By now most of the world has heard about the tragic suicide of Asher Brown, 13, a student at the Hamilton Middle School in the Houston, Texas suburb of Cypress, who a couple of days ago shot and killed himself because he was viciously bullied by his fellow students for being gay. I heard of this incident yesterday morning but didn't wanna write anything about until I had read every one of the news stories covering this extremely sad event. Naturally, anytime anything bad happens to a fellow human being, but especially a child, it breaks my heart and I get all choked up. But at the same time it makes me angry, viciously so, because no child, no adult, no human being should have to feel that it is better to end their lives due to all the heinous and cruel treatment they receive from others just because they are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgendered. What happened to Asher Brown and the horrors he experienced, the cruel, vicious things he experienced because of other's bullying, bullying based totally on hatred and intolerance, should never have happened at all. Children, regardless of age, are not born as bullies, nor born bigoted - those things are learned, and in almost every instance, they are learned in their homes. Parents need to stop raising their children to hate. It's as simple as that. This kind of behavior has got to stop - it must. It's up to us, the living, to do something about.
Perhaps in some ways it could have been even worse for Asher - he at least had a loving and supporting home life, complete with a Mom and StepDad who loved him tremendously. If I hadda dime for all the times over the years that I have heard about such tragic events taking place, always compounded by the fact that there was no love and acceptance in an individual's home environment, I'd truly be a rich man by now. But Asher's family, whom I might add deserve a giant medal and much love for embracing, not condemning, their child, loved him no matter what and God bless them for realizing that no matter who or what your child is, they are always always worth showering with unconditional love and acceptance. No child, whether by their own hands or someone else's, deserves to die for being who and what they are. And, when you really think about it, those kids at Asher's school are the ones responsible for pulling that trigger on that gun, not him.
In the articles that I have read regarding the events that led up to Asher's death - more like murder, hey, I call a spade a spade when I see it - the parents were aware of what were going on and the school officials were also aware of what was going on; but, from what I've gathered, in Asher's mind he just couldnt live with the harassment and severely taunting abuse he received from his schoolmates, so he decided to end his personal pain and suffering. Perhaps if there had been a chapter of an organization such as GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network) in place in Asher's local school district they could've done something to help him, maybe even somehow prevented it, I dont know. One thing I do know is that the majority of people who kill themselves are not deranged psychos who have lost touch with reality as society has painted them to be - isn't it ironic that even in death, those people are denied the peace they strove so desperately to garner from society? True, Asher was definitely beyond distraught enough to feel he had to take his own life; but, by the same token, it's quite obvious that his suicide shares one universal element with everyone else who ends their own lives - the kid obviously felt he had nowhere else to turn to. And, that's the part that makes me break down and cry, that that little boy felt so goddamn alone inside, that he felt so damn upset because he felt he had nowhere else to turn.
I'm not gonna assess Asher Brown's death because no matter how much we all as concerned individuals want and need to come to full terms with what happened to him, it's not ever gonna bring that young man back. However, we can definitely do something about, we can do our damnest to make certain that not only did Asher not die in vain, but maybe we all can somehow prevent something like this from ever ever happening again. The bigotry and hatred that his schoolmates were spoonfed by their families and by society in general comes from the same exact source that is responsible for every single loss of LGBT life since time began - society's inability to destroy it's social mores and moral judgements of yesteryear and replace those negative, oppressive things with the compassion and acceptance that should be more than abundant here in the year 2010. Our race of beings has come a long way since the world came into existence but we obviously have much more work ahead of us because quite frankly, shit like this should NOT be happening. We need to do something about this, changes need to be made.
First, let's not sweep any of this under the rug - the people who are responsible for Asher Brown's death need to be punished - and severely I might add. Oh I know that's not gonna bring Asher back but damn it, people need to pay the price for such barbaric, inhumane behavior, starting now. For starters, I think legal charges should be brought against those individuals who are responsible for his death. They all need to be sentenced to their local juvenile home indefinitely. Lock them up and throw away the key? Oh no, definitely not, those scumbags dont deserve to get off that easy. The state of Texas, more specifically, the city of Houston, Texas, needs to make it mandantory that every single one of those kids who even looked at Asher Brown in a negative way should be required to undergo intense psychiatric evaluation and treatment at one of the world's leading names in the world of psychological and psychiatric studies - the Menninger Foundation. A state hospital environment is all they should be given? Fuck no, they deserve the creme de la creme of mental institutions and since Houston, Texas is the new homebase for Menninger, how convenient is that? For those of you who may think "Well that's good enough Spice" think again, I haven't even started. They deserve far more than just fun-time at their local juevy home or mental ward - so much more.
