Guys & Guises - Monday, October 3rd, 2011

Justa teeny tiny precursor message before I jump right into the subject matter of this piece - it doesnt matter how you communicate and interact with another human being, whether in-person, online, over the phone, etc., etc., interpersonal relationships between two people can and do begin in all kinds of settings. I think the determining factor on whether or not they will succeed depends totally on how committed the two people are to the relationship itself. I think this applies to everything under the sun, not just relationships. Makes good common sense, dontcha think?

With that being said, I'd like to say that like alotta folks out there in the internet world, I love to flirt too. It's fun, it''s entertaining and nine times outta ten it usually makes both the person you're doing it with and yourself feel good inside. Personally, I think the only time that flirting is truly "bad" and should be stopped is if it harms another human being (including oneself). Flirting should be something positive, perhaps even uplifting if you will - uplifting to the spirit, not the legs....shame on you, such dirty minds! 

Sometimes flirtations can lead to good friendships, or in some cases, even a full-fledged relationship. I know most people out there are extremely critical and sarcastic regarding that latter point but hey, those of you who feel that way really do need a bit of a reality check because I, as well as several friends of mine, have known many couples who originally met by having a mere online conversation which led to another conversation, and then phonecalls, visits, and before you know it, well, you get the picture. I'm not saying it happens all the time but I will say it can happen to anyone, and let's face it, true love usually happens when you least expect it, not when you plan it.

I dont think that connecting with someone special on the internet is anymore problematic then connecting with someone in person because in either scenario you most definitely dont wanna end up running into some fruitcake who is two-scallops-shy-of-Rumaki. In that regard, I suggest using mere common sense as well as having one or two contacts know when-n-where you are going to meet the individual and so on and so on.

Of course, there is yet another potential problem that can arise when connecting with other people online - when you find yourself having a special connection with more than just one person. I know, right now some folks are probaly thinking "Omg! That Spice person really is a major whore!!" No no no, let's get the following point established immediately - when you share a commitment with another indivdual and THEN you actively go whoring around with this-guy-n-that guy, THEN you are a major whore; but, IF one or more men are actively pursuing you with the intentions of sharing a commitment with you and AFTER almost an entire year, not one of them is stepping up to the plate in the commitment department, guess what Honey? That dont make you a whore at all, it simply means you are playing the field, just as your pursuers are. And, it also means that those who are pursuing you do not exactly know what the hell they want, let alone have the courage to admit that. By the same token, it's actually quite inevitable that the particular scenario of multiple love interests can and indeed does happen to most folks out there for one very simple reason - no two people connect and communicate at the same progression as another set of two people, and another and so on. Catch my drift?

If you're talking to one person online and/or over the phone 3 to 4 times a week and talking to another person online/over the phone almost daily, then even if you knew the 3 to 4 times weekly person much longer than the daily person, naturally you're gonna know the daily person much more in-depth because you two communicate more regularly. In other words, frequency of communication as well as quality of the communication between the two individuals is gonna be much more of a determining factor on exactly how far the relationship between those two people is gonna progress more than anything else.                                                                                                                                                                        

I'm not saying that there currently is more than one man interested in me but quite frankly, IF there was I would think it'd be extremely draining on an individual because again, the communication levels between each set of individuals would probaly give the effect that all parties involved are circling the airport but never coming in for a landing, so to say. And at some juncture in sucha scenario, I would naturally assume that one would have to closely evaluate each component of the situation and ask "Are these guys not moving forward because they cant or because they dont want to?" In addition, making certain that another person is not playing with your emotions or stringing you along, are also other hazards in the multiple love interest scenario. After all, life is too damned short to be playing games of any kind and in opinion, life is a gift where every moment is precious and should be savored to the fullest. So, in my humble opinion, it's better to be upfront and honest with yourself and others so that you both know where things stand at all times.

I'm glad I finally wrote and published this piece because I've actually begun writing it on 7 to 8 different occassions over the past year but kept shying away from it because when anyone labels you something such as a flirt, alotta folks can misconstrue that kind of thing. However, I think there is something that all the single folks out there need to keep in mind. It's okay to approach a possible relationship opportunity with the "No Expectations" logic but remember, when you use that logic to prevent the relationship from progressing to the next level of commitment, you're only using that logic as a mere excuse. Plus, you're also harming the person you're suppose to allegedly care about. So in other words, I'm really not the one hiding behind a mask here after all, am I, guys? Think about it. As always, thank you for reading.

 

Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo