The issue of pictures/photographs. Hey, I think that's a great idea, letting others see the real person they are typing to, makes perfect sense to me. BUT, here's where I personally have a problem with that - aside from the photo posted on my real account, which the only difference between the way I look in it then and now is that I've lost about 17 to 20 lbs since that photo was taken, there won't be any new pics of me anytime soon and here is why - because I was forced outta the closet as an Hiv'er by Facebook itself and since I had no choice in that matter, I'll be damned if I'm gonna surrender anymore choicemaking decisions in the near future. I'm still dealing mentally with all of this and the last thing I wanna do at this particular point in time is say "Hey everybody!!! Look at me!!! 5 to 7 new photos of the artist formerly known as HivSpice, all for your viewing pleasure!!!" Point blank, I don't think so motherfucker. However, when I'm ready to post new pics of myself online, trust me, y'all will be the first to know, okay?
Speaking of selfies and what-not, that is something that I've noticed moreso now than ever before when it comes to being online - people are STILL fairly obsessed with what other people look like. And that just blows my mind, it really does. You would think that in the age of Hiv/AIDS which we're currently still living in, people would FINALLY realize that yes, physical looks may play a role in how 2 individuals relate/connect with each other BUT THAT should be a very minor part of any relationship, it's a person's personality and strength of character that should be the crowning prizes of the overall individual. But, it just ain't so. And that's okay, but let's get something straight right away with anyone who may consider approaching me for an interpersonal relationship....
....I am NOT a gym clone, I'm extremely lucky to be alive(!)...I'm not in my 20's, they are far behind me...I am NOT a trophy husband, those days ended way back in the late 1980's for me, kids...what I am is justa nice, decent, average-looking, honest, hardworking individual who happens to be gay, who happens to be a 26 year survivor of being Hiv+, and who would LOVE to find that special someone, especially since 50 looms closer and closer with each passing day! lol...seriously though, there is nothing fancy or extravagant about me, I'm probaly the most simplest (and perhaps even dull in some cases, I suppose)and down-to-earth person you will ever wanna meet. And that about sums it up. So if you not interested or can't handle what I am, then please, by all means, you know where the curb is. I don't need anymore bullshit in my life than I am already contending with and I'd almost bet my bottom dollar that you don't either.
What do I want most from that future special person in my life? It's rather simple and just like me - be real. All I want is a real person. Don't think of ways to try and impress me because quite frankly, my ability to be impressed by anyone out there died a long, long time ago. Just be yourself, keep it real, be honest and all that other good stuff and chances are that those things will make more of an impression on me than anything else.
I mentioned in my previous blog entry that there hasn't been any majorly negative fallout from me revealing - more like being coerced - my real identity; but, there's something that no one has bothered to take into consideration regarding me and I think this needs to be addressed right away - IF any of the media demons from my past stumble across me from here on out and attempt to make contact and/or start "shit" with me, you better make certain that THAT kinda scenario isn't gonna make you flip out and run away. I've dealt with them in the past and already know how to deal with those characters (actually, the more proper word would be "bastards" no lie), but if you're not sure, then you gotta speak up and keep your cards up on the table, where they should be anyways, know what I mean Sparky? I'm not saying any of this is gonna happen BUT I've been around long enough as well as been through enough things in my life to know that rather than be positive, negative, or whatever, it's best to be prepared, just in case. So please take this cautionary stance as just part of a mere reality check should you and I find ourselves bonding with each other.
No, this post is NOT directed towards any individual in particular, it's simply my stance on this whole relationship business since people can now see the real person behind HivSpice and that really is basically about it. I guess maybe we could even call this little essay a disclaimer in regards to my stance on interpersonal relationships, but hell, even I don't need to be that dramatic. I am who I am and hopefully you will like me and get to know me better; but, if for some reason you choose not to, oh well, que sera sera, because when it really boils down to it, I plan to keep on keeping on either way. And you should too. Thank you everyone for taking the time to read this.
I feel a twinge narcissistic writing about the horrible time my aging body has when it comes to dealing with heatwaves, especially the one that we're all experiencing this week here in the Boston area but I'm hoping that by doing so it will help folks to not only realize why I drop off the internet map during such times of personal distress as well as help others who have similiar experiences with our nations erratic weather patterns realize that they indeed are not alone on this particular battlefront.
What basically happens every time we have heatwaves of 90+ temperatures and unbearable 55+ humidity levels, is that my body literally falls apart inside and I get sick. Sometimes very sick, in the physically ill sense. Trust me, this isn't just about hating hot weather and pissnin-n-moanin about it and how it makes me feel slimey and gross all over, what happens to me is very very much real. And, these manisfestations don't happen in any particular order they merely happen when they happen and as often as they like to happen. I have named such maladies using very simply laymans terms and they are as follows...
Heat Headaches. I don't know which is worse, a sinus headache or a heat headache, because even though the severity of pain is very similiar, usually a sinus headache can be taken care of with some simple over-the-counter pain medications, whereas with a heat headache you just have to wade it out and it's not fun, not just when you have to go to work but even when you come home and try to relax too.
I have no magical suggestions on how anyone can successfully conquer the human body's aversion to heat-n-humidity induced physical illness though I sure wish I did. All I know is what my doctors, and many-a local weather forecasters, have told me - during such times, try to stay indoors as much as possible, stay as cool as possible regardless of the method (swimming, air-conditioning, cool to lukewarm showers, freezing ones undergarments for about 20 minutes before using, etc.) drink plenty of water, whether chilled or at room temperature; and, IF you must go outdoors, make certain you put on a sunscreen containing an appropriate SPF level (I personally don't use anything lower than an SPF of 30) at least a good 20 minutes before going outside. In other words, take as good of care of yourself as you can because heat exhaustion can be a very serious life-threatening situation if one isn't too careful.
I've been debating for the last coupla weeks about whether or not to write about this subject because not only have I previously written about it in this blog, but the definition of this term is just like an opinion - everybody has one. I realize that sounds cliche but as somebody who usually receives a myriad of answers to the question "Why are you under the impression that I am popular?" it can be perplexing, even downright confusing. Perhaps a better question would be "That's great but exactly what is your definition of that term?"
Oh sure, there is that teeny tiny space that I hold in the vast realm of GLBTQ history because of whom my partner was but as proud and silently revereful as I am towards that era in my life, let's face it, to the countless members of the younger generations who aren't even the least bit familliar with who and what Harvey Milk & George Moscone were all about, I really am considered an old dinosaur in that sense, ancient history if you will. 
Regardless of the past, present and/or future, I only wanna be "popular" in 2 senses of the word. First, I wanna be respected as someone who did everything he possibly could in waging the war against (as well as educating) this terrible monster called the Hiv/AIDS epidemic. Someday after I'm gone I'm hoping that at least a few folks will say "Damn, he did the best he could to save lives and comfort others. Second, if "popularity" can be gaged on the amount of people whom truly love and care about you, as well as who your true friends really really are, then I wanna be one of the top contenders when it comes to that because everything I say and do isn't soley for my own benefit but for the benefit of others. People - but especially my fellow Hiv'ers and PWAS - need to know that there really is someone out there who genuinely cares about what happens to them and if I can't be that to others, then what the hell is there?
Wow, now I do feel bad because I thought it's been only about a month since I've written here in "Luctor Et Emergo" but in reality it's been over a month! I realize that shouldn't matter either way for it is my blog but I'm one of those people who prefers to keep on with keeping on as they say. I realize there are gonna be times when I'm just not gonna have time to write as much as I'd like to and this past month or so of dealing with my new job and my new home was one of those times butchy'all know what I mean, I'm always gonna do my best as much as I can.
I personally am AGAINST changing the actual name, the actual meaning of AIDS as a disease, as it being the 2nd phase of being Hiv+ and so on and so on and I'll tell you why.
In addition, by intentionally downgrading the severity of the AIDS epidemic, these Hiv- politically correct terminologists and theorists automatically divert the focus on research and finding a cure for AIDS, which in turn affects the quality of life for those of us still battling the disease. Think about it. If any group of persons approached you with the concept of "Well, you know that disease you have, the one that's eventually gonna rob you of your life? We've decided to re-classify it because we're so bored with it that we simply don't know what else to do with ourselves!!" you'd be pretty damn fired up and outraged too.
Priorities, it's all about priorities people and regardless of what any of us may or may not believe from a theological and/or spiritual context, as far as any of us knows we only get one shot at this lifetime and I dunno about the rest of you but I plan to secure and preserve my opportunities at makling this life last as long and as fully as I possibly can. So although changing the name of AIDS and what it means to the world in general is not a top priority of mine by any means, I definitely do not agree that it should be a top priority for anyone else on this planet either. Research, more affordable better drugs, better care options and a cure, those are the goals we need to keep our sights set on. Thank you for reading.
Though I had originally planned on returning to a more frequent writing schedule within this blog the last time I wrote in it, that simply hasn't happened because lately I've been extremely pre-occupied with all the good things currently taking place in my life - my new job, my new apartment (which I should be totally moved into by the end of next week/weekend) and just the all around general atmosphere that things in my life are definitely and FINALLY taking a turn for the better in my life. Of course, that's not to say that life is a bed of roses but let's just say there haven't been as many pricks lately!