Second, we need to launch a nationwide campaign to brand, to label - and most of all to make them never ever forget for one single day for the rest of their lives - Bullies. You got it. You know how this country has a public database for those who are child sex offenders? Well, we need to create one for Bullies. I'm not kidding. Any person in this country, or even on this entire planet, who commits the crime of bullying against their fellow human being, whether it's for being Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, Plaid, having Four Noses or Seven Ears, and so on needs to learn for once and for all that BULLYING IS WRONG AND NEEDS TO BE STOPPED FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL! What's that you say, reverse psychology? Heaven's no. True, that would work in this scenario but no way, again, no one will be allowed to glide by the system on this one. It should be federal law in this country that if your parents are going to raise you as a Bully then you should be made responsible for the crimes you commit as a Bully and reminded of this every single day of your life. Permanently. No matter how old a person gets, no matter what they no, no matter where they live, it should be a PERMANENT LABEL so when you're living in someone else's neighborhood they have the right to plug your fucken name into a computer database to find out that "My name is Tommy Jones and I am a bully. In 2007 I was convicted of harassing a 14 year old lesbian girl to the point where she took her own life."
Oh and don't think the parents of the Bullies are getting off scot-free either. One of the rules of that datebase should be that ANY and ALL members of a Bully's family must be listed inside the database - after all, why should the children pay for the sins of their mothers and fathers? You listen to me right now America, if you're going to allow such inhuman trash to be a part of this great country, then those people need to pay the price for raising hatemongerers, for raising murderers.
Third, in every city, in every town, in every small burb across America, we the people need to force our federal government to make it mandantory that every single municipality is REQUIRED to include a LGBT organization as part of their school district not just so that what happened to Asher Brown and so many other children like him ever happens again, but to patrol our nation's school hallways to make certain such harassment stops AND to make certain that no child of any age, background or sexual orientation feels they have no one or no place to turn to in their time of need. This is NON-NEGOTIABLE America, the children - EVERY CHILD - of this great nation deserves to be saved, deserves the opportunity to become educated and grow within an environment that is morally and unconditionally supportive of EVERY CHILD, not just the straight ones, not just the rich ones, not just the church-going ones but EVERY CHILD.
Fouth, and finally, we adult members of the LGBT community worldwide need to do more. Reading about it in our Facebook newsfeeds or watching it on CNN and exclaiming how horrible it is and then going about our daily lives isn't enough. No matter where each and every one of us lives, we need to - with or without a national organization standing behind us - become more involved in our local school districts. We need to push for our local school districts to implement those LGBT educational networks. Our voices need to be heard and no, not do "indoctrinate" children "into our lifestyle" as the Biblethumpers and Hatemongerers preach, but so that we can make some contribution in saving a kid's life, a kid like Asher Brown. No one should say how much what happened to Asher upsets us and then take on the attitude "Well, let's just hold our breath and pray it doesnt ever ever happen again." No, I'm sorry, that is unacceptable. If you stand by and remain complacent, this type of hate crime will continue to happen over and over again. I just cant help but think of the "What If..." scenarioes on this one...what if there had been a LGBT outreach program at Hamilton Middle School, could it have helped in saving Asher Brown? What if there had been various leaders of the local LGBT community sponsoring lectures or student support meetiings after-school, and educating the kids in that school that it's truly okay to be gay, could this have made a difference as well? Could any of this somehow stemmed or even diffused even a bit of the hatred that brought about Asher Brown's death? Could it have made that little boy feel so much more less alienated and less isolated? We may never know but I ask you, why must we always wait and wait for it to happen over and over again to re-address these issues? We need to start laying the groundwork now, bit by bit, piece by piece, so we can at least do something about this. Now.
Whether as an adult, or as a child, it's a known fact - hell, even an unspoken rule for that matter - that nobody likes a Bully. Yet throughout our lifetimes, as children in school, as students in high school and college, and yes, even as adults in the modern day workforce, we experience some type or form of bullying throughout our lifetimes. It is true what they say, there is an asshole in every crowd. But what happened to Asher Brown goes way way beyond popular phrases and/or idioms - we're not talking about words, we're talking about a human life here. No one should ever ever have to contend with an environment where they are continously condemned and harasssed for being who they really are, regardless of their sexual orientation. When I try to put myself in Asher Brown's shoes and attempt to imagine the hurt, pain and loss of hope that that little boy experienced before his death, it not only upsets and enrages me, it makes me realize that we as LGBT people can no longer allow society to dictate what is best for the LGBT youth of today. What happened to Asher is yet another wake-up call that if we don't start doing something about it, there won't be any LGBT youth of tomorrow. Yeah, this is that serious guys. We have to make these changes happen. Now.
In closing, I'd like to offer my sincere sympathies and condolences to Asher Brown's parents, family members, and friends in this horrible tragedy that they are currently enduring. If I could take away all their hurt and pain and even bring Asher back with the sweep of a magic wand, I'd do so instantly without thinking twice. Boston is a pretty long ways away from Houston, so since I cannot be there to pay my respects in person, I'm sending them all the love, compassion and hugs that I possibly. This evening when I return home from work, I'll be lighting a candle for Asher Brown and sending love to him as well as healing thoughts to his family members. His life did matter and I know it always will. Thank you for reading.
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