No, this is not going to be a morbid post about death-n-dying, nor a judgemental diatribe against the many organized religions of the world. Regardless of what your spiritual beliefs are or aren't, it's a given that at some point or another every one of us is gonna kick the bucket. The only things I hate about the concept of death is that it seperates people from their loved ones and is so damn final; but, I'm not here to talk about that either. Most people, when you ask them about their beliefs (or lack thereof) regarding an afterlife or what they think "Heaven" will be like, give a varied list of responses. Oh sure, we hear about the perenniel telling of there being a tunnel we walk down and at the end of it is this giant, bright, white light; but, what comes after that? You hear all kinds of ideas and theories but that fear of the unknown can drive a person to distraction. Well, not anymore.
Short and simple, I think Heaven is exactly what you want it to be and though I would never tell any of you what to do, I'd like to suggest that people take a bit of time to think about this subject because I personally think it may alleviate any irrational fears you may have about it, if you have any whatsoever. For me, Heaven is more than just being free of disease(s), free of pain and being eternally happy - it's about being reunited with the loved ones that have gone on before you - and so much more. Every beautiful, amazing, miraculous experience that you can possibly imagine becoming a reality - that is what Heaven is to me. And I know exactly how I want it to be too.
Personally, I use to think I'd like to do what my great-grandmother did when she bit the dust - just go to sleep at night and then never wake up. But, I've heard that that's not always the way to go because you can end up sorta in-between everything because folks who die in their sleep usually wake up and don't realize they are dead - wouldn't that be a sucky situation to find yourself in? I can see it now..."May I have some extra syrup for my pancakes please?....uhm..why are you ignoring me Aunt Ethel? What's wrong, you act like I am not even here!" No thank you, I'd rather be totally aware of what the hell is going on around me, even when I end up six feet under. Okay, let's get to it....
So I'm dead, I make it through the usual 3 to 4 day period you're allowed to stay on until after your initial death (no, not the heat or drugs guys, I am fully alert right now) and now it's time to start the journey down the tunnel. I make it through to the end and very shortly after I walk into the great, white light.....
I awaken. I find myself napping on a grassy hill sloping down to the ocean. The skies are blue, the sun is shining, it's about 75 degrees fahrenheit and there is a slight breeze coming off the water. All of a sudden I look up and there she is, a beautiful liner I have waited my entire earthly existence to gaze upon, a ship that I never got the chance to see while I was alive because her existence ended about 15 years before I was born..behold, the proud, the gallant, the "Ship Beautiful", the Cunard liner AQUITANIA - yep, all 45,000 tons of pure Edwardian glamour floating right up there in Heaven. I see steam trickling out of her funnels for soon she will begin another voyage. Then I look down a bit, close to her waterline and see what looks like a sea tender steaming towards shore - is it coming for me? Indeed, yes it is. When it reaches shore, a sailor with a strong British accent asks me "Do you have any luggage, Sir?" I respond "Just a little." I forgot to mention that when I say Heaven, I mean every single detail - for before I laid eyes on the graceful Cunarder, the first things I did upon waking from that nap are opening an ice cold bottle of Coca-Cola and lighting up a Carlton 100's, non-menthol cigarette - hmmm, Heaven indeed! My luggage consists of a six-pack of Coca-Cola and my black backack with pink triangle etched on it, stuffed to the limit with about 6 to 8 cartons of my favorite earthly cigarettes! Like I said, Heaven...lol.
As the tender steams me out to my beloved AQUITANIA I not only look up at all her decks alive with activity from the 2,000-some other passengers aboard her but I view her sheer size with awe, every single detail of her railings, her lifeboats, her promenade decks - she is perfect, just as perfect as the day she was launched in 1913. As the gangplank to the first-class cabin area is lowered for me - like I said, Heaven, sheer Heaven - I begin my final ascent to her main deck. When I arrive, so much damn happiness overwhelms me that is goes beyond the word unfathomable - there they are, my loved ones.
The first person I see is my Jack and oh my God, the embrace, that first touch after so many years of being apart - totally indescribable. Laughter and hello's and hugs from my little brother, my Grandpa and my Dad, my Aunt Elise - and so many other reunited moments with so many others. My Grandpa's parents whom I never got the chance to meet; my Dad's parents whom I also never got to meet; and my Mom's grandparents whom I always loved so dearly. So much joy, laughter and yes, even mirth and merriment too! But then, for a split second, I notice there is only one thing missing. I turn to my Dad and say "Where's my baby, where is she?" And he tells me "There's a tender waiting for you on the port side." Jack and I walk over to the other side and he tells me to get in and that he will wait for me - it's Heaven, so regardless of how happy I am to finally see him again, I know he will be waiting for me upon my return.
As the tender reaches the shore opposite of where I was originally picked up, I start to walk up to a grassy knoll and at the top of it is a meadow surrounded by hundreds of blue spruces and Chinese maple trees. In the meadow are growing a few of my most favorite flowers - my beloved Lily-of-the-Valley, purple Violets and yellow Daffodils. The sun is still bright, the skies still blue, simply a gorgeous day; and, then I start to look for her. I start to call her name - nothing. Then, all of a sudden, I hear a tiny bark from the opposite side of the meadow from where I am standing and there she is, my little baby, my little sweetheart whom I havent since the day she died in my arms back in '86 - my dog!!! I start running towards her as she bullets towards me, barking and whimpering and when I pick her up I just hold her so tightly and smother her with hugs and kisses - and the sheer joy of that split-second moment when her and I are finally reunited is so overwhelming that we actually begin to levitate and spin around in circles together! All the pain and sense of loss totally wiped clean from my memory banks, all those years of mourning her loss and never ever getting totally over her death are gone in the flash of a nano-scond.
And that feeling of finally holding my little dog in my arms again, Hell, Heaven just doesn't get any better than that. Don't get me wrong, nothing could be better than being reunited with all my loved ones who have gone on before me, but all means all, including my dog. Say what folks will say, there is no relationship more unique, more special, than that between a boy and his dog. She's in my arms now and no matter what happens from here on out in Heaven, I will never ever be seperated from her again - never.
Suddenly I hear all four of the proud funnels of the AQUITANIA releasing steam as the ship sounds her whistle and her bridge bells clang. The sailor from the tender tells me it's time to leave, so my little dog - all 7 and a half pounds of my miniature teacup black French poodle baby - and I board the tender and head back to the ship.
Once back on board, Ma'Ma' (her nickname, it's a long story, another post..lol) and I are reunited with Jack and my other family members and we all proceed to the First Class dining saloon where my favorite meal is being served - grilled Italian Steak sandwiches (Midwestern style), onion rings, Coca-Cola by the pitcher and for desert, a giant Hot Fudge sundae bigger than your head! Hmmm! Hmmm! After dinner we leisurely stroll out to the promendae deck and sit at one of the cafe tables and light up, those of us who smoke. Suddenly the ships starts to blast her whistles and I ask one of the stewards who is walking by what's going on and he says to me "Sir, you didn't know?" I said to him "Didnt know what? I've only been here about an hour or so Sparky, give me the skinny please." He laughs, apologizes and says "Before we set sail her Majesty's ship AQUITANIA and all those on board her will be part of a great naval review." I asked "Really? What kind?" His answer almost makes me fall over "Why of every ship that you've ever loved, Sir." My mouth drops and I literally jump up-n-down - but not too high, the gravity in Heaven sucks, Jack has to grab me by the ankles (I know, I am thinking the same thing, naughty thoughts in Heaven, tsk, tsk!) to pull me back down!
All of a sudden, the seas around the AQUITANIA are filled with the sounds of dozens of ocean liner whistles and no matter which deck I stand on, for miles around the entire circumference of the ship herself, I see every single liner I have ever read about and studied in my entire earthly life steaming around and near us - each one in brand-new mint condition, each one with thousands of well-wishers lined up on every single deck - so much happiness, so much celebration, so much beauty and grace afloat on the seas around me. Truly an overwhelming feeling beyond human comprehension. And they are all there, every single one of them including the White Star liner TITANIC; the Compagnie Generale Transatlantique's ILE-DE-FRANCE and NORMANDIE; the Cunarders MAURETANIA, LUSITANIA, CARONIA, CARMANIA, QUEEN MARY, QUEEN ELIZABETH (I); Ellerman Line's CITY OF BENARES, complete with all the children on board, alive and reunited with their families; Canadian Pacific's EMPRESS OF IRELAND, with the same status as the CITY OF BENARES; and, Canadian Pacific's flagship EMPRESS OF BRITAIN. Plus, a few that only existed on paper and blueprints but now, finally, into reality - the EMPRESS OF CANADA, an identical sister-ship to the EMPRESS OF BRITAIN; the sistership the NORMANDIE never had, the BRETAGNE; and, finally, the superliner the White Star Line proposed but never had because of the 1934 merger with the Cunard Line, the OCEANIC. Sheer bliss and utter contentment for any ship lover - indeed.
The bands of each liner are playing the song that was played on the QUEEN MARY's maiden voyage in 1936 - "Happy Days Are Here Again" and everyone everywhere is just so damn happy - talking, singing, dancing, making love - it's all there. No worries, no cares, no wars, nothing but Peace everywhere, for all eternity. Heaven beyond compare - nothing could ever top that.
And that, is what Heaven is to me. That's what it should be to those of you who do believe in a place called Heaven - it's whatever you want it to be, whatever makes you happy, whatever you consider some of the best ways you would like to spend eternity. For me personally, just the people I love, my dog and my beloved ships, that's all I require. And when you really think about it, look at all the wonderful things God has created - do you really think that desiring Heaven to be the way you want it to be is really asking too much from Him/Her? Justa thought. Thank you for reading.
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