Ironically, all the aforementioned perks are also exactly why I am so grateful and eager to be moving away from the city because my new life situation is gonna be so much better for me all around. A new job, a new apartment and best of all, everything within my immediate environment, not only centrally located just as it was for me in the downtown Boston area BUT ALL at a more affordable living expenses range! Oh rapture over and over again on that one single count. No more worrying about how this-or-that change in my prescription coverage is gonna dictate how I distribute my monthly funds for bills, for rent, for everything. From here on out, every aspect of my daily survival will be configured to a safe, stable, steady income that should be more than enough to ensure my continued survival as well as even having a few extra bucks left over each week to put into this-n-that fund. After all, with the way our national economy has been in the past 5 years, I think that both myself and anyone else who's a fellow passenger in the same boat as myself should be beyond ecstatic about this, don't you? Or as I've posted recently on Facebook, "Life is good, Batman." 
Even though I realize that our loved ones who have passed on before us are always with us, no matter where we go or where we are, in the back of my mind I still worry about Jack. Every time I go to fill up a packing box or send out a change of address notice, I stop, I pause and I say to myself "Oh my gawd, what if he needs me and he can't find me? What do I do then?" I know that's just my heart and subconscious talking to me, that special place within me that will always miss him coming through, but again, it still doesn't make it any easier to deal with mentally. In my mind I know that he'll know where to find me should he ever need me but in my heart I just fall to pieces about it sometimes. I've even hadda a coupla nightmares about this during the last month, yet in every one of those nightmares there has always been a period of where at first I hear him saying "I can't find you, I can't find you!" followed several minutes later with him saying "There you are...." and then the nightmare dissipating into a dream that ends with us holding each other in our arms. I mean, I know that I carry Jack in that special place in my heart that is reserved especially for him (you know, just that one part, so that it frees up the rest of ones heart for the next special someone to come along; after all, life does go on.....) and he'll always be with me there and in my memories, but it's just kinda ironic in a way that whenever something really really good happens in our lives, that part of us that is insecure about the unknown factors of those good situations can sometimes invoke all kinds of mixed emotions about our previous life sitiations which do not have one iota of connection to the present - at least for the most part.
So yeah, I'm beyond thankful that like George-n-Weezy I am truly moving up in life again and wow, I sure as hell didn't expect for it to happen this much later in my life but then again all the good fortune I've been experiencing in my life for the last month or so is living proof that age truly is nothing but chronological. You're never too old to start a new beginning in your life and regardless of all the gems of wisdom we learn along the way, you truly don't know exactly what is gonna happen around the next corner, you just have to always hope that it's something damn near spectacular and even moreso, that you'e ready for it, whatever it may be. Thank you for reading.
The answer is quite simple - human egotism. It's perfectly okay for anyone to start an Hiv/AIDS support group (or any other type of group for that matter) on Facebook, and pour ones heart-n-soul into that group to make it a warm, welcoming place for all of its members; a place where there is great commaraderie; and, most importantly, a place where people feel comfortable enough to be themselves without any worries or concerns whatsoever. However, when a group's founding member(s) does so with the obvious intentions of feeding their already over-inflated ego and their insatiable thirst for winning popularity contest after popularity contest, all with their own brand of self-centered bravado which literally screams "Oh look at me!! Aren't I just soo wonderful?? Dontcha just wanna be a part of my fantastic in-crowd??" then that's when it's time for everyone to re-evaluate their "membership" in such alleged "support" groups.
Of course, the final tip-off for me regarding the true colors of the upper echelons of this particular Hiv/AIDS "support" group was when such members actually started to court me into becoming more active within the group. Okay, it's actually been more like ass-kissing than courting but you get the picture. Instantly I thought to myself "Oh, so now that your own idea of internet nirvana is falling apart, now you find the urge to wanna reach out to me and attempt to embrace me?" That's the type of prebuscent, romper-room-like environment that people who are battling a disease as serious as Hiv/AIDS are suppose to look forward to when joining any of the Hiv/AIDS "support" groups? I don't think so.
Over the years a few of my more closer friends have cautioned me about being a member of any of the online Hiv/AIDS "support" groups because the bullshit which takes place in them could eventually wear down and erode my focus on the cause and I gotta admit, I didn't realize how much that could be the case until the last few months. My friends were right. So from here on out I will become a member of any group (let alone remain a member of the groups which I currently belong to) only if I get something out of it that helps me personally enrich my life for the better. Any reasoning other than that simply doesn't warrant me joining a group because when it really boils down to it, when the collective whole of any group is tossed to the wayside due to things such as egotism and vanity, why then would anyone in their right mind wanna be a member of any such group? I know I don't. And, in my opinion, I think every Hiv'er out there would be better off to find a group where Hiv/AIDS "support" truly is the only game in town. Thank you for reading.
Now I very well know that there are A LOT of people out there who aren't too thrilled with anything having to do with Stephanie Meyer's "The Twilight Saga," of books and films; so, if you are not a Twilight enthusiast to any degree, please, by all means, just skip over this blog entry altogether because regardless of how much others may piss-n-moan about the Twilight series of books and/or films that is what I'm writing about because I have not only enjoyed seeing all the Twilight Saga movies thus far, but this past month I completed reading all 4 books in the series and lemme tell you, they bowled me over. I still can't believe what good reads those 4 books were, especially the last in the series, "Breaking Dawn." I was truly entranced from beginning to end reading that book and its 3 predecessors. Fabulous, fantastic reading if you ask me.
As a matter of fact, the only discreptancy that I found in the books storylines being told via the silver screen is that there were some parts of the books "New Moon," "Eclipse," and "Breaking Dawn" that were switched around just a tiny bit in the films. As an example, in the film versions there were parts of "New Moon" in the "Eclipse" film and vice-versa and naturally I would love to tell you exactly which ones but they are fairly irrelevant in the collective overall storyline of the book series that it's really not necessary for me to do so. Plus, I dont wanna ruin anything for future readers and viewers of the books and films. 
Upon my completion of reading the entire "Twilight Saga" series of books, there was one extremely interesting angle that I did come across which really struck a chord or two with me which I would like to share with others, again, without spoling the storylines/plotlines to future readers/ viewers of the books/films. Naturally, I will not be listing the page numbers and exact quoted areas from the books because unlike the textbooks which I use to so thoroughly annotate back in my college days, I just went along with the natural flow of reading.
No, I'm not implying that I believe in vampires (or even werewolves for that matter), nor am I suggesting that anyone keeps their minds open to believing that such creatures exist but this line of rationale that was presented in the book by one of its central characters goes beyond people fearing the unknown as well as things they simply do not understand and/or can mentally grasp. I mean. When it really boils down to it, when you take away all the Hollywood filmmakers interpretations of what the world of both vampires and werewolves is all about, something which we've all been spoonfed about for the last 80+ years or so, and set all of that aside, all you really have left are the centuries old myths and legends regarding such creatures, which in turn makes you wonder, are they just mere stories that people made up to scare themselves during the Dark ages, or is there indeed some tiny kernel of truth to them? But what indeed is the true basis for those myths and legends? Did the storytellers of yestercentury create such stories as their way of implying that both vampires and werewolves exist as a means to keep the population explosions under control, or were such stories penned as a mere form of entertainment at a time when there hardly was any?
After all, those myths and legends were created for a reason and even if most people do regard them as purely unadulterated bullshit, I will venture to say the following - IF there were even a minute inkling of scientific and/or biological proof that either species of creatures truly did and/or do exist, I for one would definitely approach such proof with an open mind because in this day-n-age where the belief that there are alien life forms other than our own which do exist out there in the universe is becoming more and more widely accepted, isn't it kind of odd that when the average person is asked if they believe in vampires and/or werewolves - both legendary creatures here on the good ole' planet Earth - most people respond with a smile or a chuckle and say "Are you friggin nuts??" After all, aren't the little green men from Mars as much of a myth and/or legend as are Count Dracula and the Wolfman? Makes one wonder sometimes, doesn't it?
As much as I do enjoy and appreciate the "Twilight Saga" series of books and films, I think that as long as the Hollywood filmmakers can make a quick buck off of such stories, they will do so, regardless of how many sequels are involved in the process; however, one thing that cannot be denied is that whenever any piece of literature or any frame of film makes a person think and wonder about the world around them, it's really not such a bad thing after all. Besides, when you really analyze it, the "Twilight Saga" is more of a love story than a horror story anyways. In fact, I think it illustrates something that we GLBTQ folks have known for many centuries ourselves - it doesn't matter how different two people are from each other, if they really truly love each other, anything is possible. I know alotta folks have teased me and said that everything to do with the "Twilight Saga" is mainly intended for all the droves of young teenage girls in the world but I disagree, I think the storyline is relevant for people of all ages and from all walks of life. And that is always a good thing because when something as harmless as a great fictional story can connect groups of people into a collective whole, well then, there certainly is nothing wrong with that. Thank you for reading.
