No, this is not gonna be a chronicle of every single sexual romp I have had with countless black men from here to San Francisco and back in the last 25 or so years of my life, so if that's what any of you are expecting, please feel free to read one of my other blog posts or proceed onward to another blog. What I am going to write about in this piece are the stereotypes about black men that the majority of us non-black folks have been spoon-fed over the years in our generation as well as the several or more generations before us. And when I say black men, naturally I am referring specifically to gay black men since I am gay; however, I suppose these stereotypes could also apply to hetereosexual, bisexual and transgendered black men as well. For what it's worth, I've never been with a black man before - not ever; and, no, it has nothing to do with my perception of this-or-that, it simply hasn't happened. That's the only logical explanation I can give you because that's the only logical explanation there is. Will it ever happen? I'll be damned if I know and I'm not too worried about it either way because I'm a rare breed in the gay community - I want to know the entire person, not just what dangles between their legs, doesn't matter what race they are or what color their skin is because when it boils right down to it kids, we're all people, each and every one of us is one of the Universe's most unique creations.
Before I jump into the subject material, as is customary, one of my pre-entry (no pun intended!) lectures. In the last 30 years or so, society in general has tried it's best to have a very open and accepting mind towards inter-racial relationships, regardless of one's gender and/or sexual orientation; however, it still hasn't met my high-standards notebook so allow me to set the record straight. It doesn't matter who you are or what you are, nor what color your skin is, when you love someone, none of those things matter, it's whats inside that matters. In other words, yes, Love truly knows no color. I've been saying it for years and thank God I finally have the opportunity to speak my mind about it. Since the early 1980's I have heard and seen so many couples exclaim "Well I cant become involved with someone who is that color" or "What would people say if they saw us together in public frolicking together and rolling down a grassy knoll with a steep incline??" I will say now what I have been saying over the years - who the fuck cares??? My God, doesnt everyone out there realize that when you are fortunate enough and blessed enough to find someone whom you love unconditionally and who loves you unconditionally in return that THAT is all that matters? Yes, if you are indeed emotionally and/or physically attracted to this kinda person or that kinda person, that's fine, that's not what I'm talking about. All I'm trying to point out is this - when you find yourself in love with another human being because of the total person that they are, don't assess or even condemn the relationship because of this or that irrelevant, shallow reason, give yourself and the other person a chance, get to know them for all they are and most of all, keep your hearts and your minds open - always.
It personally sickens me when I think back on all the people I have either known or seen over the years who literally will throw away a sturdy foundation for a relationship strictly due to the other person's color and/or race. Especially when it comes to people in my own age generation. I look at myself and then at them and think "My God, at our age how many more chances do we have left at true love, anyone have the answer on that one, please??" Yes, there probaly are people my age, pushing 45 in the next few months or so, who have no desire to even wanna be in love but damn, for those of us who do, all I can say is this - I wouldnt care if the dude had purple skin and 3 extra noses growing out of his neck, if it's a chance at finding love and keeping love, count me in. Anywho, you get the point of what I am trying to say, so enough lecturing, onto the subject material.....
Black men are really attracted to blondes and/or redheads....well, in my case, you couldn't prove that by me even if you wanted to, for as I said, I've never been intimate with a black man, I wouldnt know. Perhaps some people would be embarassed to admit that but I'm not and as I mentioned earlier, I have no explanation of why it hasn't happened (in the event there are some smart-asses out there who are chuckling or guffawing silently to themselves, you know where my left ass cheek is..). I do have a fairly decent personality and I'm not ugly so all I can figure is that if it's meant to happen it will, but that applies to every race of man under the sun as well, so again, I think this stereotype is false and the issue is totally a matter of personal attraction. Do I find black men attractive? Hell yes but like with everything else in life, it's gotta be a mutual thing guys.
As for redheads. they're a distant cousin to us blondes so I cant really speak for them on this one either, but I do know that one of the red-headed guys I went to high school with in Ohio did date only black men. Hey, his choice and in my eyes it really is a matter of personal choice; but, I myself would not limit my relationship possibilities to one race only, I would keep the doorway of possibilites totally open.
All black men are hung like horses....based on who I have peeked on and seen over the years, sorry, but I have a mixed view on this one. For myself, I have never personally seen a black man with a small dick yet, I'm sorry to all you other races out there, but I truly havent. In fact, had I been more bold, the last time I did peek at a black man I was so tempted to go up to him and say "Excuse me, but does your own mother even know that you are packing something that huge!?!?!" Lord, have mercy! BUT, in all honesty, c'mon, we are all adults and I dont think any race is the exception to the rule on this one - doesnt matter what your color or race, I'm quite certain that there are black men with small dicks just as there are white and/or latino men with huge dicks too. On this one, I say the stereotype is false, I say it's all a matter of genetics when it comes to your personal endowment.
Black men are excellent in bed.....again, couldn't prove it by me; however, I have heard this is true. When I have talked to other folks who are involved in interracial relationships they have told me this is true and when I asked why or how, I was told this - with black men it's not just about them satisfying their own personal needs, they want to please their lovers too so that everyone, for lack of a better description, has an extremely enjoyable time. I wanna say I accept that as a legitimate answer but I cant and I'll tell you why - that's like saying "Well because you are Chinese, that automatically means you know how to make good Crab Rangoons" - like hell it does. The same thing with black men - claiming that each and every black man on this planet is automatically an excellent lover strictly because of the color of their skin is just as preposterous as the Chinese example I gave. I'm sure there are black men out there who are lousy lovers, just as there are white, latino, Korean, Afghani, etc. etc. men who are lousy lovers too. I vote this stereotype as false, I think it strictly depends on who you are as a person and it's that simple.
Once you go black you never go back...once again, I have no idea if thats true or not but logically and rationally thinking I wouldnt think it is because again, shouldnt your relationship choices be based on the person as a whole? For those of you who feel this statement is true, hey, as long as you are happy, that's all that matters. I'm not saying that you can't adopt the stance that you date black men exclusively, all I am saying is I wouldnt limit your chances on finding love based on the stipulation of one's skin color and/or race.
I will be the first person to admit that I am not a world-wide renowned expert when it comes to romance, sex and relationships; but, I am very glad that I took the opportunity to share my viewpoint on all the false and/or true (depending on your own personal opinion/perceptions) stereotypes regarding black men. Perhaps some of the ones I mentioned are considered offensive, humorous and/or ludicrous by some black men but I feel safe in saying that I would like to think that like with any other men out there, most black men would like people to get know them for who they are, not because of some stereotypical myth that is circulated about them. For myself though, doesn't matter what your color and/or race is, to gain my acceptance all I ask is that you be yourself - if you can give both yourself and me just that much, that's all I ask. In fact, that's all that any of us should ask and/or expect from each other. Thank you for reading.
No comments:
Post a Comment