A coupla months back, I dont remember the exact posting itself, I wrote a piece regarding the issue of Hiv'ers who both knowingly and carelessly infect others with this disease because their rationale is "Well, the person who gave it to me didnt bother telling me, so why should I personally give a shit about infecting others?" It was a pretty intense piece, to say the least, and if all the thoughts and feelings regarding what I am writing right now werent so important to me I woulda backtracked and located it for my readers; however, when emotions and mental focus are running high, I must stay true to the writing first.
The reason why I'm writing this piece is because earlier this afternoon when I was online I stumbled upon the actual obituary notice of one of the members of the Hiv+ couple whom I wrote about in that earlier piece. For what they did to that one college student, that I knew of, and however many countless others they may or may not have infected with the Hiv virus, I always swore that I'd be elated to hear of either or both of their deaths. Yes, said out of anger and deep frustration but guess what? I was wrong. I'm not elated that the one half of that Hiv+ couple is dead. As a matter of fact, I have no feelings of happiness or joy whatsoever because there's something I've learned since that incident took place a little over a decade ago - no matter what choices a person makes in their lifetime, every human life is precious and when even one is lost, it is a sad event.
Believe it or not, it took a lot for me to admit that to all of you just right now. Sure, there have been many times in this blog when I've literarily spewed out pure-fire-n-brimstone in regards to those individuals in this world who cause great injustices towards others, whom I totally abhor with all my heart-n-soul - and yes, perhaps even one or two folks whom I've secretly wished dead and wiped off the face of this planet. But, now as I sit back and think about it, I've come to realize that regardless of what kind of an emotional reaction another person invokes within ourselves, everything we experience in our lives happens for a reason and although we may not understand the reasoning at the time of the actual situation, it still needs to be established that we all connect with each other for some reason, whether it be a chain of events that encourages us to grow further outside of the box, or simply because it is what it is.
You see, it doesnt matter that the particular man I'm writing about in this piece did something that infuriated the living bejesus outta me, nor that we never spoke to each other or saw each other ever again after the night of that one incident. What is important is that regardless of how his life choices conflicted with mine, his life did matter. No matter how we interact with each other, whether agreeable or disagreeable, all of our lives matter.
So I guess that's the real reason I wrote this piece, not just to show that I have respect for all human life, but that regardless of how I've interacted with an individual while they were alive, whether it be good or bad, that does not devalue one iota how precious their life was to begin with. Sure, yes, I did need some closure to all of this, to what I read in that obituary earlier this afternoon but I'm not saying that for selfish reasons, I'm saying it because even though I did not agree with certain choices that he made in his life, that doesnt mean his life didnt matter in regards to the rest of the known universe because it most certainly did.
Yeah, I'm actually sad the guy is dead because he was a fellow human being who battled the same exact disease I and so many others are currently battling and it just rips at my heart that once again AIDS has claimed yet another victim. Sure, I'd love to tell you that I feel like a first-class hypocrite for implying how much I detested this man years ago and how I personally felt that he didnt deserve to live period; but, I can't say any of those things because along my path of life I've learned that it's much more healthier to accept someone for being an entire person, versus just the good or bad things they did in their lifetimes, as well as respect the fact that their lifetime did their life did mean something. Will I feel that way about other people whom I have disdain with or whom I may be actual enemies with? I dont know, but if it does indeed happen again within my lifetime, I'm just gonna accept it as a learning experience in life as well as understand even further that old saying that we never stop growing up throughout our lifetimes. I wish that kind of lifetime for all of us. Thank you for reading.
Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo
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