I'm notta spectator sports person by any means, let alone a sports-loving person period; however, no 
My problem with wearing any sports team-orientated apparel of any kind is this - people who automatically assume that when one is wearing such items, that instantaneously makes them a huge sports fan. Oh my gawd, nothing could be further from the truth, especially when it comes to me. You wont find me drinking a bottle of beer, chomping on a handful of pretzels, itching my butt, readjusting my package and belching quite profusely as I sit in front of the tv cheering my favorite sports teams. No Sirree, cause that's just not me. Trust me, your chances of finding me browsing through a Macy's White Sale or checking out the latest men's cologne by Chanel (go Bleu de Chanel!! 85 bucks a pop, dayum!) are far far greater. But that's not the point either.
I now have zero-tolerance with peoples assumption on this sports fan crap and I just can't take it anymore. Wherever I go, regardless of what sports-team-based items I'm wearing, sports freaks (as I now call them) automatically start chatting me up, right outta the blue, no matter what the hell I'm doing. Whether I'm at the grocery store, standing in line to get gas for one of the company vehicles from work, or even stopping by the local deli to pick up a mere salad, these sports freaks crawl out from the woodwork, the crown molding, the tile floors - you name it - and automatically make a bee-line for me. It perplexes the living hell outta me.
Allow me to illustrate the absurdity of this bizarre phenomena. One night a coupla months ago I was at one of the local deli's not too far away from my apartment building picking up some broccolli salad for my lunch the next day and one of the young men waiting on me said to me, right outta the blue, "Can you believe what he said on tv last night? Isnt that something else?" I looked around to make certain he was speaking to me and shot him a bewildered look, as he motioned to my Red Sox baseball cap on my head, so I politely said "No, I can't, can you?" And then, this young man proceeded to go into an 11 minute and 48 second dissertation about whoever the hell he was talking about in regards to the Boston Red Sox. I assume the team manager? Or the team owner? Or someone very close to the team, perhaps?
So the entire time the guy is talking, I'm literally cringing inside and saying to myself in my mind "Oh God, no!!! It's happening again!! Who the fuck is he talking about?? And why is he telling me all this shit?? Why I give as much a rat's ass about what he's saying as I would hearing about what type of bras those Kardashian tramps are wearing!!" I then thought to myself "My God, there has got to be a way to curt-tail people talking about shit I know nothing about to me like this! It has to stop!! It must!!" Then it hit me, about a minute or two before he ended his sports-loving tirade. Humor. I have always utilized humor to pull me through some of the most ridiculous public moments in my entire life. I thought to myself "No time like the present to give it another try!"
Immediately I politely interrupted him without causing a scene at the deli counter, by letting out a small laugh and saying "Oh hey, sorry, I don't get into any of that sports crap, I only wear caps like these because quite frankly, I look cute in them. Or at least that's what my boyfriend tells me!" He stopped, and with a huge laugh and his eyes bulging outta his head further than comedian Marty Feldman's, responded with a hearty, yet sincere, response of "Oh hey mister, that's cool, sorry about that, my little brother is gay and it's kewl." I smiled, thanked him for getting my salad for me and politely walked away with a sense of empowerment like you would not believe! Thank gawd it worked. 
Ever since that evening THAT is the same exact explanation I have used whenever I have found myself in sucha scenario - and it still works! Anytime I say those lines, everyone always laughs and more or less responds the same exact way that young man at the deli did - apologetically and always with a fairly pleasent, accepting smile. Of course the ironic thing about all of this, is that it's true. Not to brag but I do look kinda good when I'm casually dressed and sporting a simple baseball cap. I hope I always will because that look also happens to be what I'm most comfortable with when I'm not at work.
So for all you big sports fans out there, please, try to take into consideration that just because there are those of us who believe in showing support for the teams via a more quiet, more subtle way such as donning a cap or a shirt, it doesnt mean we are the sports triva fanatics that some of you out there are, nor does it make us any lesser fans than the rest of y'all. We want the teams to win just as much as everybody else does; but, that doesnt mean we have to show it by uncontrollably talking everyone's ear off in regards to things such as team ethics and the like. For those of you out there who do that kinda crap, please, just knock it off already, okay? If you wanna make a statement, do what I do - throw on a cap and look cute. Thank you for reading.
If you're fortunate enough to have a Whole Foods Market (WFM) or even a Trader Joe's market in your local vicinity, please do make it a point to visit such stores because they have practically every kind of all-natural, organic product that you could ever possibly imagine available on their shelves. From organic meats and veggies and baked goods, to all-natural soaps, toothpastes and the like, such stores are very fun to shop at it, even if you're out and about merely window-shopping. Even though you'll find people from all walks of life shopping at Whole Foods, there is a certain shopping contingent of which I will take the liberty of forewarning you about before you cross the front entrance threshold of the store - the Women Shoppers of Whole Foods Market. They're absolutely not your average run-of-the-mill female retail queens. They fall into 2 distinct categories which will be unmistakable in detecting once you're inside the store - the All-Natural Attitude Queens (ANAQ's) and the Hoyty-Toyty Shallow Dwellers (HTSD's). I'll provide an informative description of each in this blog entry and after reading what I have to say, you'll know who and what to steer clear of whenever you shop at your local Whole Foods Market.
But before I steam full speed ahead into this entry, a major side-note. In all the years that I have shopped at Trader Joe's, I have never once experienced running into either type of women shopper in the aforementioned paragraph. Trader Joe's actually has a good-home feel to it and their prices are far more reasonable than WFM. They may not have as large of a selection of products as WFM but they still provide a very decent selection of products as well as special promotions and sales on a regular basis. Truth be told, if I had to choose between these two stores, Trader Joe's would without a doubt win hands-down every single time. The variety of products, the helpful knowledge of the clerks, as well as their warm, friendly personalities truly make every shopping experience there unique. Seriously. If for some reason you don't believe me, spend about a half hour outside of each of the two stores as customers are leaving and you'll notice immediately which one ALWAYS has smiling, happy, content customers coming outta it. 
I suppose if both the ANAQ's and HTSD's didn't irk me so much whenever I frequent WFM, I wouldn't even be writing about them; but, after having to contend with both so much after all these years of living in the Boston area I thought it high-time to stand up and blow the whistle on these broads because I swear to you, with their self-righteous, pompous, arrogant airs and attitudes, it just makes a person wanna yell up to the Creator of the Universe "Are you most certain you had humanity in mind when you created these nasty bitches?!?!" Granted, perhaps the Women Shoppers of WFM in other peoples local neck-of-the-woods aren't so transparent, but they most certainly are here on the Eastern seaboard and whew, whatta lot to deal with.
The All-Natural Attitude Queens (ANAQ's) are 10 times more easier to detect than a tornado racing down Main Street in your local hometown. Please rest assured that after encountering one or more of them in the aisles of WFM, the first words that are gonna come to your mind, or possibly outta your mouth, is - "Who the fuck do you think you are?!?" In summing up their characteristics...they are the women who you'll see walking through the store with no make-up on, their hair either pulled back or upward or in a giant ponytail, wearing casual clothes, sticking their noses up about an extra 6 to 7 inches above the chin level of the average human being, their eyes bulging outward like two giant toilet seats, and they'll look at you as if they are saying "See! Look at me! I'm all-natural, no-cosmetics on my face, no perfume, no scented body-mist of any kind and gawddamn it, I may look like shit and my breath may stink to high heaven due to my over-use of non-alcohol based mouthwashes, but here I am and I AM a better person than you could ever possibly dream of being!!!" Yes, I'm serious and yes, you guessed right - some major self-esteem and insecurity issues are the dominating forces in their psychological profiles.
This particular type of women shopper does exist in the aisles of WFM and they have got to be one of the most freakish, unnerving type of fellow shoppers that I've ever encountered in my entire life. The most ironic thing about them is that they do indeed live in a illusion of grandeur because they don't realize that by behaving that way in public they are so desperately failing at trying to create their own substitute for self-esteem. Making oneself literally look extremely unattractive, both on the inside and the outside, and then drawing attention to it does not make one better than another person. It just shows the rest of the world what major personality flaws a person has. Should I ever find myself in a verbal entanglement with an ANAQ, I already know exactly what I'll say to them - "Don't be pushing your freakish attitude on me Sweetie. You need to get to the store bathroom, take a good long look in the mirror and do something about yourself. Brush your hair and make it pretty, throw on some lipstick and perhaps a touch of mascara, fix yourself up, make yourself look at least fairly presentable when you're shopping out in public for mercy's sake!" 
One of the most pathetic things about the ANAQ's is when they converse with each other.Try listening in to one of their conversations sometime, for it will literally make you laugh your ass off. You'll hear them saying "Well, my husband likes this-n-that on me" in regards to the all-natural toiletry products, especially those which are Patchouli or Sandlewood scented, yet when you take one short look at an ANAQ it makes you just wanna walk up to them, tug on their coat collar and say "Like, omg, who do you think you're trying to fool?? Your husband, nor any other human being for that matter, is gonna wanna sleep with someone as nasty-looking and foul-smelling as you! Now go get some Dial soap and some Colgate toothpaste and fix yourself up!" They are about as ridiculous to deal with as the second group of women shoppers you'll encounter at WFM.
The Hoyty-Toyty-Shallow-Dwellers (HTSD's) are equally impossible to miss when shop-carting the aisles of WFM. These broads are more than just a bunch of wealthy, high-faluting denizens of upper-crust-society who literally think their shit smells like Chanel No. 5. Their attitudes might as well be plastered on their foreheads as they prance down the aisles with their fairly laden carts, their noses extended upward, as is the case with their sisters-in-dredge, the ANAQ's; but, they will give you a glance that reads, "Well, I'm rich and I'm buying all these wonderful products not just because they are healthy for my children and my entire family, but BECAUSE I CAN!!!" Hey, doesn't matter if a woman is rich or not, if she wants to be proud for making the wisest nutritional choices for her children and the rest of her family, all the more power to her; however, by the same token, that doesn't give her the right to act like a negative, condescending, downright major thunder-you-know-what about it. In addition, just how healthy and nutritional is alotta the stuff at WFM to begin with? Allow me to tell you a story about that....
Picture it....Whole Foods Market....Framingham, Massachusetts....2004....I'm in the frozen organic prepared meal sections at the store when I run into an HTSD who appears like she cant make up her mind about purchasing a package of a certain name brand of enchilada's. She looks over at me, smirks and says "Excuse me, do you know anything about these?" as if I was a noble servant there to serve his master. At that time I had just quit smoking, going on 4 weeks, so you can only imagine what I really wanted to say to her "Uhm, you don't really need your esophagus, do you??" But instead, being the nicey-nice Mr. Nice Guy I am, I responded "Why yes, I have and I wouldn't waste my money on those things." She looked at me shocked and astonished that I would be so blunt, so she went a bit on the defense and said "Well, my son is a vegetarian and he LOVES this product, so I'm going to get them for him!" to which I said "Then why the hell didja bother asking me??" She pulled her cart back several inches or so, apparently startled by the way that I responded in her direction. Then she said "Well, what exactly is wrong with these, Sir?" to which I said "Are you sure you even wanna hear about it?" to which she said "Why yes Dear, enlighten me" to which I said "Why of course, Dear" to which the scene of me pushing her head through a watermellon and telling the store custodian on my way out the door "Sorry for that little incident in Aisle 7, Sir! " did flash through my mind. I then proceeded to explain to her exactly what the problem with the product was.
So there's my take on the Women Shoppers of Whole Foods Market. As frustrating and downright nauseating as it is to deal with them at times, I don't wish any of them ill harm, I only wish they would wake up and come to terms with their personality and character flaws BEFORE they decide to interact with other members of the general shopping public. I mean, c'mon, unless you've just slapped a bandana on your head and are heading out to your local laundromat to do laundry, most people do compose themselves before entering the various public venues we all frequent. In other words, both categories of women shoppers should have to abide by the same rules of proper social etiquette just like the rest of us do, they should not be the exception to that rule. It's perfectly okay to feel proud that you're food/product-shopping in a store that you personally feel is the bee's knees when it comes to shopping; but, by the same token, that doesn't give you the ordained right to be as rude and indignant about it as you like, nor does it make you any better than another person. The majority of us are all adults and for those of us who don't act that way, such people need to grow up because there is no reason why we all cant shop together nicely. Thank you for reading.
Finally, I get to sit down and write this piece, a piece which I have now written a total of 4 times. Yes, that many times because the first 3 times I wrote it, every single copy was lost, all thanks due to the mechanical workings of Posterous.com. I suppose some critics of Madonna might think "Well geese Spice, if you lost it that many times, isnt that telling you something??" As a matter of fact, it is. It's telling me that I should never give up, that I should always persevere when it comes to my writing, regardless of the obstacles and the subject material of each piece that I pen.
Just so you know upfront, this isnt gonna be a piece about me defending Madonna's performance at this year's Superbowl Half-Time game (though I have included many images from that particular performance just to show my Madonna-fan-solidarity) because quite frankly I have to see it. Yep, as much as I adore that woman, sorry, spectator sports of any kind just arent my bag. Personally, I'd rather be shopping atta Macy's White Sale or checking out the newest scents at their men's cologne counter. The reason why I am writing this piece is because I will be defending Madonna, but from a different angle and after writing this piece as many times as I have, I think this final attempt should prove most successful. One can only hope.
Music appreciation, as well as interpretation, is strictly a matter of personal choice and taste, the same exact way in which one looks at a piece of artwork hanging at a local art gallery or in a national museum - no two people are gonna have the same exact reaction towards it unless, of course, they are fans of that particular artist and/or art form. Not to bring a 3rd party into this piece, but please allow me to use the singer/songwriter Adele as a textbook example of this. Everyone in the world - well, almost everyone - simply adores her voice, her style of singing and la-dee-dah, la-dee-dah; but, not me. I dont know what it is about her but I get nothing from her music or her person. As a matter of fact, her voice actually irritates the living bejesus of me. Does that mean that everyone should follow my opinion of her? Hell no, that's one of the greatest things about music, we all are entitled to our own opinion of music, whether it be a personal chord that a song has struck within us, or whether a certain songs bass quality sounds so much better blaring outta the window as we speed down the highway. 
