Ramblings On Popularity - Saturday, July 7th, 2012

I've been debating for the last coupla weeks about whether or not to write about this subject because not only have I previously written about it in this blog, but the definition of this term is just like an opinion - everybody has one. I realize that sounds cliche but as somebody who usually receives a myriad of answers to the question "Why are you under the impression that I am popular?" it can be perplexing, even downright confusing. Perhaps a better question would be "That's great but exactly what is your definition of that term?"

With being a fairly visible Hiv/AIDS activist, I've noticed over the years, but especially over the last few months, that alotta folks out there think I'm "popular" when it comes to my activism. Perhaps to an extent that is true but when it comes to people comparing me to my fellow Hiv/AIDS activists, I really am just small potatoes. Think about it. I don't have my own individual website; nor my own spearheading organization; nor photo albums of myself posing with various gliteratti; nor my own Facebook group (gawd forbid); nor any of the other denominators that indicate popularity. There's just me, this blog and that's basically about it (at least for now). Hey, I don't have any problems with any of that, besides, the more simplified my life is the happier I am overall.

Oh sure, there is that teeny tiny space that I hold in the vast realm of GLBTQ history because of whom my partner was but as proud and silently revereful as I am towards that era in my life, let's face it, to the countless members of the younger generations who aren't even the least bit familliar with who and what Harvey Milk & George Moscone were all about, I really am considered an old dinosaur in that sense, ancient history if you will. 

It's kinda funny in a way because a coupla years back when I shared my personal connection to the aformentioned with one of the more well-known gay Canadian journalists out there, just as I was about 2 seconds away from revealing my true identity to him, he responded "Well, who's really gonna care about that now anyways? That was then." True, but moments like that don't happen in every lifetime. So maybe I am an old dinosaur after all but damn, it sure did feel very intense when it all was happening at the time. Perhaps someday someone will stumble upon such ancient scrolls and maybe even exclaim "Whoah, you're never gonna believe this but that Spice dude..."

Regardless of the past, present and/or future, I only wanna be "popular" in 2 senses of the word. First, I wanna be respected as someone who did everything he possibly could in waging the war against (as well as educating) this terrible monster called the Hiv/AIDS epidemic. Someday after I'm gone I'm hoping that at least a few folks will say "Damn, he did the best he could to save lives and comfort others. Second, if "popularity" can be gaged on the amount of people whom truly love and care about you, as well as who your true friends really really are, then I wanna be one of the top contenders when it comes to that because everything I say and do isn't soley for my own benefit but for the benefit of others. People - but especially my fellow Hiv'ers and PWAS -  need to know that there really is someone out there who genuinely cares about what happens to them and if I can't be that to others, then what the hell is there?

I won't get on my soapbox about how thoroughly disgusted I am with some (not all) of the younger generations of Hiv/AIDS acitivsts out there because like yourselves I too realize I have already said a lot in that direction; but, there is something that I need to reassure people about and that is simply this - you will never catch me being popular for the sake of my self because that simply isn't me. Like I've said before, I'm not out to win any popularity contest of any kind, but if anyone is gonna classify me as "popular" then all I ask is that others do so for the right reasons, not the wrong ones. Thank you for reading. 

Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo