Wonderful news in the last few days regarding the discovery of 3 anti-bodies within the human body that may successfully eradicate 91 to 99% (I have heard both statistics so am including both just to be on the safe side) of the various Hiv strains that are running rampant in millions of our bodies! Yes!!! I sincerely pray to God and the Universe that this discovery will truly lead to the magic bullet that will lead to the demise of this dreadful disease. They say a vaccine is just around the corner and I hope the leading scientists/researchers of the world put their efforts into overdrive to reach this life-saving goal. Over the years there have been so many damn false alarms on this front but now more than ever I think the world is closer yet to finding the cure that we all have been hoping, praying and dreaming of for so many years. Let's all pull together on this one and keep our fingers crossed as they say.
But, even once this disease is totally eradicated we need to pull our bootstraps up a couple of notches even further and make certain that no diseases such as this one and all others like it are allowed to raise their maddening existence on this planet again. I know that sounds melodramtic but it's true, once the final battle is won we still have more work to do, we must continue onward in further educating the world to assist in making the infamous Hiv+ diagnosis a thing of the past as well. After all, it's a known fact that no matter what battle you are fighting the most effective method of winning is this - kick your enemy until it is down and then kick it extra hard a few more times to make certain that it stays down for good. This theory not only applies to diseases, but even people as well, especially those whom there is reason to believe are not as honest and forthright as the general public is enticed into believing.
I've always been the first person to state, as well as demonstrate, that I am 100% behind all my fellow Hiv/AIDS activists who truly and sincerely bust their asses day-in-and-day-out spreading the word and educating about this disease, throwing as well as participating in fundraisers and most of all, lobbying/rallying our state and federal goverments in securing the medical treatment, scientific research and passage of laws/bills regarding both Hiv and the AIDS epidemic. No one, aside from participating doctors and scientists, deserves more credit on this than all those who do make the genuine effort to make a difference in the livesof so many others. Whether you are an Hiv'er, or even if you arent, there are many of us out there who spend countless hours lobbying for both better medical care and more accessible drugs, as well as the minions of countless others who volunteer and dedicate their time to helping in this decades long battle against what we all now hope to be a less formidable threat to the longevity and quality of life for millions of people worldwide. I personally, on my own behalf and that of countless other Hiv'ers, cannot thank you enough, nor commend and congratulate you enough for the wonderful work that each and every one of you has done over the years and continue to do to this day.
However, in the last couple of months, as I have mentioned in one or more previous postings in this blog, I've noticed there are a few or more of my fellow Hiv/AIDS activists who appear to have taken their activism to a less-than-desirable plain of overinflated egotism and self-righteous arrogance. This concerns me greatly because when the common goal is to do what you can to help improve the lives of others and you put your own selfish, self-centered desires above something precious as one single human life, then it indeed is time for you to step down and pass the torch to others. And if you do not have both the maturity and perspicuity to do either, then you need to get some serious counseling - and I'm not kidding.
I'd like to use the ADAP Summit that took place in Washington, DC this past week as an example. There were some of the most prominent and decidated Hiv/AIDS activists in this country who attended those meetings and from what I heard via phonecalls, read via emails and saw via various internet posts, they all did a splendid job. But that wasn't all I heard and saw. Several of the people who attended that meeting were pompously congratulating themselves on being Masters of the Hiv/AIDS Universe, some even to point where they had the audacity to imply their participation warranted their bidding for the roles of the next AIDS Leaders of the World. Oh really? Being a Leader of anything is something that needs to be decided upon by the people, it's not won by being a braggart. Sorry, but it just doesn't work that way. Second, in order to fill such a title, you have to earn it fair-n-square, more specifically, by putting the needs of everyone else ahead of your own personal agenda. And quite frankly, I think some of the people who attended that meeting are way too self-serving and self-centered to put the lives of all us other Hiv'ers in the balance. In addition, there's one other thing you need before you can even slightly entertain the thought of calling yourself a Leader - you need backbone. And to those whom I am directing these comments to, I hate to break it to you, but you do not even have a third of the backbone it takes to fulfill such a title. It takes far more than the careless splurging of delegated and unceasing publicity mills and self-righteous gloating to become an AIDS Leader - it takes a full backbone. an unrelenting, unselfish commitment towards the safety and welfare of people other than yourselves and most of all, it takes the will of the people themselves to vote you into it, just as it does with anything else that is suppose to closely resemble a democracy. Were there any type of voting elections that took place during the ADAP Summit which I and the general public have yet to be aware of? I didn't think so. Egomanical dictators are not needed in the battle against Hiv/AIDS; real people with real values and real goals are. Yeah, it really is that plain and simple.
