There's another reason why I have mixed feelings about going to Connecticut to work next month. For those of you who are regular readers of this blog, you may recall that when I contracted Genital Herpes, I did so because the man I was seeing at the time did not disclose that information to me, unlike myself who told him way before we even hit the sheets that I was Hiv+. Even after my Genital Herpes diagnosis, after I confronted him, he still denied it. So, rather that become an angry, bitter person and spewing forth all kinds of negative, spiteful venom towards the man, I chose to do what I felt was the right thing to do - I walked away from the situation, kept my focus on staying as healthy as possible and living life as happily as possible too. However, occassionally I still do wonder if I made the right decision and yes, you guessed it, this all took place while I was living in Connecticut the first time.
I've already written about my Genital Herpes infection a number of times in this blog but I find myself needing to revisit the issue once again. In the past several months, there have been so many people who have asked me "Why havent you called the whistle on this guy and outted him for what he did to you?" The answer to that is quite simple - harming and/or destroying another human beings life is not going to solve any problems. It's not going to take the Genital Herpes away. What's done is done. As for revenge, why would I wanna waste my valuable life energy on something negative like that, especially since I've already confronted the individual as well as proved that he is a liar?
The only thing positive that could be gained by my exposing and/or outting the man for who and what he is, is that maybe then he would stop infecting other unsuspecting individuals. But, that's a very big maybe folks. Just because someone is taken to task on any given issue does not mean they are automatically gonna curb any questionable and/or threatening behaviors on their part.
In the past I've made it a point to make very clear that this man who infected me with the Genital Herpes is not only closeted about his homosexuality, but that he, ironically, is also an Orthodox Jewish Rabbi. True, a person's religious affiliation should have nothing to do with who they are personality-wise but most of those who are even slightly familiar with the Jewish religion know quite well that the Orthodox Jews are the most vehemently anit-gay of the anti-gayest Jewish denominations. Talk about having ones bubka and eating it too, oi gevalt. I'm not singling him out because he happens to be Jewish (please, I'm a descendant of Russian Jews myself) but because he is using his religion as well as his religious station to not only mask his true sexual orientation but to also give himself immunity from the consequences he would encounter if he were to play by the rules like the rest of us do. Not disclosing that you have an extremely contagious STD to a sexual partner is unacceptable behavior (and in some states, illegal too), but to knowingly infect someone who already told you upfront that they are Hiv+ with yet another STD? It's not only irreprehensible but it clearly demonstrates that if by their own nature a person is misleading and dishonest, they're gonna be that way regardless of what their particular religious affiliation is. In other words, try not to dislike anyone; but, if you are gonna dislike someone, make sure it's not because of their religion but because they are a schmendrick.
Back to the immunity angle. Let's say I were to approach this particular man's local rabbinical council and present my case to them in the hopes that they would indeed reprimand him for his wrongdoing - would such a council listen to what I'd have to say or would they automatically discount it because I am a Gentile and he is a Rabbi? Would they, in all their alleged theological wisdom say amongst themselves "Well, he's one of us, he knows that homosexuality is wrong, this crazy gentile must be confusing him with somebody else." In other words, would I be totally discounted because of who I am as an individual? I dont know everything there is to know about the Jewish religion but I think the most they could do to him is temporarily suspend him so that he couldnt preach/administer at any congregation. Aside from warning other people so that they themselves could go get tested for Genital Herpes, that's the only good that would result from outting him. Seriously. Besides, why would I want to prevent him from preaching his religion anyways? That doesnt have one single thing to do with me whatsoever, that is strictly between him and God. As for any degree of guilt that he may have for what he did to me, which I doubt he has since he couldnt even admit the truth to me in the first place, that too is something that's strictly between him and God as well. Since I'm already infected, the only justice I would want now is to somehow warn other people so that it would prevent them from being infected with the Genital Herpes. 
I think when it comes to any type of STD's that you've personally been infected with, the two best things you can do is take as excellent care of your health as you possibly can and definitely do your best to make certain that you do not infect others with it. Beyond that, I dont think it should ever be an issue of whether this-or-that-person infected you, with the only exception being those individuals who knowingly infect others for whatever irrational reasons. Those are the people I think we all need to keep a close eye on.
I'd like to request something different from my readers as I close this piece. Please tell me - what would you yourselves do if you were in the position I was in? I'm serious, I'd really like to know you guys' & gals' take on this entire issue. I realize that I'm a grown adult and can make my own decisions just like the next person, but I'd like to hear peoples' feedback on all of this - did I indeed do the right thing or should I have tried harder to figure outta way to turn him in without destroying his life in the process? Looking forward to hearing back from folks on this and as always, thank you for reading.
Posted via email from Luctor Et Emergo
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