Since I've begun writing this blog several months back, I have touched base on the issue of the Facebook "Friends List" and other areas of the vast social networking site, as most call it, and shall continue to do so from here on out whenever something I feel worth mentioning surfaces. Such as is the case today. Originally I was gonna write about each of the following sub-topics individually but I think all of them can be covered in one simple piece. Ah, there's that word again, one of the most misconstrued words in the English language - simple. In my life? Yeah, right. Although I've written on the subject of Facebook Friends several or more times previously, starting with this particular piece I will begin numerating this inaugural series of mine because I'm more than certain I will be revisiting this subject again and again in the future. In fact, that's a definite because I have no reason to doubt that there will be individuals out there who will affect my internet existence in a positive, enriching way, as well as those folks who for various reasons will simply hock me off to no end. Even though there is a gem to be found in every crowd, we all also know that there's always an asshole in every crowd too.
Part of the inspiration for the 1st topic in this piece is something I read on the Profile page of one of the dear and true friends I currenty have on Facebook, although in his particular case I hope he's one of those forever friends, someone whom I will always be close to. Actually, I would love to share his name with you because I think he's a dynamic individual who I just could go on and on about what I truly think of him; but, alas, when writing and autoposting from work as I usually do these days, I really dont have the time to shoot off a message to anyone asking them if I have their permission to use their name in any of my pieces. Regardless, one of the captions that he has beneath his Profile pic is EXACTLY how I feel about the several or more individuals on my Friend's List who I now choose to confront about something.
In the last few months, I've noticed that there are several people on my Friends List who requested to be friends with me, yet you could not even suspect that that is the case by the way they treat me. These individuals apparently wanted to connect with me but get this - when I go to comment on their posts, or "Like" their posts, or even send an occasssional message saying "Hello, how ya doin'?" they totally ignore me. No one realizes how busy all of our lives are better than I do, but c'mon, if you're not even gonna be civil to me or not even acknowledge any of my communications with you, then may I ask why on fuck's earth would you wanna be friends with me? I just dont get it. It totally perplexes the livin' hell outta me. It makes no logical, rational sense to me whatsoever. What is up with that? Are you embarassed to hear from me? Does the name "HivSpice" give you the heebie-jeebies? I mean c'mon, talk to me Chester, talk to me. If the answer to any of those questions is "Yes" then alla y'all out there who treat me this way need to remove me from your Friends List. I'm serious.
No, I'm not stressed about this all, just trying to rationally figure it all out. I mean, what does anyone have to gain by adding me to their list unless they sincerely want to communicate and interact with me? Am I just a number to you? Do you really think that being connected with HivSpice is gonna provide you with some degree of status nobility on Facebook? Are you doing it because you think it's gonna give you some free unsolicited publicity that is gonna put whatever your pushing over the top? If the answer is "Yes" to any of those questions, do us both a giant favor - take me off your list and private message me personally and I will be more than happy to "Suggest" you to one of the several other Hiv/AIDS activists on my Friends List who are truly unadulterated epitomies of the term "publicity whores." BUT, I gotta warn you, the way you've regarded me is the same exact way they will regard you, yes indeedy. As soon as you get added to their list, they'll check out your Profile from stem-to-stern and if you cant do anything for THEM, you will NEVER ever hear from them again. If those are the types of people you wanna associate with, please, PLEASE, jump off my list and scurry over onto theirs. Oh, did I forget to mention that if you wanna feel like a number there's your opportunity? I only interact with people who take a sincere, genuine interest in me as an individual and if some of you folks out there can't handle that, then like I said, get the hell away from me. Now.
Don't get me wrong, the majority of my fellow Hiv/AIDS activists who are on my list are truly decent, hardworking people; but, there are a few who are major-ass hypocrites. Perhaps those of you who have very little regard for me once you friend me really do need to go hook up with those psychological vampire-types because I'm beginning to believe that you all would be extremely happy together. Phew!! Keep that shit away from me children, Lordy....!
The porno star/director Jeff Stryker. Those of you who are my faithful, loyal readers may recall the negative run-in that Jack and I had with Stryker many years ago at that one party in the LA area. No, we're not gonna revisit that experience but let us return to the issues of publicity and noteriety. I've been wanting to sing out on this one for months now.
I do not know who any of you think you are who assume that by aligning your names or establishing some form of association with Stryker that it's gonna make you look good but I got news for all of you out there who think that way - you're totally whacked in the goddamn head! I'm serious! It seems that some of my more notable friends in the entertainment industry (especially you Drag Queens out there) think it's gonna bring you oodles of extra fame and honorable mention. Oh really? May I ask how you have come to that conclusion? Those of you who have done and are doing this, I'm curious, have any of you ever met with Stryker in person? Do you know what he's like as a human being? No, no, no, dont tell me you adore him because he once autographed a dildo for you or because of the wonderful performer he is, do you know him as a person, do you know what makes him tick? Uh-huh, that's what I thought. May I ask, are you that insecure about your own individual talents that you think having some kinda connection with an aging porn-star muckracker like that is gonna secure your star in the eternal entertainment firmament? With special regards to you Drag Queens out there, sorry Ladies, it doesnt work that way. Your audiences are gonna stay riveted to you because of YOUR talents, not someone else's. And some of you wonder "Gee, how come I dont pack them in like I use to?" Maybe you need to look inside yourselves and ask that question and figure it out instead of foolishly thinking that having an indirect connection with Stryker is gonna be pivotal in your quest for an anticipated Norma-Desmond-like comeback.
For the 3rd and final topic of this piece...this is something I've been wanting to sink my teeth into for over 20 years now. There is a certain porn director out there in Hollywood (I still cannot fathom why Tinseltown hasnt vomited him back up to where he came from in the Midwest) who is both directly and indirectly responsible for the demise of several or more people once involved in the porn industry. I know, some of you naysayers out there are gonna say that because people chose to go into that business and couldnt apparently handle it that one cannot blame others for their ultimate fate. Oh yeah? Well I got news for you Sparkies, when someone is down-n-out,even the least bit vulnerable, you'd be surprised how others are more than willing to manipulate and take advantage of people in those circumstances for their own personal gain. It happens all the time, all over the world, but especially in Hollywood. Had he not been cremated and requested that I sprinke his remains in the Pacific Ocean, I just know that Jack would be rolling over in his grave for me saying any of this, but there is one particular individual who needs to be taken to task on all of this. That person is ChiChi LaRue. And for those of you on my Friends List who think he's the greatest thing in the world, I'd like to inform you that you're very sadly mistaken. I Nowadays, at least in the world of porn and the GLBT entertainment industry, LaRue is allegedly highly regarded as being at the top of his game - in more ways than one. Why, if anyone is invited to or a part of his social functions, that's considered a major honor. And of course, he and his company promote safe-sex films and safe-sex products now, so naturally he needs to be congratulated repeatedly and highly revered because he's of such noble character. Bull-fucken-shit. LaRue very much contributed to the demise of several people in his industry, most notably Mike Henson, so trust me, this goes way above and beyond the issue of judging someone for their past. Those of you who think being associated with LaRue would be the most grandest accolade of your entire lives need to ask yourselves, do you want the spotlight to rain down on you because you made yourself shine due to your own merits, or because you're associated with some underground thug like that? Think about it. Just remember, when you sleep with dogs, you get fleas. If any of you misinformed, self-righteous followers of LaRue, in California, in Minnesota and in the rest of the world even think of wanting to challenge me on any of this, go for it. I know the truth and I do not frighten that easily. You see, it's not that I am hell-bent on avenging someone else's death as much as it is that I truly respect how precious and valuable every single human life is, and when I see other people regarding other people's lives as mere trash on the curbside, I have a real issue with it.
So for those of you who think it's so noteworthy and influential to associate with someone of the likes of ChiChi LaRue, go for it, but please, dont ever say that someone didnt try to caution you. I dont associate with people like that and if you have even an ounce of respect for yourselves and those around you, you won't either. In all this time that I've been on Facebook I've never once disregarded anyone for having a point of view different from mine. I've never once told someone "Well, we cant be friends 'cause you are friends with this-or-that person." But, this is one time I must make an exception to that rule and I do so wholeheartedly and unregrettably. There are many extremely bright, brilliant people out there whom I feel truly blessed to be considered friends with, but if you're gonna associate with any of the riff-raff that I mentioned in this piece, I cannot in good conscience tell you that you're my friend and I respect you, because I don't. I can't. And I won't. Not when it involves the safety and welfare of one single human life, which I personally feel is immeasurable. Going against the grain on that one stance would be like spitting on everything I believe in, everything I stand up for and I'm sorry, I just can't do that.
Honestly, I don't wanna lose any of my friends because of the many issues I am firmly committed to, or for things that I personally regard as crimes against humanity, for events in other peoples' lives which have no direct, personal bearing on my existence; but, by the same token, if no one is gonna start taking a stand against such injustices, then what does that really say about us all as the human race? So the next time any of you are sending a Friend Request to people of the likes of Jeff Stryker or ChiChi LaRue, or even partying it up at one of their glittering gay illuminati-infested galas, think twice before considering me your friend. I mean it, I'm not backing down on this. Look, I realize that these things happened decades ago but by ignoring them, by not standing up for the wrong that was done to others, it's like saying that it was okay that they happened - and it wasn't. It isn't, not anymore now than it was back then.
It's funny, when I first moved to Boston over 15 years ago I overheard several or more Bostonians saying "It's not that we are snobs, that we think we are better than anyone else, it's just that we are a different class of people out here." Myself, I always always thought that was one of the most extremely pompous, arrogant statements I have ever heard in my entire life but now, I finally realize what they meant. There are 2 classes of people on this planet - those who will sacrifice whatever it takes, even their very existences, all for the sake of fame, regardless of the cost. And then there is the other class of people - those of us who dont. Those of us who won't. Those of us who refuse to be a part of any universe that shits on the little guys & gals and thinks they can get away with it. Karma is a bitch, isnt it? Then again, so am I, so am I. As always, thank you for reading.
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