Monday, February 21, 2011

Sex Past 40 - Monday, February 21, 2011

When I was a very young Spice back in the day - a flouncing, spry 17 year old young man with a semi-washboard chest (semi- because back in the 80's we werent as pec-obssessive as folks are nowadays), an ass you could balance a plate of cake on (literally) and fairly gorgeous blonde hair (damn, I miss my hair; it never grew back...eh, fucken cancer) - on the occassional Saturday nights when I would frequent one of the local gay bars near whatever town/military base we were stationed at, a good-sized group of us local LGBT folks (about 9 or 10) would make it a point to get together at Denny's or some local diner for an extremely late-night cup of coffee and/or snack after the bars closed and just hang out for an hour or two and have a good time. I remember more than once that whenever the subject of sex came up - which in those days, was quite frequently! - everybody would put in their 2-cents-worth regarding their take on the subject. Nine times outta ten, those present at the table who were above the age of 40+ adamantly swore that sex actually got better as one got older because the more experienced you became at it the more enjoyable it was. Personally, I always thought that was justa load crap, especially since the majority of the time those who claimed such statements to be the gods-honest-truth usually had one of their hands resting on one of my upper thigh areas while making their point! No, that is not to imply that I was always two-steps-shy-of-the-gutter for in most cases that's as far as any of THAT ever went; but, that's not the point. My point is this - and I never ever thought I'd ever admit this to anyone else, let alone myself, but - they were right! It's true, sex DOES get better when your biological clock reaches 40 and even when it ticks beyond that age!

True, you can have a great sexlife regardless of what age you are but when I was growing up I seriously believed that once you hit 40 or older, your sex life was close to being over with, that there just wasnt as much drive in the 'ole libido, that men took up hobbies like stamp-collecting and putting puzzles together, while the women-folk took up knitting, quilting or supporting their local book-of-the-month clubs. I got that extremely misleading impression from my parents, their peers, relatives, etc., etc,. I gotta hand it to everyone, they musta put on one helluva act just for us teenagers back then because nothing could be further from the truth; but then again, people didnt talk about sex as openly and freely as they do nowadays. Regardless, as I got older I realized that sex IS indeed better when you're 40 or older, not just because you yourself are more wiser and experienced regarding it but in most cases, so are the other people you choose to have it with! Of course, as we all are aware of, there are many folks out there who because they themselves know this thing about sex being better when you're older, choose to explore their sexual prowness with those who are anywhere from 10 to 20 years younger themselves. Hey, if that's your thing and all parties involved are quite content and happy, more power to you. But another point that needs to be made on the issue of sex is something that I think more people need to come to grips with (no pun intended!) - sex can be so much more gratifying with someone who is experienced versus having it with someone who hasnt the slightest idea of what they hell they are doing. In that same line of reasoning, those of you out there who have thus far failed to realize that sex is about the pleasuring of both parties involved, not just yourself, need to keep in mind what I just said]. In other words, people need to look at sex in the whole picture sense before they jump right into it (yet another unintended pun!).

By the same token, don't get me wrong on the issue of age-n-sex. If someone of a desirable nature, in their early to mid-20's on up, came up to me and said "Hey Sweethaht, ya wanna go somewhere and make some noise? Do the humpty dance? Bump uglies??" I'd probaly be very flattered and depending on the situation, perhaps would see where things would lead. Then again, being the Mr. Good Girl type that I am, I'd probaly be more taken aback and I'd definitely think twice before acting on any carnal instincts whatsoever. After all folks, we all must be careful as well as ethically responsible when it comes to intimacy with anyone, regardless if one is Hiv+ or not. That's right - we ALL need to behave responsibly and maturely regarding such matters. Let's not forget to factor in that each and every one of us has a different take on this age-n-sex issue. In regards to myself, I've always been involved with men who were either close to my own age or older; but, that's not to say that I would not consider getting to know someone several or more years my junior should such a situation present itself. Regardless of what your viewpoint is on this issue, I still say that we'd all be a helluva lot better off if we were more openminded about this kinda stuff and again, focus on the individual themselves because age is nothing more than a chronological marker to begin with.

So there you have it, my take on this sex past the age of 40 thing. Naturally, whoever you choose to become intimate with, please be responsible and practice safe-sex guidelines. Remember, one does not have to be promiscious to contact the Hiv virus - just as with pregrancy for the straight folks, all it takes is that one single unprotected sexual experience and BAM!, you're done for. So please, respect yourself and others, if you're gonna fool around, do so safely. Regardless of what your age is, I think one of the greatest things about life is growing and learning new things along every step of the way. Sex is not over with once you hit the age of 40 and beyond. Nor is your life. Thank you for reading.

 

Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo

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