In my early days on the internet (around 1995 to 96) a good-sized group of my friends and myself would make it a point to meet nightly online (whenever we could that is) at my old chatroom "Pozland." We'd hash out how our days had been, bitch about our problems, crack jokes about the irony of our various situations, and in most cases lend a shoulder of comfort. There were so many people that use to come there to chat and I met some pretty amazing people in those days. But there was one who stood out above the rest.
I don't even remember his internet moniker but I do remember that his first name was Patrick, he was 26 or 27 at the time, he had been diagnosed Hiv+ 2 years prior and was a graphic artist. We were each other's sidekicks when it came to cracking jokes and it was nothing for he and I to stay up all night chatting and be the ones to "close" the chatroom late at night, sometimes as late as 3 to 4 a.m. in the morning (I always was a night-owl!).
One night when he entered the chatroom he private messaged me that he had sent me something in an email. Naturally, I just thought it was another piece of porn (back then I had the hots for this one porn star, Dino DiMarco - wonder whatever happened to him?) but when I opened it, I literally busted a gut laughing!
He had taken and made this large caricature of a kitchen spicerack - you know, the tradional two-tiered wooden kind that was popular back in the 70's and/or 80's - and on each of the spice bottles was written the name of a spice and some type of happy or frowning face; BUT, located between the spices Fennel and Marjoram was an itty bitty, teeny-tiny version of me, with my head slumped to one side and little z's coming out of my little mouth!!! It was the MOST FUNNIEST caricature I have ever ever seen in my entire life and I will never forget it for as long as I live! The caption above it was "Time For All Good Spices To Call It A Night!" and he signed it, "Love, Lillies & Lilacs, Patrick."
I know some of you are probaly thinking "Boy, the meds are really doing a number on Spice arent they??" and perhaps some of you may not see any humor in this whatsoever, but the memory of that cariacture was actually one of the funniest things that helped pull me through what I call my cancer period. Whenever I felt like crying from the pain of those oncology nurses switching iv's from arm to arm, or just felt downright lousy from what I was going through, the memory of that caricature made me smile and laugh all over again. I remember one nurse at the clinic use to tell me every morning as she was setting up my free mustard-gas-based iv's (yes, some of those drugs are the equivalent of the same exact garbage that killed people in WW I)"Focus on something hilarious when I put these in." Well, I did just that - and I have my friend Patrick to thank for that.
It's funny how sometimes the most simplest things, the things most folks might take for granted, can cause some of the biggest and most positive impacts in our lives.
Back then, as I'm sure it's this way now too, when you didnt pay your monthly internet bill, depending on who your server was, those accounts were automatically shut-down and their files discarded. When I got out of the hospital, my files were gone, my address books erased, etc., and not only did I lose that email with the caricature in it but naturally my only contact with Patrick as well. It was like my entire internet history had vanished, like I hadda rug pulled out from beneath me - and I did. Up until the time I joined Facebook as well as created this blog, you could google my nic and nothing would come up. Perhaps that's still the case, I havent checked it in ages...lol.
I wouldn't even know how to begin looking for Patrick but I do know one thing - by one simple, unselfish gesture, he impacted my life more than he could ever know. I just pray he's still alive and hanging in there. I miss my Friend and I will never forget him. And I know the chances of this happening are about as probable as the TITANIC being raised and put back into service, but if you're still out there, contact me. Either way, thank you Patrick for making a difference.
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