This will be the first time that I've ever written about where I was and what I was doing on the ill-fated morning of September 11, 2001. It's never really been that difficult re-telling any of the prior experiences that have taken place throughout the various periods of my lifetime, but this particular experience was one of-a-kind and like most folks out there I hope to never have to experience what the world was like on that day ever ever again. Whether you were there where it all happened in NYC, or some other place that was connected to the overall events of that day, such as Boston, you felt the reverbating shockwaves that hit everyone's mental senses whether you wanted to or not. Describing how it made one feel is something all of us who were in Boston at the time, as well as other places all over the globe, have in common - first, the intial major shock, followed by varying degrees of horror, denial, disbelief, fear, anger, panic, rage, paranoia, all of which were suppose to be followed by acceptance but that's something that didnt arrive at the same exact time for all of us, again, depending on where you were when it all happened.
I remember that morning very clearly. It was a gorgeous sunny morning in Boston, justa tiny bit of a cool breeze and it was in the high 60's, low 70's temperature-wise. At that time I was working the job I currently have but I had the day off because the next morning I was suppose to fly out to Michigan to visit my Grandma for a few days - sort of a mini-vacation since at the time I had accumulated several extra vacation days from working extra hours that summer. That morning my main goals were to get packed for my trip, make sure my mailman held my mail for me and just chill before catching the usual 6 a.m. Northwest flight on the Boston Logan to Detro Metro run the next morning, September 12th. Of course, like thousands of other flights the following day, that one never left the airport.
A co-worker who was in downtown Boston that morning for 2 business meetings with new clients had asked me to babysit her 2 children for her, from 8 a.m. to 12 noon. I thought to myself "Why not? I could use a few extra bucks for my mini-vacation anyways." Plus, as most of my regular readers already know, I love bubbas, just love-love them! For those of you who arent regular readers, I love children, I think they are wonderful to work with. At the time her daughter was 5 and her little boy was turning 3 and a half. Shortly after 10 a.m. we had all decided to go for a bikeride around the neighborhood where they lived - actually, for them, a bikeride meant 2 small bikes with training wheels while I walked. It didnt matter, they were such great kids to babysit for and it truly was a beautiful day so we all were half-way around the neighborhood when one of the neighbors a few houses down from them came out and said to me "Shouldnt you and the children be indoors right now, on the phone???" She looked frenzied and panicked, so I said to her "Oh my God, what for, what's going on??" She blurted back "You mean you dont know what just happened a few minutes ago??" Naturally, I told her no, at that time I was helping the kids get their bike helmets on securely. She said "You better get in their house, turn on CNN and get their mother on the phone." So I said "Okay, if you're sure" and she said "Yes, I'm sure, please, hurry."
So, we went back to their house, I turned on CNN and had there not been small children in such close proximity I probaly would've yelled out "Holy Fucken Shit!!! This just can't be happening!!!" Instead, the littel girl said "Hey, what's that plane doing on tv?" Instantly I turned the tv off, turned around and said "Nothing Sweetie, let's go get the paints set up on the kitchen table for you and your brother, okay, sound good?" And she got all excited, thank God, because I was a nervous wreck!! I thought to myself "Oh my God, what do I do??? Their father is overseas on business and their mother is in downtown..." and I do remember for the 1st time in my life I was so goddamn nervous I started to shake. No sooner had I everything for that morning's painting projects set up - we were gonna paint pumpkin pictures and make stems outta green pipe cleaners - when the phone rang - it was their mother. She was just a-panicking and said to me, "Hi, it's me, do you know what's going on right now as we speak??" I told her that no I didnt exactly know what happened but hadda pretty good idea. You could tell she was scared shitless, especially by what she said next "They dont have all the facts yet, but they are pretty sure that the entire country is getting attacked, I want you to remain calm, go downstairs and open up the shelter door, turn the light on, then go back upstairs and tell the children that you all are going downstairs to play fort, okay, will you do that for me as quickly as possible??" I told her "Yes, definitely,don't worry about it, just be safe and we'll be waiting for you when you get home."
Little sidenote - yes, it's true, looking back we all knew it was the Twin Towers in NYC that were getting attacked, but when the Pentagon was hit too, that made alotta folks in those first few hours of that morning think that World War 3 had just begun. Yes, that's how many people viewed it that morning as it was happening, and not just in Boston, but everywhere. We saw what was unfolding on our tv screens, as I'm certain most of you may remember, but it was the not knowing what, if anything, was going on outside and away from those tv screens that had most people, myself included, totally terrified.
The children's mother didnt get home till at least 2 and a half hours later due to hell breaking loose all over Boston that morning - Boston Logan was shut down, traffic was horrendous, people being told to avoid the tunnels between downtown and the airport and the cops were out in full force. After she had gotten home, she said that most of the people who worked in the buildings in downtown Boston were told to either go into the basement security cellars or go home for the day - she said it was total chaoes and mayhem, plus everyone who was in the city's tallest building, the famous John Hancock Tower, were told to evacuate. Yes, with all this going on, how could anyone not think that World War 3 had just begun only a few hours ago? When she got home, she immediately ran down to the basement where she found us playing Candyland in the dimly lit bunker that musta been built when their home was constructed in the late 1950's. She hugged the children and told me she had contacted her husband and that he would attempt to get on the next flight out. I gave her a hug and asked her if she wanted me to stay with her and the kids until he got back but she said no, that her parents were on their way over as soon as they could get there, and that I was welcomed to stay if I had no other place to go. I thanked her for her kindness and told her about my plans for the next day and that I should go. Funny, at the time, her and I both were too wound-up to even think whether or not my flight the next morning would be canceled, but it certainly would be.
Had I not been there babysitting and taking care of small children, I dont know how I woulda reacted. I probaly woulda lost it a bit, swore alot and then proceeded to light up a few cigarettes. Yes, at that time I was a smoker, but a very light one, a little under a half a pack a day. But trust me, had I been able to smoke I probaly woulda gone through an entire pack that morning! Yep, even back when I was a smoker, I was always extremely considerate - I always smoked outside, never in anyone's home or car and never ever around small children, both outta consideration for their health as well as not wanting to pass a bad habit onto them.
Naturally, when I went back to the apartment I was living in at that time, I saw a great deal of the countless traffic barricades and snafus that were popping up all over the city but I didnt really think about anything but getting back to my tiny abode and getting on the phone with friends and family about everything that was going on. And, just like it was during the large earthquakes I experienced while living in Northern California, none of us could get through to each other because "All Circuts Are Busy" was played over and over on both ends of the phonelines that morning. So I thought to myself "Well, I dont know what's gonna happen, so I might as well keep busy, do what I gotta do and see what happens." Of course, I had CNN on constantly and clicked back-n-forth between that and the local channels to see what, if any, were the instructions for all of us who lived in fairly close proximity to downtown Boston at the time had to adhere to. Oh, and yes, once I got home, I sure did light up a few cigarettes - more like 5! - one after the other while I sat out on the back porch area of the apartment where I was living in at the time. So with the tv constantly on, that afternoon I packed for my trip the next day and tidied up the place.
That evening, when I decided to get out for a little bit and take a walk to clear my mind, I heard something that gave me an inkling of how most of California musta felt on December 8, 1941 - I heard something in the sky, and looked up and saw a set of three F-15 fighter planes racing over the city. A couple I passed on the street looked at me and said "Oh, didnt you hear? The mayor demanded that the government issue those patrols over the city for the next 48 hours." I told them "Thanks for the scoop, I had no idea" which I indeed did not. Naturally, that made me feel a bit safer in what I still feel is one of the greatest cities around, but as a single person living by myself, not having any family closeby, I still felt nervous. Looking back, that was okay that I felt that way, none of us knew what to expect next then, not just in downtown Boston, but probaly in downtowns all over the country.
