I've been debating about writing this topic for the last coupla days because many of my regular readers already know of the fairly interesting experiences I've had with internet social and/or support groups in the past; but, with it being summertime and alotta folks doing very little blog-reading, if any at all, I thought to myself "Why not? It's not like anyone's really paying attention at the moment anyways..."...So I'd like to talk more about the subject of Hiv/AIDS support groups on the internet.
Rule of thumb when it comes to their size and/or membership numbers....even though most folks automatically assume that the groups with the biggest memberships are the ones that are the best and the safest, that is not always the case, especially when you join groups measuring anywhere from the 100's on up to 1,000 to 1,500+ members because in most instances, you not only may find it difficult to keep up with the postings and/or activities of such groups, but you'll find that only about 15 to 20 members of those 1,000+ size groups are the only ones getting their issues addressed, in addition to the fact that the nucleic core of the group usually ends up revolving around those particular 15 to 20 people. Does this mean you should not join such large groups? Not by any means, it's just that may want to think about the above factors before making your decision.
As for the smaller groups, quite frankly, the smaller the group, the more personable it is and the better the response(s) when it comes to sharing posts and/or asking questions regarding whatever topics are at hand, again, just my opinion.
It's no big secret to those who know me but I'm notta huge fan of internet groups of any kind, because I find it somewhat difficult to communicate effectively within them due to the wide spectrum of viewpoints that exist on any and every topic out there. In other words, it's the type of scenario where no matter what you say, someone is gonna accuse you of being too out-spoken or opinionated and for me, I dont care too much for prepubescent mindgames to begin with. Plus, in my particular case, as I may have mentioned in previous pieces, I'm usually regarded as a "non-person" due to my anonymity when it comes to the Hiv/AIDS support groups so in that regard my being a member is almost a mute point. Sad to say but true nonetheless.
Why then, do I belong to some of these groups? Strictly due to educational/informational purposes. Our modern technologically advanced world that we live in is always constantly changing and growing so why not do oneself a favor and keep up with the latest news and developments? To me, that's just common sense. So you may notice me on the list for this-group-n-that-group but 9 times outta 10 you'll very rarely see me post or comment on anything within those groups because honestly, I'm really just there to keep up-to-date with things and thats about it. With working as much as I do and doing my internet outreach stuff (for lack of a more conclusive description) I really dont have the extra time to be living within those groups like some of the other members do anyways.
I have been thinking of leaving one of the larger Hiv/AIDS support groups of which I am a member of because quite honestly, I'm really getting majorly fed up with alotta the bullshit that takes place within it. The founder and/or administration members continously acting like they are the ultimate gods & goddesses of the Hiv/AIDS universe (yeah, right and I'm really Betty Grable's kid brother); people CONSTANTLY pissin-n-moanin about their physical woes & ailments yet due to the newer drugs of the last 10 years or so, their pain/discomfort will be over within 2 weeks and their lives will go back to normal, versus the friends I've known who have died from such ailments because there were NO DRUGS which could save their lives at the time; and, it's getting to the point where sometimes it's hard for me to literally physically stomach all the vanity and egotism that runs rampant in such large groups.
Really. I mean, you literally turn on your computer, click onto the group title on the left side of your computer screen, the group homepage pops up in front of you and then it's like you get hit by this giant wave of purely unadulerated prepubscent bullshit and you find yourself saying to the screen "Would you people just fucken calm down and get a hold of yourselves!?!?!" I, nor anyone else of my generation, woulda survived the early years of the AIDS epidemic had any of us behaved like that; in fact, had we acted that way I sincerely believe most of us would have been kicked outta groups like ACT-UP and GMHC left-n-right. Irrational behavior, arrogance, insolence - these really are not a few of my favorite things, indeed.
Another thing about some of these Hiv/AIDS support groups that really hocks me off is the quasi-religiousness of some of their members. I gotta little newsflash for those of you who use your organized religion and spiritual beliefs as your rocks of strength in those daunting and darkest hours. Hiv/AIDS has been around for 30 years now and there still is notta cure. If you wanna use your spiritual belief system as strength to help you deal with your battle against this disease, as well as a preparation for your final hours, and the like, go right ahead, it's your choice, more power to you. HOWEVER, please keep in mind that after all these years no amount of praying to God, to Yahweh, to Jehovah, to any and every supreme being(s) whom you feel are personally responsible for the welfare of the universe in which we live in has stopped the Hiv virus and/or AIDS. No, I'm not saying folks should stop praying, nor give up their spiritual beliefs or their religous practices, but when some of you within these groups look at someone who is dying from this-or-that infection, someone whose body is riddled with Kaposi's Sarcoma, someone who is so emaciated they make Karen Carpenter look like some obese-porker-straight-outta-hell and then you yell out "Oh but God is good, God is great, God is my strength in my disease!" it makes me wanna literally climb through my computer screen and slap the living shit outta some of you.
Bottom line - if you're gonna use organized religion and public prayer statements as a means to make some form of spiritual atonement before your impending death (let alone what you personally perceive as your impending death), hey, that's up to you; but, if you're gonna use either or both of those things as a justification for thinking in a negative, fatalistic manner, then please, by all means, keep it to yourself cause the rest of us have enough to deal with on our platters as it is.
I truly do not know how the average Hiv'er, or those with full-blown AIDS, can even think clearly for themselves when exposed to the flagrant absurdity of some of the larger online support groups. I already know that other members within those groups know that everything that I've said on this subject is the truth but apparently for some reason the majority of them are too fearful to admit it. Fearful. Of what, I ask? We're in an internet support group, I dont think the fate of the world rests on anything as unstable and superfluous as that. Fearful of getting kicked outta the big clique? Maybe some folks are and I feel sorry for them if that is indeed the case but for myself, I didnt tolerate that kinda crap in high-school and I'll be damned if I'm gonna be intimidated by it as an adult, a middle-aged one at that.
There's good-n-bad in everything under the sun, so if you're thinking of joining any type of internet group, whether it's an Hiv/AIDS support group or not, the choice is yours but please, give it some thought before doing so. Remember, just as in high school, if it means having to sacrifice your integrity, your common sense, your self-worth, then you have to ask yourself, is it really worth it all? I dont think so but like I said, to each his own. Thank you for reading.
Note: As I go to post this before I turn in for the night in the next few minutes, I must admit that at first I was gonna delete this entire post because I already know it's not gonna go over too well with some folks out there, particularly those who belong to some of the larger Hiv/AIDS support groups out there. But then, only several minutes ago, I visited one of those groups and an administrator was giving a referendum to some group members like some Third Reich dictator, and I thought to myself "What the fuck is this? Some whacked out version of Auschwitz on the internet??" I don't regret writing, nor posting, this piece and if nobody out there likes it, then they can just bend down and kiss my sweet American ass. Enough said. G'night everyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment