Post-Cancer Hair - Friday, July 8, 2011

There really is no other more appropriate title for this piece than that because in the last month or so, I've been encountering a tremendous amount of people online who have either been recently diagnosed, or are currently battling this-or-that kinda cancer and in the majority of the discussions that I've been a part of, one of Top 10 questions is "Well, how will it affect my body, including my hair?" Like with every disease out there, each person's body is gonna react differently towards such treatments as chemo and/or radiation. Sure, you'll find similiarities in people's experiences but the way any given treatment option affects another person's body may be different for another person who is using the same identical treatment option, it all depends. 

Such is the case when it comes to the subject of the hair on your head, as well as on the rest of your body. The age-old myth that everyone who goes through chemotherapy automatically loses their hair is just that, a myth. True, there are folks out there who this may happen to, but in most cases you either lose hair only in this-or-that area or in some rare cases, none at all. I personally never went through radiation for my testicular cancer, only surgery and chemotherapy (3 cycles), so in discussing this subject of hair loss, please note that I only going on my own personal experiences with chemotherapy. I'm notta oncologist, a radiologist nor a doctor, I'm justa survivor, and an extremely thankful one at that. I'd love to tell everyone out there that the same rules apply to radiation but I cannot because I never went through that, and though both of those treatment options can wreak a certain degree of havoc on the human body, they both are two totally different ballgames.

I've already written about my own experiences with testicular cancer in this blog a few times prior to this piece and the last thing any writer wants to come across as is a broken record; so, for those of you whom are not battling cancer, or have no one in your lives who is currently battling it, you may wanna skip over this piece altogether, it's up to you.

And when it comes to chemotherapy, like any other treatment method out there, not all chemo regiments are the same. I know when I went through cancer years ago I wish they woulda had all the pill-therapies they have nowadays for folks, of course depending on what kinda cancer you have, or so I've been told. 

My chemotherapy was extremely intense. Following my orchiectomy (the polite medical term for removing one of your balls), I went through 3 cycles of chemo, each cycle consisting of 5 consecutive days of chemo, followed by two weeks off, and then repeated for another 2 cycles. It was no joyride, that's for sure. Monday thru Friday, from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. I'd go to the cancer clinic where they would hook me up to an IV and that is exactly where I would sit each day for 9 hours straight. Oh sure, they made you comfortable and you could get up to walk around if you like, like if you had to use the lew, but whatta pain in the ass it was hauling that damn IV machine around. I guess this is a bit harder for me to talk about then I previously thought, even after all these years. Okay, onto the main subject.....

Here's what I was told about hair loss via my oncologist as well as the oncology nurses, that I....may or may not lose all my hair on my head and the rest of the body....that when my hair would grow back, it would be like one or more of the following - it''d either be it's own natural color, only a darker version of it; or, it would be gray or totally white...the tecture would be totally different, very very coarse and grainy, akin to almost a straw-like feel to it...aside from the areas of where I would lose hair on my body, the only other extremely rare possibilities is that it would NOT grow back in certain areas OR my hair might fall out more than once during the intermittent chemo cycles.

Before I share with y'all what happened to my hair, there's something that needs to be pointed out here. Before you start chemo, whatever oncology team you speak with, please do not hesitate to ask to speak with the social worker who works with that team because that individual will be able to guide you on what your options are when it comes to wearing wigs, where to get your hair cut during your chemotherapy and other such questions. I was very lucky when my hair fell out (the 1st time, yeppers, I was one of those "extremely rare" cases, mine fell out twice!) because after I spoke with the social worker, I called the place where I always got my hair cut, told them my situation and they said "Glad you called us first, you came to the right place." And I did for not only were their hair stylists experienced working with cancer patients, but I found out that the same lady who cut my hair was a cancer survivor herself! 

I'll never forget the day I went in there to attempt to have my hair evened out, and how nervous I was when I took my hat off and showed her all the patches on my head where clumps of hair had gently fallen away. I started crying instantly and she looked at me right in the face and grabbed one of my hands and said "Dontcha worry Sweethaht, it's gonna be okay, it's all gonna be okay..." I'll never forget her and her adorable Boston accent! After surmising the situation we decided together it was best to simply shave off the rest of the remaining hair that was left. She was sucha nice lady and reassured me that if I had any further problems with my hair or even my scalp to give her a call and she'd get me in right away, and that if she could lick cancer, anybody could. I'll never forget her.

So here's what happened with my hair. BEFORE chemo, I wore it a coupla inches below my earlobes and it was semi-toehead in color, with a beginning hairline recession. AFTER chemo, and after it fell out twice, in-between each cycle of chemo, it changed totally. It became a dark-dishwater-blonde in color, with more of a hairline recession, and with white on the sides, not the sideburns, but the actual sides of my head turned white(!) and rather than growing out and over like normal hair, my hair doesnt do that anymore, rather it grows straight out and that's it. No lie. If I let my hair grow out continously it would look identical to announcer Don King's hair, and I am not shitting you one bit. Actually, I use to make a joke about it and told everyone to call me "Fuzzy-Pumper-Head" like that one Play-Doh toy from the early 1980's, because that's exactly what it looked like! In addition, my hair does feel somewhat coarse to me in tecture but you couldnt tell by looking at it.

I'm one of those folks who firmly believes that it's who you are in the inside that counts, not how you look on the outside; however, though some of my fellow blonde compatriots may or may not agree with the following, alotta us blondes take our hair color very seriously, we have a deep sense of pride regarding it. There's so many myths out there, like all blondes develop thinning hair and become bald by such-n-sucha age, so when my hair remained the same color it did when I was a teenager (I was 33 at the time of my cancer) up until my cancer period I thought to myself, in a very vain way "As it should be, ya sure wont get this color outta friggin bottle." And, since I've always viewed myself as a very average, simple-looking person, my hair was my trademark, probaly the only thing I was ever ever vain about in my entire life. So when I lost it, it wasnt just the process of losing my hair that upset me, it was like I was losing a part of myself, a part of how I identified with myself.

As to how I wear my hair nowadays, I wear it in an extreme crew-cut style, the best way to describe it is that it's so short that it's only one buzz level above being totally bald, because quite frankly I think it looks best that way, plus it feels best that way too, especially during these hot-n-humid seasons here in Boston. Even though I do agree with my Gram and other folks who still tell me I should be thankful to have any hair at all after all I've gone through, I gotta admit, I hate my color of hair! I really do. No offense to you dishwater blondes and dark-dishwater blondes out there, but sorry, your hair color may look great, even damn near spectacular on you, but on me? It looks like shit. Thats not just my personal opinion either - if I were to grow my hair out a bit more than I do and folks could see it with my skin-tone and eye-color, the first thing they'd notice is the obvious - damn, something just looks a bit off on that dude. Bottom line, no matter what you do or dont go through with cancer or any other disease, you gotta look the way that makes you feel best about yourself. Yeah, it really is that simple.

Regarding the rest of my body, I happened to lose body hair in very distinct places. Aside from my head, I lost all armpit hair and all...uhm...crotch-hair. I know, some of you are probaly thinking "Uh, TMI, Spice, TMI!!!" but hell, we're adults, I think y'all can handle this discussion, or so I assume...lol. 

I wasn't the least bit bothered by losing the armpit hair because quite frankly, I loved losing it there!! Oh my gawd, Ladies, I totally understand how y'all must feel about razor-burn and razor-bumps when it comes to shaving your armpits but damn, whatta wonderful feeling!! Sweet Jesus, to not ever feel sweaty and dirty in those areas during the hot summer months, for me personally, it was damn near liberating! For those of you Gals out there who piss-n-moan about shaving there, I can respect what you're saying, but damn, I think it's totally worth it! Besides, cancha all just put a dab or two of Cocoa Butter or Aloe Vera on those areas for a few minutes, before applying your deodorant, wouldnt that help with the razor-burn? Hey guys, dont cringe and laugh and say "How effeminate!" Dont knock it till you try it. As a matter of fact, I wish it was politically correct for men to shave their armpits because I'd never ever have armpit hair ever again. I still cant get over how clean and refreshing it made me feel, damn...

As for my crotch-hair, well c'mon, let's face it, they had to remove most of it anyways to perform the orchiectomy so I didnt have a problem with that hair loss area either. It all grew back in too but of course, naturally, a darker color than before! Damn dishwater blonde color...I guess for the first time in my adult life I truly understood why some people do dye their private areas. I mean, to look down there and exclaim "Whooahhh! What the hell's up with THAT color!?!" Damn, when you cant even feel good about THAT area, then you know it's sad! lol...I'm just being silly, I'm totally over it, really....for the most part.

Whew, I didnt think this piece would be this long, I was thinking along the lines of 5 to 7 paragraphs but there was alotta territory to cover. There's not much more I can say about the subject except that no matter what happens to your physical appearance as a result of chemo or any other treatment option for any given disease, always remember to love yourself no matter what AND just as with life before the cancer, it's no big deal, dont sweat it, you can always change things after you get through it all; but, in the meantime, you need to focus on overcoming any major hurdles first, okay? I'm not just here for my fellow Hiv'ers, I'm also here for you Cancer-fighters too. I mean that. It doesnt matter who or what you are, if you ever need an extra ear or extra shoulder, you just let me know. I definitely wont have all the answers but I'll always do my best to simply listen and to give you whatever strength I possibly can. Thank you for reading.

Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo