...yeah, it really is that simple, they just don't. I've been saying this statement for several years now so I have decided to sit down and write about why I not only say it, but also why I firmly believe it and why I feel its important for others, especially the worldwide teenage population, to understand the concept behind it. No, I won't be writing about the "evils" of teenage sexual activity because first off, I don't think that being sexually active at any age is "evil" it's actually quite natural; but, being irresponsible about one's sexual activity, now that's what I not only consider "evil" but also downright foolhardy, especially in this day-n-age. Nor will I be lecturing about the importance of abstinence, because even with being Hiv+, sorry, I don't think abstinence is psychologically healthy nor realistic for any human being, not even those who join certain religious orders, but that's another post of an entirely different nature.
Think back to when we all were teenagers, regardless of your sexual orientation and/or gender. We all had "those feelings" or "those urges" to sexually experiment with our peers. It's one of the many ways we all discovered who and what we were sexually to begin with and not only that but in most cases, damn, it simply felt good to get it on with another human being. Even entertaining the thought of expecting and/or dictating to the youth of today to suppress and deny those urges is totally unrealtistic. Let's face it, teenagers have been fooling around for centuries and that's not ever gonna change. So what do we do? We take it to the next level. And I'm not talking just about condom distribution or getting teenagers to join groups where they wear those fake chastity-promise rings on their fingers either - we need to teach our younger generations not only how to be responsible if they choose to engage in sexual activities, but equally important, if not more so, we need to teach them how to communicate about sex as well. After all everyone, if we as adults had been more responsible with ourselves and communicated more openly and more clearly about sex with out sexual partners perhaps some of us wouldn't be in the shoes we're in now. As much as you may or may not want to accept this, it is the truth in many of our lives.
Hence, the concept for something I choose to aptly title "The Good Gurls Foundation." An organization that has a two-fold creed that those who want to join must adhere to in order to become members, as well as remain members - A). Claim Total Responsibility For One's Participation In Sexual Activities - do more than just throw on a condom, learn all there is to learn about every sexually transmitted disease out there and take whatever necessary precautions there are to prevent oneself from contracting it, as well as one's sexual partners. B). 100% Open Communication About Sexual Activities Before-n-After Each and Every Single Experience - communicate with your partners about what you two plan on doing with each other during intimacy BEFORE intimacy. If you have an STD already, communicate openly with your partner(s) about it and what you both can do together to prevent it from being transmitted to others. In other words, before you hop in the sack with anyone, approach any sexual activity as if the other person you're going to be with is Hiv+. No excuses, no if's-and's-or-but's - either be responsible or don't do it. Yeah, it's really that simple because when it boils right down to it, we are talking about human lives here, in addition to self-respect and self-preservation in every single sense of both of those words.
And if for some reason, the teenage/young adult members of this organization don't feel comfortable with, as well as don't even know how to communicate about sex with others, then trained professional counselors as well as age-designated support systems will be provided for them so that they do indeed have someone to talk to about all of this. It shouldnt really have to be that way, parents nowadays need to overcome their shyness and any archaic values that they were raised with, and just grab the bull by horns and get through to their children on all of the issues they have with it. Personally, I think expecting parents to do that is just as pointless as expecting every single teenager out there to totally refrain from any and all sexual activity. So, having a problem talking with your teens about sex? Then come to an organization where you will be free to discuss those things with trained professionals as well as other parents and teens who are dealing with the same exact issues as you're dealing with. If pre-teens, teenagers and young adults cannot get the answers and/or moral support that they need in their lives from their homefronts, then they need a positive, healthy alternative that will be equally efficient at preventing them from learning about it on the streets. If we want them to listen and follow a good example, then we have to provide them with reasons as well as choices on why they should listen.
Why the name "Good Gurls?" Believe it or not, at first I coined that phrase as a joke amongst a small group of fellow gay friends and myself; however, the more I thought about it, the more I thought it was an appropriate name for the organization. Think about it. Why is it that only "Girls" must be good, why can't guys, why cant teenagers and adults alike of every gender be "good" and responsible about their sexual activities? The answer is simple - take that word, revamp it and make it include everyone - thus Girls, Boys, Women, Men, the LGBT community, hell, even Republicans, could join this organization because it would be for everyone and after all, as residents of this planet, we're all suppose to be helping each other along the road of life, so why should sexual responsibilities be excluded from that? It doesn't matter who or what you are as a person, if you feel strongly about the purposes of this organization, then membership will be inclusive, totally, not exclusive. Throughout our lifetimes sometimes we all need that extra ear for someone to listen, or that extra hand that reaches out to help us along the way, why not provide it via an organization that is there to help, rather than judge or dictate what is right or wrong?
Peer pressure is something that has been at fault for many of the teenagers of today, as well as those of many a yesteryear, for not only becoming sexually active but also for soaring rates of STD infections, including Hiv. It has to stop. We need to tell our younger generations that if they do not personally feel they are ready to engage in sexual activity then they do have the right to choose not to. And, if their peers are gonna harass them about their choices then we need to teach them not only how to respect the choices they have made for themselves but to diffuse the way their peers treat them, whether through verbal affirmations or simply walking away. If their friends tell them "Well we're not gonna be friends with you if you dont screw this-or-that person" then we need to teach them how to respond to such irrational rubbish - "Well if I have to be a slut to be your friend, it aint worth it Baby!" or "If doing something like that is the only way you will consider me your friend, then I choose not to be your friend" and simply walk away. Again, we all were teenagers once too and you're right, teenagers communicating with each other under those terms may not be the norm; BUT, that's where we have our work cut out for ourselves - we have to work together with our youth to make it the norm. There is not one single reason why there has to be any further soaring STD (including Hiv) infection rates among the ages 13 to 18 age group, nor the 18 to 25 age group and so on and so on. We need to teach youth of all ages that they indeed have the right and the abillity to make decisions that will protect their very lives the same way that us adults do or in some cases, should be doing. Hey, in many cases I too think that there are a lot of kids out there who are way way too young to even be entertaining the thoughts of having sex with others, but if they are gonna do it anyways I'd rather have them making educated, rational, logical choices for themselves than making the wrong choices altogether.
Of course, one needs a great deal of bucks and sponsorship to get sucha organization such as this one off the ground. I dont have any of those things at the moment, but at least I laid down the foundation and some of the groundwork for it in this piece. And oh yes, of course, marketing will play a major role in its success. T-shirts, bumper stickers, informative pamplets, nationwide chapters sprouting up here-n-there, yes, I do see this as a totally realistic venture. In particular regards to those of us of the LGBT community, think back on all those times we had to search over and over again for answers about our sexuality simply because our parents and family members would refuse to talk about something they considered "evil" or a form of mental illness; think back on the lack of resources that were available to us all those years ago and how we always wondered about this-or-that; and, most of all, think back on how much more of a difference it woulda made in every one of our lives had we simply had that extra ear or shoulder to go to. No one should ever have to navigate the tumultous waters of teenage-dom totally solo on their own, having an extra lighthouse here-n-there could make all the difference in the world. Even for those of you who are already parents out there, as a parent you always always want what is best for your children, you always want them to have it better than you did in one way or another - why not give them an outlet that will not only teach them what sexual responsibility is really all about, but also along the way teach them how to foster their self-confidence, as well as teach them how precious life really is?
For the past few weeks a bevy of my gay friends and I have joked about the term "Good Girls' and have hadda hilarious time doing so, especially when thinking of some of the more popular "Good Girl" characters of the past 50 years or so, with names such as Gidget, Annette Funicello, Sandra Dee, Tuesday Weld and the like comiing to mind. I'm not saying that we as members of today's modern society need to return to the days when those Teenage Queens of Virtuous Moralities mentioned were the norm; but, we do need to instill in our youth of today a couple of the values those characters represented. First, you can love yourself and have a great time without having to drop your panties just to impress someone. Second, you can make the best decisions for yourself possible and still simply enjoy being a teenager as well as appreciating how precious your individual life is. Finally, you can respect and love yourself for the choices that you make, yet knowing that help is right around the corner if you ever truly need it. Thank you for reading.
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