The issue of pictures/photographs. Hey, I think that's a great idea, letting others see the real person they are typing to, makes perfect sense to me. BUT, here's where I personally have a problem with that - aside from the photo posted on my real account, which the only difference between the way I look in it then and now is that I've lost about 17 to 20 lbs since that photo was taken, there won't be any new pics of me anytime soon and here is why - because I was forced outta the closet as an Hiv'er by Facebook itself and since I had no choice in that matter, I'll be damned if I'm gonna surrender anymore choicemaking decisions in the near future. I'm still dealing mentally with all of this and the last thing I wanna do at this particular point in time is say "Hey everybody!!! Look at me!!! 5 to 7 new photos of the artist formerly known as HivSpice, all for your viewing pleasure!!!" Point blank, I don't think so motherfucker. However, when I'm ready to post new pics of myself online, trust me, y'all will be the first to know, okay?
Speaking of selfies and what-not, that is something that I've noticed moreso now than ever before when it comes to being online - people are STILL fairly obsessed with what other people look like. And that just blows my mind, it really does. You would think that in the age of Hiv/AIDS which we're currently still living in, people would FINALLY realize that yes, physical looks may play a role in how 2 individuals relate/connect with each other BUT THAT should be a very minor part of any relationship, it's a person's personality and strength of character that should be the crowning prizes of the overall individual. But, it just ain't so. And that's okay, but let's get something straight right away with anyone who may consider approaching me for an interpersonal relationship....
....I am NOT a gym clone, I'm extremely lucky to be alive(!)...I'm not in my 20's, they are far behind me...I am NOT a trophy husband, those days ended way back in the late 1980's for me, kids...what I am is justa nice, decent, average-looking, honest, hardworking individual who happens to be gay, who happens to be a 26 year survivor of being Hiv+, and who would LOVE to find that special someone, especially since 50 looms closer and closer with each passing day! lol...seriously though, there is nothing fancy or extravagant about me, I'm probaly the most simplest (and perhaps even dull in some cases, I suppose)and down-to-earth person you will ever wanna meet. And that about sums it up. So if you not interested or can't handle what I am, then please, by all means, you know where the curb is. I don't need anymore bullshit in my life than I am already contending with and I'd almost bet my bottom dollar that you don't either.
What do I want most from that future special person in my life? It's rather simple and just like me - be real. All I want is a real person. Don't think of ways to try and impress me because quite frankly, my ability to be impressed by anyone out there died a long, long time ago. Just be yourself, keep it real, be honest and all that other good stuff and chances are that those things will make more of an impression on me than anything else.
I mentioned in my previous blog entry that there hasn't been any majorly negative fallout from me revealing - more like being coerced - my real identity; but, there's something that no one has bothered to take into consideration regarding me and I think this needs to be addressed right away - IF any of the media demons from my past stumble across me from here on out and attempt to make contact and/or start "shit" with me, you better make certain that THAT kinda scenario isn't gonna make you flip out and run away. I've dealt with them in the past and already know how to deal with those characters (actually, the more proper word would be "bastards" no lie), but if you're not sure, then you gotta speak up and keep your cards up on the table, where they should be anyways, know what I mean Sparky? I'm not saying any of this is gonna happen BUT I've been around long enough as well as been through enough things in my life to know that rather than be positive, negative, or whatever, it's best to be prepared, just in case. So please take this cautionary stance as just part of a mere reality check should you and I find ourselves bonding with each other.
No, this post is NOT directed towards any individual in particular, it's simply my stance on this whole relationship business since people can now see the real person behind HivSpice and that really is basically about it. I guess maybe we could even call this little essay a disclaimer in regards to my stance on interpersonal relationships, but hell, even I don't need to be that dramatic. I am who I am and hopefully you will like me and get to know me better; but, if for some reason you choose not to, oh well, que sera sera, because when it really boils down to it, I plan to keep on keeping on either way. And you should too. Thank you everyone for taking the time to read this.
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