When I returned home from my walk that night. I finally got through to friends and family and boy, we all were relieved to be able to share our experiences with each other. My Mom was on a business trip in Arizona at the time, but we did manage to talk with each other, so once I told her what really happened in Boston, including the fact that the 2 planes that hit the Towers originated from Boston Logan, both of us got kinda emotional, naturally, because I was to fly out the next morning. I told her I went ahead and packed anyways, just in case, but that I probaly wouldnt see her or Grandma till that Christmas. Aside from friends who were living in Indiana and California at that time, the only other person I spoke to that night was my Grandma and let me tell you, World War 3 or not, it broke my heart to tell her that I most likely wouldnt be having breakfast with her tomorrow late morning after all. Of course, she totally understood why, but she wasnt upset about me not coming per se, she was very worried about my safety, questioning the safety of being in a major city that some group of terrorists would just love to make a target out of, as well as the safety of the entire country. It was very hard refraining from becoming emotionally unglued during that one single phonecall because I could tell how worried sick she was but this was one of those times that none of us truly had much control over the situation.
Before we got off the phone that evening I told her this - "Don't worry Grandma, everything's gonna be okay. And God forbid that it's not, well, you remember what Grandpa told us both in the event of an emergency - get our asses into the old dried-up water cistern under the North side of the house and start praying!" She laughed when I said that and said "But what about you, you're all the way out there? You're so far away." I teared up instantly - thank God we didnt have Skype back then - and told her calmly "Listen to me, if anything bad ever ever happens, you make sure you getta warm blanket and some food from the fruit cellar and get to that cistern. You stay put until I get there, do you hear me Grandma?" She started to get a bit emotional but I told her again that everything was gonna be okay and then she said "But how will you get here?" And I told her "Don't you worry about that Gram, I will find a way. Besides, I can't think of anyone else I'd try harder to reach or to get to than my best friend. Don't worry Grandma, it's gonna be okay." That made her feel reassured and I'm glad it did because I definitely woulda done just that - cone hell or high water, I woulda done what I could to get back to Michigan and stay by her side and do what I could to protect her. None of us really knows what we're capable of doing in such unimaginable circumstances, even if it means risking our own lives.
How did I feel about the events of 9/11? Like every other American, I felt anger and outrage that any group of indivudals could carry out sucha sinister and evil plan of murderous destruction that claimed thousands of innocent lives. From that day onward I truly got nervous every single time I thought of flying but then I realized that if I allowed such fears to control my life, I really wouldnt be living life at all, none of us would. So in December of that year I did indeed fly again - I went to Michigan to spend Christmas with my Grandma and other relatives who also came there to celebrate the holiday with her. Yeah, I was a wreck flying there and flying back but I did it and I'm so glad I did because if any one of us allows fear to overtake our lives, even now, then we are giving in to the very same forces that struck at the heart of America and the world that horrendous morning. I don't know about the rest of you but that's something that I refuse to give up, the basic choices and freedoms that we all have a right to.
The importance of remembering the morning of September 11, 2001 is something that every American, every world citizen, should be encouraged to do because if we forget or attempt to ignore the experiences of the past, regardless if those events affected us directly or indirectly, then we will allow history to repeat itself; and, this is one of those tragic examples where we just cannot allow that to happen. As a human being, I will never be able to fathom the horror and terror the passengers of those 4 planes must have experienced when they realized what was happening, it shuns me to even attempt to imagine how they musta felt. When innocent people are harmed in any way, but especially via the diabolical madness of others as well as the many other scenarioes that take place in our world on a daily basis, it infuriates me to no end. Some people back then, and even now, labeled 9/11 as the modern world's Pearl Harbor; and, rightfully so, both events destroyed thousands of human lives, both were pre-meditated attacks. By the same token, both are two totally different events that deserve their own seperate recognitions in both world and human history. However, there is one aspect of each of these events that will forever and inextrictably link them together - two mornings in which the principles of freedom and democracy were attacked, yet shortly afterwards, were also reborn. Reborn firmly intact and standing proud - as it should be. God Bless the United States of America and for her allegiance to freedom and democracy. Thank you for reading.
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