In other words, if you like or dislike a particular musician or song or whatever, you definitely have the right to voice your own opinion on that. I have no problem with that whatsoever. Yeah, really. However, what I do have a problem with is how people automatically assume they have the universe-given right to judge a musician based only on partial amounts of information they have processed about that particular individual. Although this piece is being written specifically in regards to Madonna herself, I think that the following may and can apply to every musician and/or celebrity/public figure out there. My request is simple. From here on out, if anyone out there is gonna pass any kind of judgement on Madonna or anyone else for that matter - please, I implore of you, do not do so until you've walked at least a few miles in their shoes, okay? Do not offer a full evaluation of them as a person until you have been where they've been in life and have lived to tell about it, okay? (sorry Madge, no pun intended in regards to "Live To Tell" but funny how art imitates life, heh?). 
Some people look at Madonna and automatically think "Wow, she really lucked out." Lucked out? Are you friggin kidding me? For those of us who hail from the same exact time era and geographical locations during our younger years as Madonna, we know exactly what she went through and that wasnt all luck, a tremendous amount of it was extremely hard work. Now I know that life wasnt easy for people of her generation not only in the Midwest, but in other areas of the country too (the South comes to mind), where it was just as stiflling and dead-end in the late 1970's and early 1980's; however, I can only write from my own standpoint and I for one can tell you, it was no easy task escaping from the stagnancy of the Midwest back in those days. It was fucken terrible and I'm not kidding. I know what Madonna went through cause many members of my generation, myself included, went through the same exact proccess - busting your ass left-n-right, day-n-night to try to save up enough money to get the hell outta there. Being so poor that at the end of each week you were lucky if you had $20 in your pocket and could even afford something simple as Ramen noodles for a dinner meal. Then on top of it, having everyone around you pounding it into your brain "Well, this is the real world, get use to it." My sweet white ass it was the real world, nothing coulda been further from the truth and it wasnt just Madonna and I who knew that.
Thats one of the reasons why I do admire Madonna so damn much. Because she single-handedly proved to my generation that if you wanted something bad enough and worked your ass off hard enough for it, you could make it. You could indeed escape the shackles of any Midwestern hell and make a decent life for yourself and most of all, lead a happy existence.Oh sure, we all know from the various headlines over the years that she's had her share of ups-n-downs over the years too but who hasnt?
That's yet another thing I admire about Madonna - her uncanny ability to literally reinvent herself every decade of her career as well as make herself relevant to the changing times. Sure, I treasure her for her music, for all the contributions she has made in the fight against Hiv/AIDS, and the list of accolades goes on and on; but, above everything, no matter what has happened in her life, she has managed to stay on top and that's something I hope she always will.
Maybe I shouldn't let all the negative criticism towards her rub my rhubarb the wrong way so much but I just cant help it. I've heard so many people scream out "Well, I don't like her cause of this!" or "She's nasty cause of this or that!", especially the people who've only known of her based on the last 10 years or so and I think to myself "Oh my fucken gawd, please, getta hold of yourselves!!! Do you think if she was really THAT bad she'd still be around??" I mean, c'mon people, come to reality. It literally makes me laugh my ass off because I see so many people slinging all this mud at her with such self-righteous pompous arrogance, yet if she really were even a quarter of the nasty-douchebag-from-hell that some people paint her as, wouldn't that mean she'd be a helluva lot less successful and more of a nobody than those who criticize her?.jpg)
Personally, I think the real reason alotta folks are always ragging on Madonna is because of their own insecurities and petty jealousies because alotta of them simply can't deal with how much she has taken the world by storm. She did it. She succeeded. And, I think it's safe to say she's gonna keep going at full-speed ahead when it comes to both her career and her life in general. I just wish I could say to every person out there who has nothing but non-flattering things to say about her"Oh really? Well if you have all the answers, then why arent you where she is at, hmmm?"
I know there will be some people pissin-n-moanin about this piece and who knows, probaly launching their own anti-tirades against it and me, butcha know, I'm glad that I spoke the truth here today. For those of my generation who do respect her, she really was a lighthouse of hope when so many of us really needed one - and she still is. Even if you are someone who abhors every single iota of that woman's existence on this planet, again, please keep in mind that if you did indeed have the right to judge her as you please, wouldnt you yourself be in a much better place than she is now? Think about it. Resentment and bitterness do not a career make, not for Madonna, not for anyone. Thank you for reading.
