On Larry Kramer - Friday, June 4, 2010

Several days I ago I read an article on the Poz.com website on Larry Kramer and his current battle with the GMHC. The author of the piece, Sean Strub, described Larry Kramer's powerful invective abilities akin to a whirlwind, a giant hurricane of anger and fury. He practically painted Mr. Kramer as this titanic, uncontrollable, unstopable turbine of hellfire, which Mr. Kramer definitely is; BUT, what Mr. Strub didn't add in is that not only does almost every single one of Mr. Kramer's battles end in a glorious victory championing the rights of all us Hiv'ers, as well as the overall LGBT community, but he demonstrates over and over again that he is not only the unchallenged King of Hiv/AIDS activism, but without him, the majority of today's Hiv/AIDS activists wouldn't even be in existence.

Oh I know, I know, that's a hard pill for any of you to swallow, let alone digest; but, it is without a shadow of a doubt, the full and utter truth. I'm not trying to cast judgement on any of my fellow activists, I validate that the majority of you have busted your asses (and in some cases your moneypockets) in launching your websites, your blogs, your fundraisers, etc. etc.,; but, there's a couple of points where most of you need a major reality check on.

But before I get started on that, there is one point I want to make upfront right away. The main difference, as well as the explanation for Larry Kramer's longevity and reslience on the neverending battlefront, between him and the rest of you is this - his human compassion for his fellow human being, and NOT just this one or that one, BUT EVERYONE. That is EXACTLY where some of you are fucking up.

The reality checks..I already hit on the 1st problem of my fellow activists - your flagrant inability to include every Hiv'er on your team. Hey guys, there isn't a damn thing wrong with stating "Well, we are covering this or that segment of the battle and here's how we are doing it...", that's great, but when you create your decadent, prepubescent cliques and start stating "Well, you have to be this way or that way in order to be a member" you're alienating all the regular folks out there who may not be fortunate enough to wave wands of publicity and self-righteousness like some of you do. It's wrong and it needs to stop.

The 2nd reality check...do you wanna know why the only thing that's keeping any of your "organizations" going is the 24-hour-a-day-7-days-a-week publicity mills that you've all created? Very simple answer. You do not know how to fight. You're all so goddamn busy with the glamourization of this disease that in the process you've lost your ability to connect directly with the human element of it all. When you thirst for fame, eventually that fame becomes shallow and meaningless; but, when you alienate others along the way, that's even more dentrimental to your various causes because you're hurting people along the way - and that's not right either.

What do I think you all need to do? Refocus yourselves. Start connecting with those who have been around longer than you, people like Larry Kramer, for there is so much we can learn from our elder, seasoned Hiv'ers. Stop with the glamourization of Hiv/AIDS - there are a few or more of you that are setting an extremely poor, unrealistic example for the younger LGBT generations to follow. It's like you're saying to them "See, if you get this disease like me, you can become famous like me, have enough money for all your meds, have a nice home, travel the world and you can be included in our group!" Yeah, influencing others to walk a gangplank that not one of us would ever be on if we had that second chance. Yep, that makes a lot of
sense, doesnt it?

I'm curious - while all these self-serving glitterdomes of fantasy are sprouting up left-n-right, what are any of you doing for the everyday Hiv'er? What about the Hiv'ers that can't afford their meds? What about the Hiv'ers who have children and have lost their jobs and cant afford to pay their bills? Or even afford housing? Oh you'll all make it known that you are standing up for this cause and that cause, but a few of you aren't even getting off your asses to do anything about it.

And now for the biggest question of all - and oh God I would love to hear all of your answers to this question because whatta helluva pip of explanations that would be. Here it is....what are you going to do when you fall? I mean it, I wanna know, how are you gonna handle it? There are several of you who actually have the nerve to think you are invincible. Oh really? If you think that all your public fame and boo-koo bucks that you're bringing in for yourselves is gonna prevent this disease from knocking you down here-n-there, you are very fucken sadly mistaken. Yet when you do fall, when you get really really sick the first few times, trust me, you're gonna wish all those people you counted out of your circles will be there to do something to help. I'll be there for anyone because that's the type of person I am, but please, I implore of each and every one of you to heed my warning on all of this. I wouldn't say it if I didnt genuinely care.

No, I'm not saying that I am the world's greatest Hiv/AIDS activist out there, be-cause I'm not, I have a lot to learn and much to do; nor am I wishing any of you to fall deathly ill. I just wanna make it very clear in no uncertain terms that you need to keep your human touch with those around you intact, you need to be realistic that what we're all fighting against isn't a round after round of fun-n-games, but pure reality.

Larry Kramer was and is someone I admired and yes, even thought of as a hero, years before I even tested Hiv+ and I suspect I will look up to him till my last breath is gone. But you see, he sets an example not just as someone who is a relentless, true fighter that never gives up; but, also someone whom is genuinely compassionate towards his fellow human beings. The side of him that you dont see mentioned in editorials such as the one Mr. Strub published is the side that is loving, fiercely loyal to his friends, filled with great strength of character and committed, always, to making a difference in the lives of others.

One of the several things that someone whom was very close to me told me several days before he died was, believe it or not, this - "If Larry Kramer ever needs an extra soldier I want you to go volunteer." I looked at him, crying and laughing in the same breath and said "Are you fucking kidding me? What the hell would Larry Kramer want with a nobody like me?" And he told me something that perhaps I should have told all of you rather than even writing this mini-epistle - "Because everyone counts." If we all can remember this, I think we're all gonna be okay. Maybe not but I sure would like to rest easy at night knowing that I'm a member of one very formidable team. Thank you for reading.