I'm sick-n-tired of complaining about how hypocritical some of you are; and, as angry and infuriated as I am now and always will be over what I consider a waste of valuable time and energy, this type of behavior needs to stop - and I mean it. If it doesn't, the overall good of not just us Hiv'ers as a whole community will not only be compromised but everyone else who is rallying and lobbying against every other chronic and/or terminal illness out there will fall short of their goal because of your heinous, overindulgent egotism. I've had plenty of time to think of some solutions and so far the two that I feel are the most realistic and most viable, and most protective of Hiv'ers in this country, and perhaps even beyond, are the following.
First, all of us need to band together and create a national think-tank that will solve the problems of this pseudo-egotistical Hiv/AIDS hierarchy that now exists in America. This bullshit concept of only the immature, rich, arrogant, Hiv'ers as the chosen select few has got to stop. The Hiv/AIDS Leaders of Tomorrow should be chosen based on their ideas, theories and commitment to what is best for the battle in the areas of human rights, drug research and patient care; not based on the color of their skin, how much money they have, or the numerous publicity mills they operate. It should be based on who and what they are, not what they look like or what they have. Why should all the decisions made about the national Hiv'er community be made by only a few priveledged select few? What has happened to the prescence as well as the voice of the little guy? The current state of the Hiv'AIDS leadership in this country is becoming more and more a parody of not the people and organizations we all fight against, but of ourselves as a whole community. This all needs to be addressed and what better way to do that than via a national committee that is created and maintained by those representatives who are chosen and elected by the majority as a whole?
Second, because this is something I believe in so deeply, so fervently, I have decided to take action personally at the risk of revealing my true identity - yes, that's how much this means to me. In the upcoming months I'm going to personally petition several elders of the national Hiv'er community to assist in launching a legal investigation on a few of the more prominent Hiv/AIDS activists whom I have firm and sound reason to believe are not operating their organizations in the best interests of the overall Hiv'er community - and not just us gay men, but everyone, bisexual, straight, transgendered, men, women, children - you name it, no one's overall welfare is going to be left out of this one. I have never believed in utilizing the influence of others my entire life but this one time I am going to use every contact and resource I have to get to the bottom of what I intellectually and morally feel is a matter of grave concern. The little guy, the average Hiv'er is no longer going to be silent - not anymore.
Yes, true, I am only one person and I may not be able to change the world but I will be damned to hell if I'm going to stand by like a quiet bump on the log anymore and watch innocent people's lives get lost in the bureaucratic shuffle brought on by some of my fellow Hiv/AIDS activists. I will fight with all my might and give everything I have in me to win a battle that I feel is just and right. To do anything less would be comparable to implicating that my Jack and the Mystery Man both died in vain and I'm sorry, I can't let that happen, not now, not ever. I've said it before and I will state it once again - if you have the nerve and audacity to play hard ball with me, fine with me; BUT, you better learn rather quickly how to play fair-n-square because that's the only way this homey plays.
Towards the end of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, I believe the commander of those forces once stated "I'm afraid we have awoken a sleeping giant." Well, again, I may be just one person, perhaps even a little guy to most, but I think this phrase is extremely appropriate regarding the aforementioned situation. The generation of Hiv/AIDS activists that I come from is the same generation from which people like Larry Kramer, Cleve Jones, Bobby Campbell and so many others led the way for the rights of us Hiv'ers nationwide and worldwide. For those of us who are fortunate enough to have lived back then and survived this long, the present and the future continue to hold the promise the past always held - that if we stand up united in the same exact goal and fight for what is right, there is no way victory cannot be obtained. The fierce desire to pave the way for others was sparked and thus born unto that generation and that is the mettle I come from. If I am wrong about any of my convictions I will stand up as any decent human being should and admit that I am wrong. But, as I stated earlier, I don't think I am wrong, not this time.
With all my heart-n-soul I pray that a vaccine for the Hiv virus is created very soon because I want back those years that were lost due to this-n-that serious infection and this-n-that ravaging side-effect - I think we all do. But we're not gonna get there by being broken up and scattered into this-n-that clique and how could we? The only way we all are gonna make it to be the first ones in line to get innoculated with that magic bullet is by uniting in the same common cause, one for all and all for one, if you will. The new medical miracles on our horizon as this generation attempts to flourish forward into the fuutre need to be greeted and utilized by us all, not a select few. It's funny in a way, I thought that having this disease would change people for the better, wake them up and make them realize how all life is precious, perhaps even humble them a bit; but, in some cases I guess that not even being Hiv+ could penetrate thru to some peoples shallow, inner cores. In a way I almost feel sorry for them but then I think maybe if once, just once, they would get deathly ill like some of us have and get really, really scared about their own personal immortality, just once, maybe then they would realize that drawing lines doesn't help anyone, it only harms the overall good. I don't know which would be better, that scenario or perhaps making them into the mirror for once and for all. In the upcoming months I hope to find that answer. Thank you for reading.
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