that species of fish into the Lakes. Sure, the natural solution would be to ban such dumping but it's too late - after all these decades there are just too many of those fish already here; but, thank goodness dilligent work is being done to eradicate that species. Why eradicate an entire species? Because it we don't, it won't just affect any remaining fishing industries on the Great Lakes, it will destroy entire ecology systems. The explanation is quite simple of how. But first a little sidenote - both the Asian Carp crisis and the latest Michigan oilspill crisis are both man-made, Mother Nature didn't have a damn thing to do with either of them, just so that's on the record.
Asian Carp eat 2 to 3 times their body weight in a single day. They can grow up to 80 to 100 pounds in weight. They are fierce eating machines that within one to two summer seasons could ingest an enormous majority of the single frye of those fish species native to the Great Lakes - Salmon, Trout, every species of the Whitefish family you can name, Perch, Bass, etc, etc., the list goes on and on. And, whilst they are doing all that damn eating, they also will be doing a whole lotta humpty-dancing underwater, and therefore multiplying, not just like the regular American Brown Carp, but even worse. And though the following scenario should not be used as a determining factor in the battle against the Asian Carp, it still needs to be said - so you're with your family and/or friends on a vacation to one of the Great Lakes, Lake Michigan as an example - and all of a sudden you hear screaming coming from your nephews and nieces as they are swimming a tiny ways off-shore that a giant fish, maybe even a shark, tried chasing them and nudging them in the water, and literally scaring the shit out of them. You holler at them "Calm down! There's no sharks in the Great Lakes, it's all freshwater!" Less than 5 minutes later you hear more screams and one of your nephews hollers over to you "Hey Uncle Sparky, there are about 10 giant fish swimming around us, are you sure there's no sharks here??" No no no, the Asian Carp have got to be stopped and the waters of the Great Lakes need to be protected.
A couple of nights ago after dinner, when I was sitting on my loveseat having a cup of coffee and contemplating on how to solve the various crises of the world in general, what I thought was a possible solution to the Asian Carp crisis hit me. Why not do what those mad scientists in some of the modern horror films do? Genetically create a super-species of one or more of the more aggressive fish species already native to the Great Lakes; and, give it a genetic code that would predispose it towards eating Asian Carp and Asian Carp only - that would do the trick! And then EVERY species of fish and small water animals in the Great Lakes would be safe forever! Here's how it would happen - American scientists could go to the backcreek waters of the various Great Lakes river systems and round up a whole mess of Pike frye and also ask the Canadians to send their scientists over to those big lakes over in Saskatchewan and round up a whole mess of Muskellunge frye, and then each individual set of scientists would do their fancy genetic coding work and when the frye of each of the two species were big enough, they could be released into the Great Lakes and within less than a year, no more Asian Carp! Yes! Oh, and I chose those two species - Pike and Muskellunge - not just because of their fierceness in the way they fight BUT because each species has teeth. Just think, there isn't a fish in the Great Lakes, regardless of size, that would dare take on a hungry, pissed-off Pike or Muskie - why a member of either of those two species would rip apart any Asian Carp of any size in about 2 or 3 turns, if even that.
But, as some of us may already know, getting ideas from horror films featuring biological terrors in them is never a win-win situation. In regards to the above scenario, I already know what would happen. After a few years there would be no Asian Carp left and those Pike and Muskie would then need to find a substitute to fill their bellies with and before you know it, some night we all would be surfing through tv channels and see a film ad on the SyFy Channel for "Attack of the Killer Pike!" or "Revenge of the Malicious Muskies!" starring Carol Alt or Tracy Gold with John Schneider...you get the picture.
As we all know, a poor movie theme filled with kick-ass special effects is something we definitely don't need when it comes to confronting issues such as marauding fish species from faraway lands, as well as oilspills. Like with everything else in this world, I only wish there were easier solutions available not just for these problems, but for the actual prevention of them in the first place. I think that all any of us can do is exactly what we are doing - attempting to come to an amiable solution to each problem where all parties involved are appeased. My only major concern to that scenario is this - how do you appease Mother Nature? The only way I can figure to do that is not just take an active effort in helping repair the fallout from the problems; but, also making a pledge that we humans will do our damnest to prevent them altogether. Remember, our lives may revolve around the existence of this planet we live on; but, our world's existence does not revolve around ours. It's up to us to make a difference on our end, not the other way around. Think about it.
In closing, two special notes. First, I'd like to thank one of my good friends on Facebook for posting the newspiece regarding the Michigan Oilspill - I'd like to credit his full name but I didn't ask for his permission first, but he knows who he is and I will be more than happy in posting his full name at a later date, if he is comfortable with that. Second, for those of you who aren't familiar with Great Lakes geography, rather than Google it, I'll just give you a simple tip - drop the word "Lake" in front of each Great Lake and read their names the way you would a page in a book, from left to right = Superior, Michigan, Huron, Erie and Ontario. As always, thank you for reading.
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