When I got out of work this past Friday night I was suppose to go down to Foxwoods with a former neighbor of mine, her niece and a few of their close friends for a pre-holiday slot machine-fest; however, that was not to be. About 15 minutes after we left Boston, as we were motoring down 95-S, I noticed that my right leg started to feel funny for some strange reason, funny in the sense that it felt as if someone had poured some water inside my pant leg. Well, there was definitely something squishing around in that pant leg and no, it wasnt water, nor was it late 1980's porno star Dino DeMarco - though had it been the latter I definitely would not have this laptop perched up on my lap while I'm sitting in bed writing this to you all right now! I'll spare y'all the gory details of what really happened and attempt to provide a brief summary and/or outline of the situation.
Apparently what happened was this - I developed what the ER folks called "a secondary infection" near the site of the healed wound area on my right leg (from my surgery this past summer) and since this secondary infection had nowhere to go but outside of my body, well, you get the gross, nasty visuals on all this dont you? So, I spent Friday night in the hospital, connected to those lovely IV's - which I just may send a Christmas card to this year since they're like my closest friends these days! - and was pumped full with antibiotics as well as a bit of painkillers, since they had to perform an "invasive procedure" into that particular area of my right leg, as well as the customary CT scans. Their greatest fear was also my greatest fear, blod-clotting, which my body does have a history of doing; however, thank goodness that was not the case. Sooooo, I got home last night sometime after 7 p.m., downed a quart or two of sugar-free Grape Kool-Aid and totally crashed out on my bed till around 1 a.m. or so this morning.
I should be totally well enough to return to work on Monday morning, but between elevating my leg on hourly intervals and then being allowed to get up and move around for 10 to 15 minute periods of time, well, my weekend has been kinda sucky and boring to say the least! Spending an overnight in the hospital and being laid-up here at home without being able to traverse the internet regularly as I am accustomed to has made me feel like I have lost total contact with the outside work these past 35+ hours. And even though I am back home, I will only be able to go online intermittenly and though most folks dont think much of it, it's really hard getting use to typing on this laptop while sitting up in bed versus at my tiny makeshift computer table that I have in my tiny living room.
Anywho, I got to thinking about some things as I was somewhat laid-up this weekend and I have some observations and/or reflections to share. I know, I agree, sometimes when I get bored that's my most biggest problem - I simply think too much about things in retrospect and what-not but then again, who the hell doesnt do that in these circumstances, ya know?
Though I know the world, especially the internet world, does not revolve around me, nor do I expect it too, there's something I realized several minutes after signing on so very late last night - I'm expendable. Totally 100% expendable. Apparently, all of us who travail the internet world are. Again, I did not expect everyone I know, or even mere casual web-surfers, to stop what they were doing and say "Oh hey, look!! HivSpice is back online!!" Even I am not that vain and conceited. However, it was as if for those 35 or more hours that I was gone, that I didnt even exist. Quite frankly, that felt a bit unnerving, perhaps even mildy alarming if you will. I thought to myself "Waita second, it cant be this thing where when I am online folks go outta their way to address me and acknowledge me, and then the second something goes awry in my life, they totally forget me, can it?" I thought about it some more. Nah, it's not that cause it doesnt matter if your friends are the real-life kind, the internet-kind or a combination of a bit from both worlds - doesnt matter how you know someone and vice-versa, if folks say they care, nine times outta ten if they are indeed genunine, they care no matter what. And, in the event that the aforementioned scenario is true, that most folks adopt an "outta-sight-outta-mind" attitude for their fellow internet travelers, then I guess that's the way it is and there's no pissin-n-moanin to be done about it.
However, I have a problem with that but versus bitching about it, I'm gonna choose to do something about it. From here on out, when it comes to the friends online I feel the closest to, I'm gonna make it more a point to stay in more regular contact with them. Even if they are too busy with their lives, I for one am gonna remind them that I care and that I am thinking about them anyways. No, not because of what happened to me on Friday night but definitely because I dont feel any human being is expenadable in any sense of the word. And for me personally, whether in real life or on the internet, a friend is a friend, no two ways about it. Keep in mind, I am not frustrated, nor angry, as I write this to all of you, I'm simply genuinely concerned, or as they say in internet-speak, I'm "just sayin." It's also equally true that there are several friends I know online whom I have lost regular contact with and I do feel bad about that, regardless if its because my life has been busy, or theirs, that's not the issue, letting others know that you care and letting them know that you are thankful they are in your life (and vice-versa), that's what it's all about.
By the way, for what it's worth, whether you believe in celebrating the upcoming Christmas holiday or not, what I just wrote about in the aforementioned paragraph is exactly one of the main "reasons-for-the-season" - to appreciate and celebrate the lives of those whom you care most about in this world. Take away the over-commercialism of the retail world, as well as the quasi-religious overtones, and what you have left really is the true meaning of Christmas. That's what it's all about. Yeah, it's really that simple, really that basic. Yet, isnt it almost funny in a way how it's always the world of mankind that continually over-complicates such matters? Hope. Just like with showing others how much we care about them, that's yet another positive thing about the upcoming holiday season that we need to remind ourselves is something we are all entitled to have all year-around, not just during the holidays. I hope that everyone out there has hadda much better - as well as less eventful! - weekend as I have had and as always, thank you for reading.
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