Usually when it comes to Memorial Day observances and/or memoriams the majority of folks automatically think of all those brave men and women who fought and sacrificed their lives in service to their respective countries and aptly so because I feel we should have sucha day set aside to remember and honor all those brave individuals who went above and beyond the call of duty in proudly serving their country and securing the safety of those of us here on the homefront. But over the years I think the significance of this special day has justifiably been expanded to include not just every individual who has fought and/or succumbed while valiantly fighting on any particular battlefront, but also include those who have fought "the good fight" and lived to tell about it, such as when it comes to battling various diseases such as Hiv/AIDS, cancer and a host of other scenarioes that have become so much a part of the human experience. Regardless of how any of us looks at it, I think that Memorial Day should be like every other special day of observance in human history - it should be whatever you personally feel it should be, there is no right or wrong etiquette regarding it.
Of course, when it comes to remembering those fine people who sacrificed their lives in securing freedom and democracy for the rest of us, one cant help but think of those who were victims, perhaps even mere bystanders, in events such as world wars. On every Memorial Day, I not only think of all my uncles, cousins and other family members who proudly served the USA and fought to protect for this country in World War I, World War II, the Korean War, Vietnam and Desert Storm, but I especially think of my relatives who were taken quite by surprise at Pearl Harbor (as was everyone else that fateful day), those relatives in Russia who died in World War I when their villages were leveled by the German military machines, and those who died over 20 years later in the concentration camp Theriesenstadt. After all, just because a family member, a distant relative, a loved one, a friend or someone who was a personal hero to us in one way or another died in a non-military capacity at the time of their deaths does not mean that their deaths affected our existences any less significantly. As a matter of fact, quite the contrary in most cases. I still think that to a degree alotta people out there automatically think "Well, this-or-that person didnt serve in the military so we really cant honor them on this day." That's sucha loada crap - if anyone out there has made a difference in your life, regardless of the degree of that difference, you should never think twice about not only honoring them on Memorial Day but on any day you damn well please, and as often as you damn well please too.
As for my fellow Hiv'ers and those who developed full-blown AIDS and have since passed away, as well as those who are currently battling it, I remember them not just every day but I especially think of them on Memorial Day. By the late 1980's there were thousands of us in both the GLBTQ and Hiv/AIDS communities who totally identified with the widely-coined sentiment "So many of our friends and loved ones have died and are dying that we can literally rip out page after page of names in our address books." I know that when my Jack was alive and even after he died, that was (and still is) my personal experience. Out of heartfelt remembrance, not morbidity, I can truthfuly share with you that the amount of people I have personally known, as extended family members, close confidantes and even dear correspondents, who have passed on before me since this terrible epidemic began in the early 1980's has now reached an unimaginable - and therefore unforgetable - total of 578 people. For some folks out there that may not seem like a lot in the last 30 years but in my opinion that is way beyond too many. Hell, even knowing 2 or more people who have died from AIDS is way too many if you ask me. That number sounds like a helluva lotta people to keep close in one's heart but I have, I do and I always will, not just because I have a huge heart, but because to think for even one nano-second that not one of those 578 kind and gracious people I was blessed enough to know in my lifetime didnt matter would be a blasphemy against human life itself. We all matter, we all make our imprints on this world and the lives we encounter on our life paths. And that's something that not even death itself will never take away.
And on that note, I'd like to close this piece by giving special reverence to all those who have fought the good fight and gone on before me, not just all my relatives who fought in various military conflicts the world over, but especially to those who fought that good fight against AIDS and who showed me that fighting for your own quality of life and for your own rights are quinessentially the most important and most crucial battles some of us will ever encounter in our entire lives. Sending extra-special thanks to people like my Jack, Bobbi Campbell, Vito Russo and Lance Loud, as well as to everyone else who has made such a profound impact in my life. Thank you for reading.
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