On Canada - Saturday, June 5, 2010

Originally I was going to write a piece about revealing one of the few mysteries of my life but tonight, I wanna set that deep, personal stuff aside and turn my eyes due North to Canada. Actually, doing the original piece sort of ties in with Canada because the more I think of it, the more I can't get it off my mind.

For years now several of my acquaintances/friends from all over America have told me "Spice, you just gotta go there and check it out, you really do!" Oh I too think it's worth checking out but I never thought about it much beyond visiting. You all know that I despise the word/concept of alienation and I hope that this doesn't offend any of my fellow Americans but I have to be honest with myself - in the last couple of months that my prescence on Facebook has somewhat accelerated I've noticed that more and more of the people who have taken me in as a friend and/or confidante are not U.S. citizens - they're Canadian. And that tickles me to no end!

I've always thought the bullshit of people cracking jokes about Canada was just that - bullshit. I enjoy South Park too and I know every place on the planet gets made fun of in one way or another but Canada isn't some inferior territory that borders America like most comedians make it out to be.

One of the liberal elective courses I took in college that I just LOVED was, of all things, Canadian Culture & History, and not only did I ace the class (I love learning about new places, geography and all that good stuff! lol) but I educated everyone on the EMPRESS OF IRELAND diaster, which even most Canadians don't know about. In short, it was Canada's worst maritime disaster and most people aren't aware of it cause that summer World War I took place.

The only bad thing I have ever heard about Canada as a nation - and all you Canadian folks out there please correct me if I am wrong - is that it has severe problems with its national identity because the two largest groups, the British and the French, have a lot of issues with each other. Well, that doesn't make it a bad place and it's really not their fault, it's the fault of Great Britain and France that their national identity doesn't know which way to go. Even if any of that is true (and for me personally, it's not an issue of ethnic background, I just wanna know where all the available gay bachelors are!) I think Canada is a very fascinating place. And I don't want to go for just a quick visit - I'd would really like to check it out someday.

Peanut Butter and Jelly. I told a Canadian gentleman via messaging about it one day and I think he probaly thought "Combivir getting to you again Spice??" I'm serious, you Canadians have got the BEST Peanut Butter and Jelly on the entire planet!!! I mean it. Here in the States all we got is Jif and a few others to chose from; but, in Canada, your peanut butter is made by Kraft, Inc. and we can't get it anywhere here in the States because Kraft won't market it here! Ugh! And then on top of it, Kraft Strawberry Preserves and Red Raspberry Preserves - oh my God, I don't know what they put in that stuff but my Lord, it tastes like someone made it homade! I'm not kidding! Now that's not to say when I come there to visit I wanna Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich (or in this case probaly two!!) for dinner but damn, I have got to get my hands on that Kraft Peanut Butter, it blows Jif, Skippy and Peter Pan right off the charts! Did everyone just get that? I made a funny!! That is the neatest thing about us blondes, we can amuse ourselves so easily!

Elissa Landi. An actress, poet and novelist. Her story needs to be told more often but I wanna hone in one angle of her existence. Of all the great, talented actresses of the 1930's that I have studied over my lifetime, get this - every time she went back to Canada to visit her family members, she was never once hounded. I'm serious. I've researched tons of microfiche archives on her over the years and NOT ONCE did the press harass her any time she came back to Canada to visit. Now I realize this is just once instance of this kinda thing happening, and I realize that Elissa and I exist(ed) generations apart from each other; but, it's got me thinking - is the Canadian press more respectful of people's privacy versus the American press?

I realize that Canada and America have both changed drastically since the 1930's (Canada being the more progressive of the two in certain areas), but wow, think of the possibilities. I'll make any of you a bottom dollar bet that I could come to Canada, unload all my secrets, all my mysteries, people would listen for a few days and then I think they would drop it. I know this probaly sounds irrational on my part, but it makes me wanna ask myself - would the Canadians even give a rat's ass about who I was involved with in my past, even LGBT Canadians with me having an indirect place in gay American history? Don't get me wrong, I haven't been studying you Canadians beneath a diabolical magnifying class but damn, you really are different from the Americans - but in my book, different in a good way, a kind, genuine, compassionate way.

All the above are just thoughts and ponderings on my part, perhaps even mere speculations if you will, but it does make my wheels spin a bit in my mind; but again, in a positive way. I wouldn't go as far as to say self-serving for let's face it, no matter who you are or where you live on our planet, every place has its good and not-so-good points. My mind is definitely made up about one thing though - I wanna visit Canada in the not-too-distant future, I wanna get a feel for the place and a feel for the people (no pun intended!). I just hope it's as welcoming as some of the fine, decent people whom I consider my friends who live there. Thank you for reading.